Unexpected Fate
by BellatrixRiddleSnape
Summary: Nineteen-ninety-six is the year Olivia let go of the only child she had. Being promised that the child would be an ideal candidate for adoption, Olivia trusted them and told herself for years after that the baby would be loved into a family. Now sixteen years later, a young girl shows up to the precinct needing Olivia's help. Her name Carter Benson. The child Olivia gave up.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hello! This won't be long, but I hope you enjoy this chapter and maybe get to enjoy this story I'm beginning. Please read on and enjoy!**_

* * *

"I think I might actually be done with paperwork." Olivia Benson said placing the last file on the stack of papers that were gathered on her desk, she was shocked to see she was done with the paperwork of her last case. Considering she had been spending most of her night doing paperwork on her last case it was a relief to finally be done with it.

"Well isn't that a special moment, treasure it." Nick Amaro said pursing his lips, looking down at the thick stack on his desk he still had to go through.

Olivia chuckled at her partners comment shaking her head, and pushed her bangs away from her eyes, "You hungry? If you are I'll go and grab us something if you want." She asked, knowing her partner must've been hungry since he had yet to go home.

Nick looked up at Olivia waving his hand in the air, "Nah, you go home get some sleep. You need after staying up for the past two days." he knew Olivia had gone days without sleep and he wanted to see her go home to catch up on it.

"Subs it is." Olivia said standing up from her desk grabbing the car keys that were resting by her phone.

Nick sighed heavily placing his pen down, "Liv-" he was cut off by his partner.

"I'm going anyway, I haven't had dinner either." Olivia said giving a small smile as she made her way to the elevators to exit the precinct, once she stepped inside the elevator the doors closed on her.

In the other elevator a young girl stepped out. She had light brown hair that went below her shoulders, slightly wavy, brown eyes, a small button nose, she was short about 5'5, she was built. Her dark brown eyes scanned over the precinct to spot a familiar face, but she didn't. Instead, she stepped further inside the precinct to see the detectives were sitting at their desks going over paperwork.

She reached into her back pocket of her jeans and she pulled out a piece of paper, biting her bottom lip she made her way into the precinct. Her nerves were setting in, as she took each step into the office filled with detectives knowing she had to get the signature of one person who worked here.

Closing the second to last file Nick looked up to see a girl standing a few feet away, her eyes scanning the precinct looking for someone as if she was lost. He couldn't help but notice, she looked lost. He pushed himself away from the paperwork and got up taking a step towards her, "Can I help you?" he asked her.

The young girls attention quickly turned to the gentleman detective in front of her, "Hello. That would nice actually, I'm looking for someone." She said looking down at the paper once more to check if she was correct, "Olivia Benson."

Hearing the girl say his partners name Nick raised an eyebrow, "She's my partner, she actually just stepped out. I can help you if you need-" he was quickly cut off.

"Um, actually I need her. Do you have any idea when she would be back?"

"... Shouldn't be long." Nick replied, "She just went out to grab something to eat."

"Thank you. I'll wait." She turned away from the detective before stepping out into the hallway, she had seen a vending machine in the hall and thought about grabbing a drink while she waited.

A few minutes passed after Olivia stepped out of the elevator and made her way to her desk. She realized she had forgotten her wallet after stepping outside the precinct. "Forgot my wallet of all things." She said reaching over her desk opening the desk drawer.

Nick quickly stopped his partner, "There's a girl here looking for you." He pointed to the girl that was waiting patiently in the hallway, starring down the papers in her hands.

Olivia raised an eyebrow turned to look at the girl, Olivia slipped her wallet into her back pocket as she quickly made her way in the hall to confront the girl. It wasn't rare that a girl came and asked for her, after all the cards she had given out. Olivia placed a hand on the girls shoulder she said, "Excuse me." She said in a gentle voice.

The girl turned to look at who was talking to her, her eyes met with Olivia's as a small smile grew on her lips, she grabbed the strap of her messenger bag, "You... you're Olivia Benson?"

"I am... How can I help you?" Olivia asked tilting her head examining the girl face, Olivia took notice that she was familiar, but she couldn't but her finger on it.

"Um, did you have a baby girl in ninety-six?" She asked quietly not wanting others to over hear their conversation.

"..." The simple question made Olivia turn quiet, her past came back to her. No one but her mother knew of that, not even her old partner Elliot. Olivia looked over the girl closer, she could see that the girl resembled herself. This couldn't be her. The baby girl she gave gave birth to years ago. "Oh my God." Olivia said under her breath.

The young girl bit her bottom lip nervously and looked into the other woman's warm brown eyes. She had a feeling Olivia knew who she was. "I'm your daughter." the girl said.

Olivia was in shock from the words that had come out of her mouth. She remembered those seventeen years ago, she sat in the hospital bed after giving birth, knowing the baby girl she had could never actually her claimed as hers. "You're beautiful..." Olivia whispered under her breath.

The young girls cheeks turned a light shade of pink from the kind compliment and she glanced down at he hands, "Thank you. I'm Carter by the way."

Olivia smiled gently hearing her name. "Carter. Are you hungry? I was out to get myself something to eat, if you are I could get you something." Olivia asked hoping to get more then a small conversation, as this one.

"I'm okay. Though actually I need you to-" Carter was going to continue, until she decided against bringing up the subject at this moment in time. "Actually, a bite to eat sounds great."

Olivia's brown eyes ran over the girl and nodded slowly. She could hardly believe that the daughter she gave birth to was standing in front of her, "Alright... do you like subs? If not there is this diner down the street that has a-"

"Subs sound good." Carter quickly said, she could see just how nervous Olivia was by the way she was talking. She didn't blame her, after all this wasn't exactly something that happened everyday. Her nerves were just as bad, though she didn't want to let them show.

* * *

A table sat by the open windows were Olivia and Carter and both of their meals being untouched. Carter had taken a few sips of her drink and now began to play with the straw in her cup. Olivia found herself staring at the young girl in front of her, seeing how they shared the similar features. They shared the same eyes, that was the first thing Olivia noticed, then they seemed to share the same smile. Olivia couldn't stop starring at the young teenager sitting in front of her, the last she had seen her, she was the newborn swaddled up in a blanket.

She definitely wasn't the little newborn Olivia last saw.

"You've been staring." Carter said, breaking the awkward silence that lingered over the restaurant. "I'm guessing for... five minutes now? So, since we walked in here and sat down. Not counting the time you were staring in the elevator."

Olivia began to laugh under her breath, hearing the comment she brushed her hair away from her eyes Olivia replied, "I'm sorry I don't mean to. It's just... you're all grown up. The last I saw you, you were..."

"A baby?" Carter asked, raising an eyebrow. The look Olivia gave her was reassurance that she was correct, it seemed now Olivia didn't know what to say. "Yeah, needless to say I don't think I remember that." She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Olivia cracked a smile and laughed at her comment, she had a sense of humor. She noticed Carter had hardly touched the sandwich in front of her, "Would you like to order something else? We can if you'd like." Olivia offered.

Carter glanced down at her food and shook her head, "It's not that I don't want to eat, I just, I pictured how this would happen a million times. Now that it's playing out, isn't exactly how I pictured it. Now that I'm in the process of speaking to you. I lost my appetite." She replied, Carter then glanced down at the papers in her lap. "I just mean I'm nervous. I don't mean it in a bad way."

"I understand." Olivia shook her head, her eyes meeting with the matching brown eyes. "To be honest, I did the same. You're not alone." She motioned to the untouched food in front of her. It was obvious the young girl wanted to ask Olivia something, though she wasn't going to push her. "You can save it for later, if you get hungry."

Carter gave a small smile, "Thank you." She whispered under her breath. Carter knew she had to bring up the problem at hand rather than keep it going on. She grabbed the folded up piece of paper and turned back to Olivia, she sighed, "Um... I need your help." She said, keeping the folded paper in her lap.

"I will help you with whatever you need." Olivia said as she quickly leaned forward. This may have been the daughter she gave up fifteen years ago, but nevertheless it was still her child. She would do whatever it took to protect her or help her in this case."What is it you need help with?"

Carter began to unfold the piece of paper under the table, her hands slightly shaking. "You see I turn sixteen in two weeks. I'm fifteen now and I need your signature for something." Carter then placed the papers down on the table. "I'm applying for emancipation. From the state systems foster care, I've been in the systems since I was a few weeks old since I didn't get adopted."

Olivia took the piece of papers and ran her eyes over it, she could barely concentrate on the paper, still confused at the big picture in her head. "I'm sorry. I was told you would be adopted, they said there were these waiting lists. They said a couple was already looking at you for adoption. Your case worker said it looked promising." She said looking up from the papers.

"... Oh." Carter looked down at her lap attempting to avoid this subject now. She pushed her food away from her and placed her arms on the table.

"I don't know if they told you, but I had Transient Tachypnea. It's not that big of a deal. If you don't know what it is, the best way I can describe it is... when I was a newborn I had a difficult time breathing. They never told me much about it, I just know what it is. I was in the hospital for a few weeks. The doctors wanted to make sure until I was the age of three that it had passed, so I had doctors appointments until I was three. But the care was done by the nurses. I was healthy by the time I was three years old. Not many people want a toddler who was already raised by nurses and caretakers. They want a baby."

It broke Olivia's heart broke hearing about this, she never heard this once from the social worker. Olivia wanted to say something, but didn't know what were the right words to comfort the daughter she gave up for adoption so long ago.

"Anyway. When I was born, turns out no one signed a release of rights and as I was putting my things together for court with my caseworker, she told me about it. She was already taking forever to get it signed and when I saw your name and address on top of the file. I took it upon myself to find you." Carter crossed her arms over chest and leaned back in her seat, "You see, in order for me to get approved by a judge that I can get emancipated I need..." She found herself not being able to just say it, she shook her head and rolled her eyes, pointing at the paper that Olivia held, "Basically without your signature on that dotted line you are still legally... my Mom."

Olivia's widened eyes were locked on Carter's and she could hardly hold back the tears that were forming. Now she knew the truth to why her daughter found her and tracked her, it was a shock to hear that the young girl being only sixteen at the time was applying for emancipation. Now she would be turning sixteen in two weeks and would be her own legal adult. Liv's wandered down to the dotted line on the paper, she wanted nothing more than to help her child in anyway she could.

However, knowing that she was still her daughter, legally, made her not want to sign the papers. "... Are you sure you want to do this? Live on your own." Her voice was calm and her eyes concerned as she looked back at Carter.

Carter gave a small chuckle and shrugged her shoulders, "Rather than living in crappy foster care for another year, I would take it." She reached over and grabbed her cup of coke and began to take a few sips. "But, your signature would be great."

"You have a place to live, right?" Olivia asked, looking over the dotted line where he signature would be needed.

"Yeah... My friend and I planned on living together actually." Carter replied, she had a feeling that Olivia was worried about how she would be living after, but Carter didn't wish for her to worry. All she wanted from her was her signature on the document.

Olivia nodded once more and got up from her seat walking to the checkout, taking a pen that was laying there she grabbed it and returned back to the table to sign the paper. Then one swift movement Olivia signed her name, turning back to the table Olivia gave a small smile to Carter and handed her the paper, "There you are."

Carter looked down at the signature on the dotted line and a smile grew on her face as she took it back from Olivia, "Thank you." She said, turning she slipped it back into her bag.

"... Do you need help getting home or, I can take you some place rather than you walking around at this time of night?" Olivia asked. She wanted to make sure Carter got home safety. It was now already ten minutes to seven.

"Oh... Um." Carter looked up at the clock hanging on the wall across the sub shop, when seeing the time she contemplated on whether or not saying yes, "Actually a stop by social services would be awesome. If I could drop these off tonight that would save a lot of time for tomorrow."

"Yes, of course."

* * *

"... This is it."

Olivia noticed every step she took, she found a moment of knowing her daughter slipping away from her grasp, "Would you like for me to wait, then I can drive you home maybe?"

Carter looked over her shoulder and noticed Olivia was now close behind her, she didn't think this would actually be happening. Her birth Mother was wanting to take her back to her foster home. "I think my social worker will be able to do that. She usually does since she clocks out at around this time. So I'll be fine. Thank you though." She quickened her step towards the doors and did her best to keep walking.

Olivia could see that Carter was attempting to ignore speaking to her much longer, she didn't blame her. After all she gave her up so many years ago, in her daughters mind she probably thought Liv never would've wanted her.

"Are you sure you are ready to go out on your own? I mean, I just want to make sure you can take care of yourself. Have you found a steady job for income? A safe place to live? A place for you to finish school even?" Olivia sounded more like a worried Mother with every question.

"I'm working on it." Carter said, keeping her gaze forward rather than turning to speak to Olivia, she had a feeling this was going to happen. Her gaze was still locked on the doors that she badly wanted to walk through, hand her social worker her papers then be ready for court tomorrow. "It's been difficult."

Olivia could hear the hostility in her voice. She didn't blame her for it. Olivia took her hands out of her coat pockets, "Carter... I just don't want you to have chosen the wrong path and end up in a bad-"

"I've already done that. Getting out of the system is honestly the best for me at this point. Rather than another year in it. Scope drinking moms aren't exactly that responsible, then creepy dads that try to hit on you… I'd rather say goodbye to it." Carter said as she reached out and grabbed the door handle, she went to step inside when Olivia placed a gentle hand on her arm, causing her to stop holding the door open with her foot.

Olivia's gentle grip on Carter's arm caused the girl to stop, she turned and looked into Olivia's eyes, she then began to quickly say, "Carter, at least let me help you. I will help you in anyway I can, I understand if you don't want my help. But finding a place and getting a job is something that needs to be done immediately. As well as getting your education finished to graduate, then working your way into college will-"

Carter quickly cut Olivia off, "No offense, but I haven't had a Mom in fifteen years. I don't need one now."

Carter took her arm away from Olivia's grip then made her way inside, though she paused and quickly turned back to Olivia, "Thank you for… everything, Olivia."

Carter nodded her head and turned back into the building, quickly going towards the elevators in hopes that she would make it in time for social worker to get the papers. In the back of her mind she felt guilty for snapping at Olivia in such a way, after signing the paper and getting her dinner, but she was the one who gave her up for adoption, Carter wasn't going to welcome her with open arms at this point.

Olivia's gaze stayed on Carter through the glass doors from the moment she turned away from her, until the moment she stepped into the elevator. Tears were now falling from her eyes as she wiped them away and turned making her way back to the precinct. Carter's words stung, but she didn't blame her for the hostility that was there, after giving her up for adoption and now being in faster care was causing her to sign for emancipation. To be her own legal adult at sixteen. She couldn't imagine that ever being easy for a child at this time.

Going back to sixteen years ago Olivia thought of the the early morning she gave birth to her daughter. In labor for almost twenty six hours Olivia never thought she would be able to go through with the birth, the pain was unbearable and she didn't want the drugs harming the child, she endured every inch of pain to get the daughter healthy and adopted. Which she was promised by the social worker to have the child adopted, though it seemed from Carters words she never was adopted. Due to the fact she had trouble breathing, that caused her to have medical bills, then when she was able to be adopted she was three. Olivia knew just as well how difficult it was for toddlers, children, let alone teens to get adopted at this point.

The nurses never told Olivia she was a sick child, the moment Olivia saw her she looked to be a perfectly newborn baby, she had never seen something more beautiful. She was bundled up in a soft pink blanket, a small hospital prop hat on her head. Her nose was tiny like a button, her chubby cheeks were a light shade of pink, and when Liv held her she was afraid to hold her, thinking she would break her small fragile body. Though it was the exact opposite the moment she was placed in Olivia's arms, she held her close never wanting to let her go, but she already signed over the papers. Olivia had to let her go after an hour of holding her close, it broke her to watch her baby be placed in another persons arms and never know where the child would be going.

Olivia told herself for years that her child would be protected by the people who adopted her and would love her. She had no doubt that they wouldn't after going through such a trouble adopting a child. Anger was shot at the case worker who gave Olivia these broken promises. How could she have just believed that she would do that? Olivia was young, she had yet to go through the academy and was blind to it. For years she had thought of what had happened to the baby girl she gave up, now she knew the truth to what had happened.

While Olivia's mind was thinking of the past the sound of the elevator door opening caused her to come to her surroundings, she then saw the doors open and she stepped out into the precinct. Her eyes were still watered and she rubbed them with the back of her hands, causing her eyes to clear. She didn't want her partner seeing her crying, it would just cause him to ask questions. The brown bag with the sub was still in her hands, she would make sure to give it to Nick. She hardly touched it anyway.

Olivia stepped passed the double doors and looked at Nick's desk to see him on the phone and from the big smile on his face, it was most likely his daughter calling. She placed the bag on his desk and removed her coat, placing it on the back of her chair and then taking a seat at her desk. Though her mind was still filled with Carter.

Nick looked up from his desk and nodded at Olivia giving a small wave, he knew something wasn't right by the look on her face. Saying his goodbyes and telling his daughter goodnight Nick hung up the phone, he then looked up Olivia.

"Thanks for the sub. I told you not to get me one though." He reached out and took the brown bag.

Olivia looked up from her desk and gave a small smile and chuckle, "Then will it make you feel better if I said it was for me. But didn't end up touching it?" She asked running her fingers in her hair and leaned back in her chair.

Nick took the sandwich from the bag and smirked shaking his head, "That helps. But only a little." He replied, he unwrapped the sandwich and placed it down on her desk. He could see the look in her eyes, which caused him to see something in her he had seen before a million times, but this time was different.

"The girl that came in... she's alright? Not a new vic, is she?" He asked.

"..." How was she supposed to answer, she didn't know what to say for an explanation to him. There wasn't much of one. A heavy sigh Olivia shook her head, "She's not a new vic. She just needed some help and I helped her." She replied.

Nick could tell there was more, but he knew better than to push Olivia into talking, instead he would wait for her to bring it up. That may've been the truth to her story, but the way she was acting wasn't like normal Liv.

"I see." He whispered, "... I'm glad you didn't eat this. Pretty damn good if you ask me." He joked taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Well your lucky. Usually I would fight you for it." She got up from her desk and grabbed the case files she had on her desk. "I'm gonna head out, enjoy your dinner." She grabbed her coat and slipped the files into her bag, she then slipped her coat back on then made her way out. "Get home safe." She called out to him.

Nick waved to Olivia and smiled with a mouth full of food, though he quickly covered it with a napkin. He could tell something wasn't right with Liv, he had a hunch it was the young girl that came in earlier today. She knew Olivia by her name and was only needing her, it wasn't something he wasn't used to by now. Liv handed out her card to every victim. Though it made him wonder what this girl was wanting with his partner.

* * *

Once in the comfort of her own home it wasn't long before Olivia changed into her pajamas and was sitting on her couch, a blanket covering her lap and the files sprawled out over the coffee table, the sound of rain could be heard from outside. There was rain in the forecast for tonight. Olivia knew she should've been asleep in bed, but after what had happened today, sleep didn't seem like much of an option with her mind racing.

She hoped Carter got home safely, her social worker should've gotten her home like she said. The worry began to set in as she thought of Carter living on her own. How could that even be possible to work? She knew some judges would grant it to those who were capable of taking care of themselves, but she would've liked to know the outcome. In the back of her mind she remembered Carter making a comment about court being tomorrow. It being at family court and the court doors opening at nine.

If her court date was tomorrow she could go and see which fate the judge would be giving to Carter. She wanted to be there, even if she was now not legally her Mother, Olivia felt a need to go. Reaching across to the coffee table Olivia pressed on the lock button, seeing the time on the her screen she sighed, knowing that she had already gone without sleep for almost two days.

Closing the file Olivia then left the files on the coffee table and made her way to her bedroom with her daughters eyes burned into the back of her mind.

* * *

In the third courtroom Olivia stepped inside and saw the judge sitting at her bench, her eyes running over the new file that was given to her. Her eyes wandered to the plaintiff table to see Carter with her back standing there, she pressed her palms into the table to keep herself standing. Olivia made her way forward into the courtroom and took a seat in the back, her eyes never leaving Carter, she watched as she tapped her fingers against the table. From the way her body language, she was nervous.

Hon. R. Linden looked up from the files placed out in front of her, "Carter Benson. You are applying for emancipation is that correct?"

Carter looked up from the file she was going over, her eyes meeting with the judge, "Yes, your honor." She replied. "I turned fifteen last year which is the age for which you can apply, but I decided to wait another year to get everything in order."

"I see that." Linden slipped her glasses on the bridge of her nose and held the file up, her eyes scanning over it, "You turn sixteen in two weeks, is that correct?"

"Yes. With the hopes I get my GED, which I'm working for I'll be able to apply for a job." Carter replied.

Linden nodded looking over to the defendants table and pointed, "And is this your case worker here?"

A middle aged lady siting at the defendants table sat alone, her file as well placed out in front of her a brief case sitting under her seat. "Elaine Coleman your, Honor. From social services. I've only been Carter's case worker for a few months now. She seems to change hands often." Elaine replied, her eyes wandered over to Carter who stood only a few feet away.

"Yes, I see that. Seven different foster homes." Linden flipped through the pages placed in the file.

Carter began to fiddle with the file on the desk, "Well... that's not really my fault."

"And who's is it? Surely your not saying it's the seven families. Who offered to take you in?" She asked shuffling the papers around in front of her.

Carter quickly shook her head, "No. I-I wanted a good home the state of New York just hasn't provided me with one."

Linden chuckled, "So you have no place of residence as of today, is that correct?" She raised an eyebrow looking back up at Carter.

"Well, as soon as the petition is granted there is a studio not far from my school. I've already looked at an apartment there. There happens to be one for rent." Carter went to open her file and show her, but Linden cut her off.

"You're going to afford an apartment on what income?" Linden leaned forward against her desk, her arms resting on top.

"I have twenty-five-hundred dollars in the bank." Carter replied giving a small smile.

Linden began to shake her head leaning back into her seat, "Who is going to cosign your rental agreement? No landlord is going to rent an apartment to a minor-"

Before she could think Olivia found herself shooting up from the bench, "I'll cosign your honor." Olivia called out, her eyes looking straight at Linden. Her badge hung on her hip showing she was a cop. Which was normal for a cop to be sitting in at a hearing, but for one to offer to cosign an apartment to a sixteen year old, attempting to get emancipated, that wasn't as normal. As her actions cut Honor Linden from finishing all eyes fell on Olivia Benson who was standing in the back of the courtroom.

Carter quickly turned around and her eyes fell on Olivia, her eyes widened seeing who was the one to stop the judge. She felt her head spin and place her hand back on the table for support. She found the courtroom she was having her hearing. "Of course. She's a cop." Carter muttered under her breath. Her heart was pounding in her chest from the nerves and now shock she was feeling.

Lindens eyes landed on Olivia and once spotting the badge on her hip, it caused her to be a little confused. "I'm sorry. Who might you be?"

"... She's my... She's my birth Mother." Carter replied turning to face the judge, her nails almost digging into the table in front of her.

Olivia made her way out from the corner of the courtroom and stood in front of the barrier. "Detective Olivia Benson, your Honor. Badge number: 4015. I work in the Special Victims Unit." She said, her fingers taking the badge off her hip and revealing it to the judge.

Lindens gaze fell down to the file below reading over the small file that was there on the birth Mother, as she did she realized all that Olivia was saying seemed to be true. She had worked in Special Victims for almost fourteen years now, she had a stable living environment and seemed to be a stable working detective on her own. As she read over the other small things on the file Carter found herself looking over her shoulder at Olivia, she felt her stomach turn at how she was here, she didn't understand why.

Olivia's heart began to pound in her chest, she couldn't help but let her nerves show as she met eyes with Carter who quickly looked away from her. It was obvious that she wasn't happy of her presence, but Olivia knew if she didn't come she would regret it. Feeling the judges eyes on her Olivia turned her gaze back to Linden.

Switching her gaze from the file to Olivia, Linden began to speak, "Detective Benson, it's quite obvious you have a place of occupation, as well as income, and in a possession of a working vehicle. Place of living I assume?" She asked.

Before Olivia could answer the question the judge had given her Carter beat her to the punch.

"I'm sorry. What is going on?" Carter cut her off her hands gripping the edge of the table now. Frustration as to why the judge was asking these questions was growing worse as the time grew by, she didn't understand why this was happening.

"Ms. Benson." Linden turned her attention to the young girl, "I'm going to be very straight with you. I am not granting you emancipation. You have no income, you have no permanent residence, you filed a fee waver in order to cover the court cost. Now..." She grabbed a piece of paper that was resting on top of the file, "Olivia Benson is still legally your Mother."

"No. She's not I had that paper signed as you can see." Carter pointed to the paper and shook her head.

"This signature was neither witnessed or notarized. So, unless Detective Benson has any objection..." Linden held her hand out to Olivia and said, "I'm releasing you back into her temporary custody." She grabbed a pen and classed the file up before signing the court document given to her.

Olivia was in shock at what the judge was offering and lightly shook her head, "... I don't your, Honor." She replied in almost a whisper. Her eyes fell back on Carter who had small tears in her eyes, but quickly wiped them away as quick as possible. It hurt to see her daughter even shedding one tear. Nor would she learn for it to ever be easy.

Linden nodded handing the file back over the Carter's case worker. "... This case is dismissed."

* * *

It wasn't long before Carter was seen storming out of the courtroom, she slipped her arms into her coat as she did that her messenger began to get tangled in-between her coat and the sleeve of her dress. In the middle of the long hallway leading out to the exit, Carter shoved off her coat letting it fall of behind her and her bag falling by her feet. "Dammit!" She exclaimed.

Olivia stood watching Carter as her messenger bag got tangled and it fell by her side, Olivia quickly walked up behind her and grabbed her coat. She dusted off the coat, she knew herself that Carter wasn't happy with how things went today in court. Olivia wasn't meaning to hurt Carter in anyway, however, she didn't want to let her go. "Carter..." Olivia said softly and stepped next to her.

Carter turned her head to see Olivia and quickly she shook her head, "I should've known you would be here." She said under her breath. "You're a cop, you must practically live here." She turned to face her, seeing she was holding her coat, she held her hand out to her. "Thank you for picking them up. Can I have my things?"

Olivia would be lying if she said that didn't hurt, but she knew she had to do everything she could to get her home. "Yes, here you go." Olivia placed the bag by their feet and went to help her in the coat.

Seeing what she was doing Carter raised an eyebrow, "I'm not three." She snapped, then realizing the tone of her voice she shook her head, "Why are you even here? You made it clear that you were done with me the moment you gave me up. And signed those papers." Carter found herself glancing up in Liv's eyes.

"I wanted to make sure the hearing went alright. I didn't meet with the judge before this, Carter. Even though I gave you up for adoption, it doesn't mean I don't care for you." Liv held out the coat, "I do. I wanted to make sure you went to the best home possible. I was promised that, but after what you told me-"

"It's obvious I didn't." Carter finished her sentence and began to chuckle, "Look... You might be my birth Mother. But there is no way I'm living with you. I'd rather go back to foster care." She took the coat Olivia was handing her and slipped her arms through. "I don't even know you. All I know is your name and your badge number at this point." Carter bent down and picked up her messenger bag. "Thanks for the offer though." She turned on her heel and made her way out the exit and down the steps.

Olivia watched as Carter walked away and quickly followed after her.

"Carter!" She exclaimed, "Carter!" Liv said once more, trying to gain her attention.

By the way Carter was walking away from it didn't seem like she had any idea of stopping anytime soon. It wasn't until they got down the steps Olivia grabbed Carter by the arm, she held her back. "It is under court order that you live with me now. You're no longer belong the foster care, not until the judge says you get transferred back in. I know, I know you have absolute no right to trust me. I'm just asking you... Please come with me." Olivia's eyes were more pleading then her actual tone of voice.

Carter looked into Olivia's eyes and felt a sense of warmth as she spoke. She felt a connection to this woman that she had never felt before, which only made her want to push her away further. Though she knew she was already kicked out of the last foster home, she had no where else to go. Looking away Carter bit her bottom lip from shedding tears.

"... My things are at social office." She whispered.

A sense of relief was washed over Olivia as she heard her reply. She nodded and gave her wrist a gentle squeeze, "I can take you there. It shouldn't be closed since it's on a Saturday. However, they do close at twelve, it's now eleven fifteen. Let's get you there before that." Liv began to walk towards where she parked the car. Carter watched her walk a few feet, when Olivia looked back it caused Carter to take a few steps forward following her and muttering a few inaudible words.

* * *

_** A/N: Chapter one is up, now I began on chapter two. Please I ask that you review and maybe even favorite and follow this story, I'm really enjoying it so far. Thank you to all! **_


	2. Chapter 2

Both drives to and from social services were silent, mostly filled with the sound coming from the radio. Carter sat in the passenger seat, her forehead pressed against the glass window, her eyes running over the streets of Manhattan had to offer, though she kept finding herself dozing off. Though every time she got remotely close to falling asleep she found herself waking up. Olivia noted that, her body would relax for only a few seconds then Carter would tense up every time she would wake up. She could tell by the way she was acting, she was tired.

Once arriving to the apartment Carter began to grab her bags from the trunk, when she turned to grab the second one Olivia reached in and pulled the second one out. Carter turned to her and before she could protest Olivia's actions Olivia cut her off, "I can take it. Don't worry. Let's get you inside." Liv said slamming the trunk to the car.

Carter didn't fight it. She just nodded and turned following after Olivia. Carter was used to living in new places, however, living with her birth Mother wasn't something that would be normal. Olivia was now her Mother, yet again from what the judge was granting it didn't seem like Olivia ever stopped legally being her Mother. Carter expected to be moving in with a friends of hers as of now, but it didn't seem like it would be going the way she planned. Actually it was far from that plan. Now she had a legal parent, a real parent. Something Carter wasn't expecting nor ready for.

Unlocking the door to her apartment Olivia then let it swing open. In the back of her mind she wanted to say, 'welcome home', but had a feeling it may have not settled well with Carter, for now she hoped. "Come on in." Liv stepped inside and placed the bag on the coffee table. Seeing Carter step inside she then turned and closed and locked the door behind her, placing the keys on the kitchen counter.

Carter's eyes wandered around her new surroundings, she could hardly remember the last time she stood in a place as nice as this. When the memory came back she quickly pushed it away from her and let her eyes roam. This would be her home for now, until the judge decided otherwise that is. Licking her lips Carter rested the bag on the floor next to her and brushed her hands against her jeans, she wasn't used to being in such a nice place. She didn't want to touch anything afraid from causing even a small mess.

Going through the mail on her counter Olivia turned to see Carter looking around the room, a look in her eyes of uncertainty due to her being in a new place. The sense caused Olivia to place the mail on the counter and step towards her, "... Carter. Would you like me to show you to your room? I could tell in the car you were dozing off a little. Would you like to take a nap?" She asked standing a few feet away from her.

Hearing Olivia break the silence Cater turned and looked up at her, she ran her fingers through her hair and gave a small nod. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good." She replied and bent down grabbing her bag that was by her feet. Following Olivia into the bedroom Carter noticed that it was the only room in the apartment, guess Olivia never planned on getting custody of her daughter back. "This is your bedroom. I... I can't sleep here it's your-"

"My bed is that couch if you wish for me to be honest." Olivia placed Carter's other suitcase by the dresser, she then turned to bed, "It grows on you once you fall asleep on it every night. Believe me, Carter. Until we can get the bedrooms situated, I don't mind giving up the bed I have yet to even break in." Liv chuckled and began to pulled the duvet and sheets back, then she took off the throw pillows and placed them on the armchair in the corner of the bedroom.

Carter watched as Olivia did so and couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact that this was her Mother. Her birth Mother who gave her up for adoption actually had custody of her now, well temporary. Though it didn't seem like this could be real, more like a fantasy that Carter wanted more than anything as a child. Now it was more like a nightmare.

"After you take a nap, we can order some takeout. If your up for it?" Olivia said as she placed the last throw pillow on the armchair, she then turned to back to Carter.

"Yeah, yeah. Sounds great." Carter replied, placing her bag at the end of the bed. Eying the bathroom that was to her left she bit her bottom lip, "... Can I use the bathroom?" She asked.

Olivia looked over her shoulder at the bathroom and noticed it was clean for the most part, except for the towels sitting in the hamper in the corner. "Go right ahead." She replied and moved out of the way for Carter to go inside. Watching as she walked past her Olivia then heard the click from the door closing and let out a relieved sigh. It was going to be a process, Liv knew that, but this was going to be more difficult than she thought. Raising not only a teenager, but her biological daughter that was given up for adoption. When the judge had given her to option to say no, Olivia found herself never even questioning it in the back of her mind, she just accepted it.

Hearing the sink turn on in the bathroom Olivia made her way to the window shinning light into her bedroom and quickly pulled the curtains closed, she knew the sunlight wouldn't be helpful as to Carter getting sleep. It didn't help her very much when she was trying to sleep. Looking around the room Olivia then spotted her bags, she knew she wanted her to feel at home and there would need to be as much drawer space for her. Olivia then began to put most of the clothing that she had in drawers into the chest at the end of her bed.

In the bathroom stood in front of the sink and stared in the mirror, the water running as she rested her hand on the side of the sink. Tying her hair up into a small pony tail, "... This is happening. It's actually happening. I'm with the woman who nursed me for nine months, gave birth to me, and gave me up for adoption. Then on top of that she now has custody of me because of me having to get her stupid signature for the stupid attempt for emancipation that crumbled at my feet. Oh and on top of that, she's a detective. What the hell am I saying, she's a cop." Carter whispered to herself, looking down at the running water she bent over and used her hands to splash the cold water onto her face.

When Carter woke up this morning for court she hardly ever expected it to turn out this way, how could it possibly happen for her not to get emancipated and end up in the hands of a parental, not only a parental. Her Mother. It was hard to grasp the thought of this happening, but as long as she stood in the apartment she didn't really have a chance to be in denial. It would have to be reality for now. As the cold water hit her skin she closed her eyes and sighed feeling the child it sent down her spine, she regretted doing that now.

Standing up straight she looked back in the mirror and saw water dripping down her cheeks, she reached and grabbed a hand towel and wiped her face. She then dried her hands and eyed the door leading to the bedroom, though her eyes looked back at the window she could crawl out of, not telling what would be waiting for her on the other side. She could escape that way. Or go back in the room and actually accept Olivia.

Olivia closed the chest by the end of her bed and then heard the bathroom door open, she looked up at Carter who now had her hair up in a ponytail. "The drawers are empty for you when your ready to put your clothes in there. You can do that later if you want. Would you something to drink, I have water and..." She then remembered her fridge was empty from not being home, "... Expired milk." Liv whispered.

Carter had her arms crossed as she heard Olivia mention something to drink, she chuckled and nodded slowly, "I don't think I'll take expired milk, but water sounds nice." She leaned against the bathroom doorway and eyed the queen sized bed. Tempted to jump in and fall asleep, the craving of falling asleep sound more likable then the glass of water.

"I'll get that for you." Olivia said and gave a small making her way to the kitchen. It wasn't long before Olivia came back to the room with a glass of water in her hand, "Hope you don't mind not having-" She stopped herself seeing Carter was curled up in the bed, the sheets were still pulled up and the duvet folded back by the end of the bed, her arm was tucked under the pillow her head rested under. "... ice." Liv whispered. Slowly Olivia placed the glass of water by the bedside table and pulled the duvet around Carter. As she stood by the bedside Olivia smiled seeing Carter looked as she did when she were a newborn, so innocent and gentle looking. Reaching out to brush her hair away from her face Olivia let her fingers light brush over her hair, pushing it back away from her face.

The sound of her soft breathing coming from Cater caused Olivia to smile, she was sound asleep by the looks of it. Turning off the bathroom lights Olivia looked back at Carter, she looked so peaceful when she was asleep, she looked just as she did when she was a newborn, an angel dreaming peacefully. Carter pulled the duvet closer to her body and rested a small bundle under her chin, the comfort of the warm duvet surrounding her body. Olivia stood in the doorway and left the it cracked open.

Just as Olivia was going to open the file that Carter's caseworker had given her Olivia's phone went off, she sighed seeing it was her partner Nick Amaro calling her. She was on call this Sunday, she had forgotten about it. Answering the phone she said, "Hey. Enjoy that sandwich from last night?" She asked.

_"Wherever you got it give me the address because I skipped breakfast this morning." _Nick replied.

Olivia chuckled, "... I know it's far too sweet for you to call this early. Are we being called out?" She asked placing the file on the coffee table.

_"Yeah. I'm already outside waiting on you. Captain said it was important. By the way thanks for taking the car, I forgot you were doing that." _Nick smirked through the phone.

"Well, I forgot to tell you because I know better than to call before ten when you actually get to catch some sleep." Olivia was already getting up from the couch and grabbing her coat that was on the coat rack by the door. "I'll be down in a minute." She said before hanging up the phone and slipping it in the back pocket of her pant. As she slipped the coat on Olivia then remembered Carter who was asleep in her bedroom. Making her way to the counter she used a piece of unwanted mail and wrote a note for her, propping it up against the phone resting on the kitchen counter. It was her first day being home and now she was already leaving her home. She debated on whether or not leaving, but she knew she had to. It was her job as a Detective to do so.

Making her way to the door Olivia grabbed her keys and when she was outside the door, she locked both locks. Hoping her daughter would be asleep when she got back as well. She didn't want her thinking she left her on purpose, Olivia had yet to tell her more information about her job. Which she would need to inform her of when she got back. For now she would have to worry about the troubles leading her.

* * *

Carter groaned as she rolled over on her side, the light from the other room hitting her eyes causing her to pull the duvet over her eyes, not enjoying the feeling it gave her eyes the moment it hit her eyes. The feeling of sleep was not a bother to her any longer, she had slept deep for the past few hours. Or days it seemed like. The best she was laying on was like a soft cloud engulfing her, she didn't wish to move from it afraid the comfort might end. In foster care there weren't beds even remotely comfortable as this.

She could hear the sound of car horns from outside and she pushed the duvet off her legs, yawning she rubbed the back of her eyes and looked up at the ceiling there was a thin line of light running from the doorway to the bedroom wall. From what it seemed like the light was coming from a lamp in the living room. Slowly Carter sat up from the bed and she shuffled her feet against the carpet, when she made it to the door she pushed it open. When the light fully hit her eyes she blinked a few times before her eyes fixed on the living room. It was completely silent.

"... Olivia?" Carter called out and stepped out of the bedroom, her eyes landed on the paper leaning against the phone with writing on it. She quickly made her way to the counter leading into the kitchen and grabbed the piece of paper. From what it seemed it was a piece of mail, however it was written on the back of the paper.

'_Carter, _

_I'm sorry I wasn't able to be here when you woke up. _

_But I was called into work, I'm not positive when I will be getting home._

_ But do call me when you wake up. I will try to get home as soon as I can. _

_-Olivia.' _

There was a phone number on the bottom of the note causing her to reach for the house phone, she sighed heavily looked down at both items in her hand. She wasn't home. What a way to spend your first day. "What a peach." She whispered rolling her eyes. Throwing the letter on the counter she pushed it away from her and made her way to the bedroom, when she passed by the coffee table she saw her file laying there. Raising an eyebrow she stepped towards the table and bent down, the file was a good-sized file. It held many papers inside and information of her past, which only caused her to want to throw it out the window.

Kneeling down in front of the table she began to go through the papers, it was documents from the doctor of her illnesses of the past like chicken pox when she was four, her broken rib that happened when she was ten, the flu four years ago, and of course the documents of her heart surgeries. It seemed like it went on forever. Though when seeing a handprint wreath that she made when she was in second grad, it caused Carter to grow a small smile. Those weren't exactly happy memories, but the happiness she had in that year was more than expected.

Stretching her fingers out Carter chuckled at how much her hands had grown since then, she was only a little girl when she made this. She missed the easy classes that came with second grade, the sweet teacher who cared for her, though the means kids. She remembered that memory on the playground quite well and it was the first time Carter realized she could defend herself.

* * *

_The bell rang for dismissal and soon kids were seen running from the school doors, dropping their backpacks at the fence and making their way to the playground. Some racing to the swings, others running to the slides. The freedom of classes were causing the excitement of the children on the playground. Sitting under the jungle gym was seven year old Carter Benson, a book sitting in her lap as she read the words playing across the page. She was escaping the world around her in the book, knowing her foster mother wouldn't be coming for another thirty minutes. Until then she would read her assignments for class. _

_As she flipped to a next page a group of young girls were seen running past Carter, however when the blonde girl, named Claire noticed Carter she stopped and raised an eyebrow. "... Why are you still here, Carter? Waiting for your Mommy to come and pick you up. Oh wait, that's right. You don't have a mommy. She gave you up." She laughed shaking her head. _

_The other girls began to laugh along at Claire's comment to her. Another girl chimed in quickly after Claire, "Probably because you were ugly as a child too." _

_Carter looked up at the girls as they laughed. She placed her book down beside her and stood up from the ground, "My mommy might've given me up. But it's not because she didn't love me. My mom loves me and she's coming back for me!" Carter told her, glaring into the other young girls eyes. _

_Claire looked at Cater in shock, she shook her head smiling, "No! She's not coming back for you. That's why she left you. You are more stupid than I thought. You probably got that from your Mommy!" Claire grinned and made her way out of the jungle gym. _

_Watching her walk away Carter bent down and grabbed her book, she folded it between her arms and made her way out. Not wanting to get into a fight with another girl, she couldn't. She would get in trouble with not only the school, but her Foster parents. Attention from them would only be negative. Making her way to her to the fence Carter grabbed her bag and went to put her things when Claire and her friends ran up behind Carter. Grabbing her book bag Claire than smirked down at her, "Look at all these stupid books." She pulled out a few books that came from the library and threw them on the ground. _

_"I'm shocked you can even read." Claire's friends began to go through her bag as well, one of the girls pulled out the pencils she had in there and began to break them, then another one pulled out the notebook inside and ripped them out letting them fall on the grass. "Let's help you do your homework." one of the girls laughed and pulled out box of bandaids. "Why do you have bandaids?" She snapped. Turning the box over was a sticker on the box showing it was property of the school. "... Did you take these from the nurse? So you are a orphan and steal?" _

_The group of girls formed around Carter laughed and gasped as it was revealed. Carter sat on the grass with a frown on her face, it hurt seeing these girls being means to her for no reason. It wasn't fair when she only knew them for almost two weeks, it hurt her. Standing up she went to snatch her books from Claire's hand when Claire held her hand up in the air, being taller she had an advantage. "... Don't worry. Just ask Mommy to get you something new. Oh wait. You can't." She laughed dropping the books at Carter's feet as the other girls dropped the belongings as well turning to leave her. _

_Carter watched her walkaway and went to bend down to gather her things, however, seeing that smile on Claire's face caused more anger. She had hurt her long enough, she wouldn't let her push her around anymore. Standing up Carter dropped her things scooped up in her arms and stormed towards Claire, she took off running and tackled Claire. Once she was on the ground on top of her Carter threw punches in Claire's face, she could hear her screams and then began to pull on her blonde hair. Loud yelling could be heard around her however, it didn't cause her to stop. Though when she felt arms wrap around her stomach pulling her off Carter looked up seeing her teacher. _

_"... Carter Benson?" The teacher gasped seeing the young girl, she was one of the best students, it was a shock to see her hitting another student. She knew from now on she was in trouble. _

_Carter stared back at her teacher and shook her head, "She was being mean to me!" She said narrowing her eyes as she looked back at Claire. Carter was never violent, she knew what it was like to be hit from others, but she didn't like what this girl was saying any longer. From then on Claire never dared to say another word to Carter. With one punch it was done for._

* * *

"... 'Never hit another person', she said." Carter rolled her eyes, "Sometimes some people deserved to get slapped." She spat slamming the file shut and dropping it onto the coffee table. Leaning back into the couch Carter pushed that memory away from her mind, the time on the clock on the wall read it to be six a' clock in the afternoon. She slept for a good five hours. How long had Olivia been gone for it made her wonder, was it more than a few hours, could it be longer?

The note said to call her when she woke up, but what kept her from doing so were the doubts of her not answering. In a way it would break her heart for her to hear the voicemail. Getting up from the couch she went to walk to the bar and grab the phone, when her eyes landed on photos on the wall, most of them were of Olivia with others. One of them being a young twelve year old boy, he was smiling in the photo with Olivia, both of them looking overjoyed. The happiness in her Mother's eyes is what made her wonder who he was, he had to be someone close considering he was on her apartment wall.

Taking her gaze away from the picture Carter made her way over to the bar to grab the landline, she dialed the phone number left for her on the note. Once hearing the dial tone begin Carter immediately regretted calling. What if she didn't answer? What if she did answer? The doubts that invaded her mind were causing her head to spin, she took a deep breath trying to think of what to say. Telling herself to calm down as the dial tone rang in her ear.

Though the sound of clunking keys caused her to look up at the door, her eyes going straight to the doorknob which began to turn. Taking a few steps out from behind the bar Carter then watched as the door swung open and there stood Olivia. As their eyes met, the sound of Olivia's phone went off. Olivia had her briefcase of files and takeout in both of her hands, which caused her from answer the phone, however, seeing Carter with the landline to her apartment answered the question as to who was calling her.

Pressing the 'end' button Carter then looked back up at Olivia, noticing how she stubbled to balance just the two belongings in her hands, let alone the keys hanging of her fingers. "... Need any help?" Carter asked giving a small smile as she stepped forward. Holding her hand out to Olivia, she watched as Olivia placed the brown paper bag in her hand to take.

When Olivia held her hand out and Carter took the takeout bag, she couldn't help smile. It wasn't that she helped her with the bags, it was not only that but coming home and not having an empty apartment after a new case just opened up, the feeling of warmth from just meeting Carter's eyes. It was comfort to know. Stepping inside her apartment Olivia closed the door behind her with her foot, "Thank you." Liv said as she placed the briefcase down on the floor, letting it lean against the wall for stability.

Carter placed the bag on the kitchen counter, she then heard Olivia's footsteps behind her and a cabinet open up. Olivia then stood next to her with two plates and silverware on top, "I hope you like Chinese." Olivia said and began to take the food containers from the bag.

The smell of soy sauce and ginger filled the air and Carter chuckled, "I hope you don't mind me fighting you for it." She joked. Hearing a laugh from Olivia caused her to crack a small hidden smile. It wasn't before Olivia and Carter sat on the couch, a plate of fried rice and moo she pork served out for them, instead of using the chopsticks given to them they both used silverware.

It was silent while both of them picked and ate the food, the last the two recalled the time they something in their stomach was when yesterday. One would be jumping at the chance to grab a bite, but when hunger and nerves were mixed they never worked out well. Olivia's eyes fell onto the file that was on the coffee tale, she raised an eyebrow debating on whether or not to ask about it. The thing keeping her back was Carter's words of how she spoke of foster care, she didn't want to bring up a sensitive subject.

"Did you get called into work?" Carter asked and took a bite of fried rice. She couldn't stand much of the silence between the two, it was one way to spark up a conversation.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. Just another case. I will most likely be up all night reading over the files." Olivia sighed, her eyes avoiding to look over at her briefcase. Knowing if she did, she would want nothing more than to grab the files and go through them, but she wanted to get to know Carter more. "It's Monday tomorrow... I read you go to Marta Valle." Olivia placed her plate down on the coffee table. The school was known for being in a bad neighborhood as well as a bad reputation for violence and drugs.

Carter looked up at her and was shocked to hear she already knew her high school with foster parents they never cared much for it. Either Carter would go to school or wouldn't at all. "Yeah. I've been there for almost two years now. Luckily haven't had to transfer since my foster homes have been in that district for two years." She replied, taking another bite of her food.

"... I see." Olivia nodded, her eyes looking up to her daughter. "Tomorrow is Monday. It's quite a walk to get all the way across town from here. I wouldn't mind driving you." Liv said, she couldn't help but let her worry show of letting her daughter walk across town alone, it wasn't something she had ever dealt with. Of course she had doubts for other children, but her own child, this was a new feeling to worry about.

A laugh could be heard from Carter she looked up at Olivia from across the couch, "Your joking." She muttered under her breath, Carter rested the plate on the arm on the couch. Seeing Olivia looked confused at her words, she said, "Do you know how much crap I would get by being seen with a cop? Let alone being dropped off by a cop. Most of the people I go to school with don't get along with cops. I think I'll be fine."

Olivia knew from the moment her daughter let her explain it, how it would affect her. "I understand. But I can't let you walk across town without me." Liv began to contemplate in the back of her mind, remembering she was planning to get her transferred by tomorrow, but when the new case turned up it slipped her mind. "How bout you skip tomorrow and I will get your papers transferred. The high school that you would be going to has really great-"

"Would it be alright if I went tomorrow at least... To let me say goodbye to my friends that are there. If you want to drive me that's fine. I understand." Carter said standing up from the couch her plate in hand. Most of the take out food was eaten off her plate, after the stressful two days that were over her hunger finally took over.

"Oh... Yes, of course. I wouldn't want to just pull you away from friends." Olivia shook her head, not thinking of that factor. "It will be a hectic morning tomorrow. If you wanted to go shower before you go to bed, I will get you a towel if you'd like." Olivia got up from the couch as well and made her way to the linen closet, she heard Carter reply, 'Please and thank you.' as she opened the closet. Grabbing a bath towel and head wrap Olivia turned to see Carter staring at the pictures on her wall, the one picture she stared at was one of her and Calvin.

Running her fingers over the soft towel Olivia looked down, she knew most likely what Carter was thinking, 'who could this boy be?' She didn't blame her. After all she had given her only child up for adoption, then seeing a picture with another child hanging on the wall. "... I knew his Mother. His mother, she... was an addict and she gave me temporary custody of him. After a few months she let his grandparents take custody. He lives with them now." Olivia said, as she stood next to Carter.

Carter looked at Olivia with wide eyes that she had caught her staring. She kept her eyes down in shame and looked down at the empty plate in her hands. As Olivia explained it to her Carter understood why this picture was mounted on the wall, the boy meant something to Olivia, which showed that maybe she could care for Carter as well. "I see. Do you get to talk to him?" She asked, trying not to sound curious.

"Not as much, sadly." Olivia nodded and shrugged her shoulders, "Here you are." She reached out and took the plate from Carter's hands. "I'll take care of the dishes. Go ahead and shower, you gotta get some sleep."

The actions of Olivia caused Carter to look up, she gave a small smile. "Thank you. Not only for this, but for dinner and letting me sleep in your bed." She chuckled tucking the towel under her arm. "It's nice of you to let me stay-"

"No need for that, Carter. I just want you as comfortable as possible here. I know it will be a little difficult, along the lines of getting settled into a strange new place." Olivia's eyes watered as she spoke, but she held her tears back. Not wanting to cry. It may've been a little early to express this to Carter, but she wanted her to know the truth. "But I want you to know as well, I only wanted the best for you. As I still want the best for you. This... This is your home now." Olivia smiled gently looking back into Carter's eyes.

Carter kept her composure listening to Olivia speak, not wanting to show that she was more than overjoyed to hear this. She actually felt a sense of warmth, knowing how much Olivia seemed to care, it was obvious by looking in her eyes. Though the doubt kept telling her this was only a lie, why would Olivia want her? She gave her up sixteen years ago as a newborn, now they she had temporary custody. All anyone wanted was a healthy baby. Which Carter wasn't.

"Well. I'm gonna go shower." Carter made her way back to the bedroom and tried wrapping her brain around the whole picture.

Olivia's gaze traveled down as Carter left the room, hearing the footsteps enter the bathroom and the door close, she turned to place the plate in the sink. She began to question in the back of her mind, if it was a good time to speak that way. It was her first day being here and to Olivia, the day seemed to have been ruined by her speaking. She regretted saying what she said at this moment in time, but was it wasn't a lie. Word for word she meant it. With a blank look on her face Olivia placed the plate in the sink, her eyes not even looking down at the small mess in the kitchen of takeout boxes. She began to throw them away even when there was leftovers inside.

There was no blame for Carter reaction. For all Olivia knew, at that age she would've went about it the same way as well. It hurt, no doubt. Yet, she had to learn how to accept it. Olivia was now dealing with a sixteen year old girl who was alone most of her life, she could tell just by listening to her speak when they first met. Carter had to take care of herself sat a young age, as did Olivia when her Mother was hungover. In more ways than one, the separated Mother and Daughter would soon learn they were more alike than expected.

Standing under the running shower head Carter let the tears fall from her eyes, her emotions had been built up and hidden for too long now. There had to be a catch to this fantasy, there was always a catch when living with a family. Except this time it wasn't a foster family. It was Olivia Benson. The name given to her on her birth certificate, the name of her birth mother, and the name of a detective in unit sixteen of New York. Her life was being flipped upside down. From attempting to get emancipated and now living with her 'Mother', it didn't seem as if anything would be going the way she hoped. Tomorrow would be the day to let it all come apart.

* * *

"Olivia... Olivia."

The name kept repeating over and over again as she was in a deep sleep, though when feeling a gentle tap on her shoulder it caused Olivia's eyes to flutter open. Her eyesight was blurry at first from sleeping, she rubbed the back of her hands against her eyes and yawned. When opening her eyes for the second time, she looked up to see Carter kneeling down next to her by the couch. Olivia was confused as to why Carter had woken her up from slumber, though she didn't mind her doing so.

Small stack of files rested on top of Olivia's chest since she had fallen asleep last night reading over them. "Carter, sweetie. What's wrong?" Liv asked, her voice cracking as she sat up from the couch. The file slid into her lap, her eyes looked down at the wrist watch to see what time is was, once seeing it was six-thirty she understood. Realization hit Olivia once seeing Carter dressed and her backpack hanging over her shoulder. "I have to get you to school." She quickly pushed the blanket draped over her legs off.

A small smile appeared on Carter's lips as she spoke, "I'm sorry to wake you." She stood up on her toes and took a step back, following Olivia as she made her way to the bedroom to grab a change of clothes. "I remembered yesterday, you had said you wanted to drive me there, which you don't have to do. You went to bed at almost four A.M. You must-"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at her, she had a lot to learn if she thought Liv on two hours of sleep was difficult for her to handle. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. You should see some of my colleagues, freak of nature some of them. Four hours of sleep in the matter of three days. Wait, that was me." She frowned, realizing it happened only a few months ago. "Lack of sleep comes with the job, don't worry." She assured Carter before taking the clothes she grabbed from chest in her room. "I'll be just a minute." She called out and stepped into the bathroom.

Carter watched Olivia disappear into the bathroom of her bedroom and chuckled, maybe she wasn't so bad after all. Her stomach began to growl as she went to sit down on the couch. Sighing she made her way to the kitchen and grabbed the cereal box on top of the fridge, it being corn flakes. It wasn't long before she had a bowl and spoon set out in front of her, grabbing the milk from the fridge Carter opened the slit of the carton and tilted it over the bowl.

"Oh, Carter the milk is..." Olivia cut herself off once spotting the thick, chunky liquid come from the carton and into the bowl. "Bad." Liv finished her sentence as she stepped out from the bedroom. Dressed in black wide legged pants, a navy button up shirt and black wedged booties.

The heavy stench of expired milk filled the air as Carter poured it over the cereal, she turned her head away from glancing down at it. She looked up at Olivia and gave a small laugh. "I forgot you told me that last night. It slipped my mind. But you know... I'm not even hungry anymore. From the smell of this I might not even want milk again." She pushed the bowl and cartoon of milk away from her.

Olivia gave a small smile and nodded, "I'm sorry, I'll pick some up on the way back. As well as other groceries, would you like me to pick you up anything specific? I know how some people are picky with food." Liv grabbed her phone and keys that were resting on the bar in the kitchen.

Looking up at Olivia, Carter raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "Oh... Oh, I'm not picky. I'm quite simple. I could live off cereal if I wanted." She joked and made her way to the door.

"Well, any cereal that you favor?" Olivia asked, following behind her and grabbing her coat. Carter opened the front door and stepped outside, thinking back to some of her favorite cereals. She chuckled and shook her head, "Captain Crunch?" Carter suggested shrugging her shoulders.

As she locked the door Olivia couldn't help but smile, "Your lucky I'm not one of those parents who forbids to let her children eat sugar." Liv joked, then after she realized she called herself a 'Mother'. It was true, she was now a Mother to her child. "I'll get it for you. Anything else other than that? Drinks? Snacks?" She asked once more.

"A bag of chips and water does it for me." Carter replied, making her way down the hallway leading to the exit. "I adjust easily." She slipped her hands into her coat pockets to keep her warm.

Olivia nodded slowly and noticed that she had gotten that trait from her, Liv was the exact way. She adapted to her surroundings quite quickly, without question and without a fight. "Chips it is." Olivia smiled as they got to the car. The drive wasn't as bad to be expected, it was actually short compared to other drive times for other parents in the morning. Though they had small talk while driving. Talking over which subject Carter enjoyed most, History and Geography. Worst Subject, Chemistry. Which was no surprise to Liv, that was her worst and least favorite subject as well at that age.

When arriving to the school Olivia studied the school from the outside and sighed, "Would you like me to walk you in?" Liv asked, turning more protective by the look in her face. A few of the kids sitting on the steps of the high school outside, they eyed the car and raid an eyebrow. Cops weren't welcomed around this part of town, she knew that. But she wouldn't want her child walking out and about alone.

Carter looked at Olivia and shook her head, cracking a small smile, "No, No I think I can make it to class without getting lost too." She got out of the car and turned back with the car door open, "Thank you for the ride." She nodded and looked in Olivia's eyes. "Have a good day." Carter closed the door and made her way up the steps of the school.

Keeping her eyes on Carter, Olivia smiled hearing Carter say that, was a nice surprise to wake up to in the morning. Now all she needed was a warm cup of coffee and she would be happy for the day. After seeing the doors shut Olivia drove off, making her way back to her apartment to grab a few things before heading back to the precinct.

* * *

"Has anything come back from the fluids on Jane Doe's thighs?" Captain Cragen asked as they stood in his office, the file scattered across his desk. His eyes running over the strangulation marks on the girls neck, the pressure and force used on her neck was used by a left handed man. The age of the girl was fourteen, found and dumped behind an alley. Her prints weren't in the system and they had no name for her except 'Jane Doe'.

"Nah, it wasn't somebody in the system." Nick Amaro replied, "We've already tried handing out a picture of the girl around that part of town, most of everyone said they had never seen her before. Most likely the guy dumped her body there, knowing no one would know her face." He sighed holding up the picture of the dumpsite.

Cragen took the pictures from Nick and nodded, examining the surroundings of the body. "I see. Makes sense, but let's keeping working on finding the suspect. Olivia, have you found anything on the dental work, yet? I know you said you were going to send it out." He kept his gaze down until he didn't hear a reply, he looked up from the pictures.

Olivia sat at her desk arms folded resting on the desk, she looked down at the papers in front of her with a blank stare in her eyes. This was now the second day she had been acting this way. In the back of her mind Carter was all she could think of, what if she didn't take her to school at the right time, what if she wasn't free to pick her up from school? All the scenarios were in the back of her mind as she spoke.

"Liv... Liv." Cragen said for the fourth time, which is what snapped his detective from the lost look in her eyes.

"No, Captain. I haven't sent it out yet, I wasn't able to due to yesterday. I'm sorry, I'll get on it right now." She got up from her seat and grabbed the pictures to take down to the lab when Cragen stopped her from doing so.

"Olivia... My office, please." Cragen placed the file onto Amaro's desk and turned and made his way back to the office. He stood by the door and waited for Olivia to join him inside. Though the look she had on her face seemed to change, it still wasn't the problem at hand.

Nick watched as his partner got called into the office and it made him wander, what was happening with his partner. She had never acted this way before, nor was it even remotely close to how he had seen her. It had been since Saturday afternoon she had been this way, ever since the young girl visited them. Olivia had dealt with cases with young girls before, they were woking on one now, but this seemed completely different than usual. Giving Olivia a sympathetic smile as she stepped away from her desk Nick nodded, "Goodluck." He whispered.

When the door closed to the Captain's office before Olivia could explain Cragen began, "I got a call from social services." He said, "Young woman who claimed to be the case worker of a young girl named 'Carter Benson.' called and said she needed to verify with me, that I was not only your boss. But did I see fit that you raised a child in the line of work you are in." Donald now stood behind his desk as Olivia stood in the middle of the office, the blank look on her face seemed to be filled with now confusion. "Said also that you were in temporary custody of your daughter, whom you put up for adoption. Sixteen years ago."

Olivia didn't think that social services would be contacting her boss, they never mentioned that to Olivia when speaking to Elaine. Sighing heavily Olivia ran her fingers through her hair, "... Captain, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I've been meaning to tell you, it's just ever since I found it things have come up and then this new case. I've been trying to just wrap my head around the idea of having her, let alone taking care of her. It's been stressful."

Cragen let her explain the story to him, it was a short summary of just what had happened in the past two days. He was shocked to hear Olivia had given birth to a child, then given the child up. She always loved children, now she had a daughter who she gave birth to come back into her life. He waited until Olivia was done speaking and gave a small smile, "She's sounds like a good kid." He said, "And you sound like you are doing a decent job. Just know that she's probably just as scared as you are."

"... She's sixteen. She had a condition called Transient Tachypnea. I looked it up on the internet, some babies can be effected by it if they don't get medical help, which is why she wasn't adopted. No one wanted a baby that had complications such as that. I read the file, the doctors say it's a miracle that she came out normal." Olivia looked up at Cragen. The stress written all over her face and body language. "Is it normal to be doubtful? Doubtful that you won't be able to be there."

Cragen could see that Olivia was stressed from doing her daughter wrong, he didn't want that for one his best detectives. "Liv, you need to focus on her right now. If you don't you will only cause worse damage." He got up from his chair and made his way to the door, "Fin and Rollins will help Amaro with this case, as for now. Your off, go home and take care of things."

Before Olivia could protest Cragen cut her off. "Liv, your going home and that's an order." He said, "... You can explain the rest in a few days. Go and get your things, go home and rest." he stepped out of the office and wen to pull Rollins and Fin out of paperwork.

Leaving Olivia alone in the office she felt a sense of relief, knowing she could focus on Carter for the first coming week. Siting back in the chair she closed her eyes for a moment to let it sink in. It wasn't even a minute before Olivia's phone was going off. She groaned and pulled the phone from her pocket, her eyes wide open now. Seeing it was a number she didn't recognize Olivia answered anyway, "Hello?"

_"Hello. This is Nancy from Marta Valle High School. I calling in regards of Carter Benson. Is this Olivia Benson?" _

Once hearing it was Carter's school, she was fully awake. "Yes, this is she." She got up from the armchair and kept her phone against her ear by pressing it against her shoulder.

_"Ms. Benson, I was told that you are the new guardian of Carter Benson and was told to contact you." _

"Oh, if this is regarding the paper transfer, I called earlier this morning about it. Do you need an address or-"

_"No, Ms. Benson. It seems that Carter didn't show up for school today. All of her classes so far, she has seemed to be absent. As a secretary in the office I am to call the parents of that child."_

Olivia's head spun as she heard the lady on the other line speak. It had only been a day and Carter was now missing from school. "You must have a mistake you see, I dropped her off today. She... she can't be missing."

_"I'm sorry, Ms. Benson, but all of her classes so far she has been counted absent. Now is she sick or-" _

The moment she heard Nancy speak once more Olivia found herself running out of the Captain's office and to the elevator. Her heart racing in her chest, as she pressed the elevator button over and over again. If her daughter wasn't at school, then that meant she had to have skipped school. And if she skipped school and had planned to runaway, Olivia had no control of getting her back.

* * *

** A/N: Wow, that was a very long chapter, huh? Oh my gosh, I can't thank you all enough for liking, reviewing, following, and favoriting this story. It's unreal how much you all have made this story blossom. Thank you all so, so much! Hope you enjoyed. **


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I really can't thank all of you enough for all the reviews you have given me. And all the followers who have followed me. I'm overwhelmed with how many people have liked this story. Thank you so much! Enjoy the read!**_

* * *

The cold morning winter air wasn't enjoyable to walk her way further down town Bronks, her eyes wandering around her surroundings, her hands tucked tightly in her coat pocket to keep her as warm as possible. The winter frostbitten air was Carter's least favorite time of the year, fall was her favorite. It was hard to believe that fall was only a few weeks ago, she wished for Spring to arrive already. Her backpack was hanging off of her back and her books were still inside, she planned on going back to school in the afternoon, but for now she planned making her way to the corner of a cheap apartment building around the corner.

Doubts in the back of mind began to swarm as she knew the school would call social services about her missing, she didn't care knowing she would go back and get her school work from her teachers. She had done this countless times before, now her world was being flipped upside down in a way she couldn't control. How was she going to explain this to them?

Walking up to the door Carter saw someone stepping out and she quickly ran in behind him, not wanting to be buzzed up. After eight flights of stairs Carter came to a stop in front of the apartment number C 83. She gently knocked on the door and waited for the person to answer, nervously biting her bottom lip as she looked behind her to make sure no one followed. Only imagining the trouble she could get into for skipping, however, the teachers at the school didn't care if they skipped a class. She knew that.

Raising her hand to knock once more the door then opened, standing there was a teenage boy around her age, though he didn't look to be a teenager. A few tattoos ran up his arm and his hair was tangled. A small smile growing as he looked into the familiar eyes and pulled her inside, "Where the hell have you been?" He asked and reached out to take her hand, which she quickly responded by taking his hand. Pulling her inside the apartment.

As she stepped inside he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in gently kissing her lips. Carter responded by placing her arms around his neck, hearing the door close Carter then dropped her backpack to the floor, however their reunion was interrupted by the sound of a voice.

"Where have you been? You've been missing for three days. I even went to the damn school to see where you were." Pulling away from the kiss Carter turned to see Jade standing a few feet away, her friend didn't look to happy to see her. Which wasn't surprising by how everything played out.

Turning to face her Carter sighed, "It's... It's a really long story, Jade. You probably wouldn't believe me." She began to unbutton her coat and noticed that papers sat on the bed behind Jade. Jade was planning to do the same as Carter get emancipated, after all the hell they went through together, it was only right to attempt to stick together through al the years. "Going over your paperwork?"

Jade's light blue eyes looked over her friend and noted how she was ignoring her question. "Yeah. My court date is this week." She crossed her arms over her chest, "You didn't answer my question. Where have you been?" Her tone turned cold as she spoke.

"... We've been worried sick, Carter. We almost called the cops, I mean we tried getting ahold of your social worker, but she wouldn't answer her phone. That doesn't exactly give us much of a lead." Ian; the male who greeted her, stepped towards Carter and shook his head, "Then you show up here a day after your court date, hell we were supposed to celebrate you getting emancipated, we even bought-"

Carter quickly cut her boyfriend off saying, "I didn't get emancipated."

The silence in the room fell over them and caused shock for the both of them. Both of them now taken back, out of her and Jade's chances of getting emancipated Carter was the one most likely to have her chances in court, it could've been as easily as possible. Knowing her references, grades, and finical problems were better. "There's something I need to tell you both..."

* * *

It had been already three hours since Carter had been missing, only causing Olivia to feel as if they were the longest three hours of her life. The fear of knowing that her daughter could be missing for running away was only causing knots in her stomach. Olivia arrived to the school about an hour after she received the phone call, it took longer than expected thanks to the morning traffic. But Liv was doing everything possible to find her daughter. Stepping into the school hallway she showed her badge to the security at the door, automatically they let her inside once getting a glance at her badge. She asked for directions to the office and he quickly lead her that way.

Soon she was standing in the office with the receptionist. "Hello I'm Detective Olivia Benson. I got a call this morning saying a Carter Benson was missing from school." She showed the badge to the receptionist. As she did so, the woman behind the desk looked up from her magazine and raised an eyebrow, it was rather normal to have detectives come into the school asking for a student.

"Yes. And what exactly is your relationship to this student. Standard procedure." The woman sounded rather annoyed at Olivia's presence.

Olivia noted the rather irritated look in her eyes and placed her badge back on her hip. "She's my daughter. Now, do you have any idea as to where she could've gone?" Olivia asked placing her hands on her hips. "Her friends anything at all?"

"... Detective, we are a five A high school. The only times I interact with students is when they are sent here for times like this, or acting up in class. Which I like to keep that way." The woman sighed grabbing a binder that was siting along the desk, "However, your child's name has been brought to my attention. One of her friends, who is known for her... _behavior_, has been here asking the same thing." She opened the binder and began to flip through the pages. "... She isn't here today. But I can tell you her name and address of where she is staying."

At first Olivia was taken back by her, at knowing her daughter was missing and couldn't find her, now this woman didn't want to help. Then when she pulled the binder out mentioning a friend Olivia quickly took her phone out, noting down the girls name and address. Reading it back to her Olivia asked, "Jade Ryder? Apartment building on 149 Stanton St. Apartment C 83."

Once seeing the woman nod Olivia nodded, "Thank you." She quickly made her way back outside of the school hallway. Luckily she made it outside by the time the bell rang and students crowded the halls. The apartment building was only a few blocks away, she knew it would be a short walk, but just in case she drove. If her daughter was there which she hoped for, she would be able to drive her home from there, or drive after her if... she ran.

This sick feeling in her stomach was something Olivia couldn't explain, knowing her daughter was missing and she couldn't get a hold of her was unexplainable. Olivia never dealt with this type of situation. Which only made her question her chances at being a 'good' Mother. Was it even possible at this point, she had already skipped school and her not know of it. She had dealt with these kind of cases through all her years of being a detective, a child going missing. Only imagining what that parent who was baring that, now she was in the opposite position.

* * *

"You can't be serious. This is the woman who gave you up the first time, how can the judge just put you back into her custody. Just like that." Jade's words stung Carter, her reminding her that Olivia gave her up. "Even better, she's a cop. A sex cop. Watches over other kids, but gave you up as if you were a damn handbag. Makes a lot of sense, huh?"

Carter sat on the bed that was resting on the floor, Ian sat next to her with hand hand resting on her knee. Jade was venting about the situation. Which Carter didn't blame her. They stood in the room connected to the main bedroom. The apartment was hardly close to the size of Olivia's. It had a small kitchenette in the corner, a bathroom that was rather small, and then three large window in both bedrooms. Both queen sized beds were resting on the floor, soft blankets covering them and a few pillows. Posters covered the wall that they used to coverup the old chipping paint job.

Jade shook her head and turned to Carter and Ian, "I can't believe this is happening. Carter, I ran away from foster care. Do you understand that I could get in serious trouble? I mean the judge is never going to approve me now."

Standing up from the bed Carter now stood a few feet away from Jade, her eyes looking straight into hers. "Jade... wherever I am, you know, you can still get emancipated. So I'm with my birth Mom, that doesn't stop you from getting away from that crappy place. Maybe... maybe, I can help. I can give you the money, I can even ask Olivia for help-"

"I'm not taking your money!" Jade's blue eyes rolled at hearing her friends options, "C'mon, Carter. You and I, both know I'm not going to pass. If they never approved you, they'll never approve me. You were the one with the better grades, better references. All the money saved. Your bank account was the key to the judge thinking we could afford a place."

Ian quickly intervened, "Jade, give her a rest. It's not like she could control what was happening." He stood next to Carter and shrugged his shoulders, "You're not the only person who-"

"No, Ian. She said it herself." Jade turned to glare at Wyatt, then she turned to look back at Carter. "You didn't want this! Don't you remember we said we were going to get out of that hell hole and live our life. Together. Remember," She quickly took Carter's hands in hers, "Together!" Jade gave a gentle squeeze and smile, "We finally have our chance, we can't ruin it now. Tell the judge that she's unfit, whatever, and that you don't want to be with her."

Her friends words caused a small smile, she remembered them at the age of seven, promising that they would leave foster care together. Live together, graduate together. All of it. Together. The smile faded once hearing her mention telling the judge Olivia was unfit, "I... I can't do that, Jade. She's not unfit, not at all. She showed up to my court hearing, that's the only reason she got custody of me. She offered to cosign on my apartment. I mean... Do you really think she wouldn't care after going through all this?"

Quickly Jade let her hands release her grip on Carter's hands. A frown growing as she heard her reply, "Carter, this... this woman gave you up. Gave you up and didn't look back. Don't you understand that? How could it be possible for her to care when she did such a thing? It's not." Jade quickly turned to Ian and laughed dryly, "When she finally decides to come _back_ to us, let me know. Until then I'm going to grab us some lunch." She grabbed her jacket and quickly stormed out of the room, leaving to the sound of the slam of the door.

Carter narrowed her eyes watching jade leave, her jaw clenched at her attitude towards this all. Carter turned to face Ian, "Says the girl who can't stomach this. Like it's affecting her so badly, I'm the one who is dealing with all this change." She said, "It's not like I wanted this. I met her and she signed the papers. Next thing I knew, I was in her apartment and she had custody. She looks at me as if I'm the one in the wrong." Rolling her eyes Carter cracked her knuckles to keep her calm.

Stepping closer to Carter, Ian wrapped his arms around her, embracing her as they were alone. He knew the tension between Jade and Carter was going to break when she brought back lunch, but for now he needed to comfort Carter. "Calm down... It's done. You talked it out." He whispered, his arms tightening around her.

Resting her head on his chest Carter closed her eyes and took in the scent of his shirt, "... I... I can't just leave, Ian. It wouldn't be right. I know that. She's really nice, Ian." She whispered into his shirt.

Ian sighed placing his chin on top of her head and shook his head, "I'm sure she is. Carter... Do you really think she cares. I mean, she did give you up." He whispered. He knew that being truthful with her would be the only way to reason with her at a time like this.

Staying quiet Cater knew he was right, but Olivia told her that she wished for a better life for her, though it obviously didn't happen. Olivia seemed to make herself believe that it was the truth. Closing her eyes Carter nodded, "I know." She pulled away from his tight embrace and looked up into his eyes. Her stomach turning, slightly at the fact she hadn't eaten since the night before and the spoiled milk was still in the back of mind. "I... I should get back to school. I've already missed seven days, I don't need anymore." She quickly turned and grabbed her backpack.

Ian was shocked to hear her say that. Carter was a good student, however, she mostly missed school because she skipped. Seeing her make her way towards the door Ian quickly reached out and took her wrist, pulling her back. "I haven't seen you in almost a week. The last thing I wish to do is see you go." He stroked her cheek, "C'mon. Stay."

His light blue eyes always caused her to melt, he knew that. Which is why he would stare into her eyes and keep her gaze. "I can't stay, Ian." She smiled, "You know that... Which is why you won't break eye contact with me." Her smile grew into a smirk. He leaned in closer causing her to lean forward, their lips meeting causing her to began to pull on his shirt.

It wasn't long before Carter was laying on the bed with him on top of her, her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands running gown her sides. Both of their shirts tangled up at the side of the bed. As he reached down to unbutton her jeans Carter quickly broke the kiss and pushed herself up, "Ian... I really should get going." She whispered, reaching over the side of the bed to grab her shirt.

Watching his girlfriend scramble to get her top on, caused Ian to raise an eyebrow. It seemed every time he got close to having sex, she would immediately pull away from him. He didn't know why. Running his fingers through his hair, Ian asked, "... Carter. I... I don't want to pressure you. It's not right. But every time we get to that, you push me away. It just makes me wonder, is it me **_or_** is it the fact that you want to wait. We never speak about it."

"Ian, it's not you. I just need to get going before the dismissal bell." Carter replied fixing her shirt onto her body, "I will be back tomorrow. Don't doubt me either." She grabbed her coat and slipped it on. As she stood up from the bed there was a knock on the door, a woman's voice was heard on the other side, but neither Ian or Carter could hear from the other room. Ian stood up from the bed and made his way to the door, as he did so he was greeted by a badge in his face.

Olivia Benson stood at the door her badge showing as she was greeted by a shirtless guy, raising an eyebrow Olivia shook her head. "Excuse me, I'm looking for Jade Ryder. Is she here?" She checked the apartment number once more, making sure this was the right apartment. By the looks of the outside and the inside of the apartment she was getting a glance of, it wasn't exactly a safe environment.

"No... She's not. I'm sorry, what exactly are you here for?" Ian asked crossing his arms over his chest, he knew that cops were looking for Jade. Since she ran from Foster Care, but he wasn't used to house calls. "What business do you have with Jade?"

The cold tone of his voice was something Olivia should've been used to. But for now she would ignore it. "My name is Detective Olivia Benson. I'm looking for my daughter, Carter Benson. It seems that Jade and her are friends. Do you know where her whereabouts could be at this time?" She asked placing her badge back onto her hip.

The look of shock on his face gave reassurance that he knew exactly where Carter was. And the answer became true when seeing Carter step out into the doorway, her eyes widened as she now saw Olivia standing there. The same look was seen on Olivia's face as well, her daughter's shirt was halfway on and the young man had his removed. The idea of what was going on beforehand caused silence, the state of shock showing on both of them.

Carter was the firs to break the silence, her hands quickly began to pull on her shirt, covering the rest of her middle that was revealed. Her hands shook by her sides, she quickly gave a small laugh. "Olivia... How... How did you-"

"I got a called earlier from school, informing me on how you were absent from class. I went to the school. They said I may be able to find you here, a friend of yours lived here." Olivia replied cutting Carter off quickly, her eyes now turning to the young man standing next to Carter. "I'm only... _assuming_ your not Jade Ryder." Her tone rather cold as her eyes narrowed.

Carter looked down in embarrassment and clenched her jaw, slightly annoyed by Olivia's tone. She knew this may've been her birth mother, but she didn't have the right to act this way towards Ian. "No. No, this he isn't." She quickly snapped back, "I was just leaving, so don't worry about me staying for too long." Carter turned away from Olivia and grabbed her coat and backpack. As she turned to Ian to say goodbye, she kept noticing Olivia's stare of disturbance on the both of them, instead of a kiss goodbye, Carter looked in his eyes. "I'll see you later." She whispered and walked out the doorway.

Ian sighed heavily seeing Carter make her way out of the apartment, the look her birth Mother was sending wasn't one he wished to endure much longer. He knew better than to snap at a cop, he had his experience before. Biting his tongue he gave a grimace smile seeing Olivia follow Carter, he watched them both until they made their way down the stairwell. He turned slamming the door behind him, as he made his way to the bedroom he noticed a sticky note on the wall. He picked it up and read a number, '_House phone #.' _

Once outside Carter went to make her way back to school, only to have Olivia quickly stop her. "Carter, I'm sorry. But you're going to have to come with me." Her expression softening, Olivia knew she calm herself rather than acting on her emotions for this, which was telling her to yell and scream, but at the same time. Liv knew better. Scaring her away now wasn't an option. "I can't let you go back to that school knowing you skipped class so easily."

Carter quickly turned to Olivia and raised an eyebrow, "Why? I enjoy school, why are you making me miss it?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"... That's a good question to ask yourself, Carter. Why did you skip this morning?" Olivia asked stepping closer. Carter was a good ways away when she turned to her, Olivia knew better than to just stand behind and let her have a chance at running from her. "And I don't mean to turn it around you, but that wasn't the right thing to do, Carter."

Carter had never been questioned like this, she was meeting her match, the person her Mother. Which she wasn't ready for. "I had to come see my friends, I haven't talked to them for three days. They didn't know all what had happened this weekend." She replied, "Which is why Jade wasn't there when you got to the apartment. When I told her she left, she doesn't like... why am I even telling you this?" Carter began to laugh to herself. She found herself doing it again, opening up to Olivia at the wrong time, she knew better.

Olivia watched as Carter explained herself, though as she began to speak of Jade and how she was informing her on what had happened, it stung. Olivia knew this was going to be hard for Carter to accept, but it seemed like it would be a long while. "You could've asked me to take you." She said, "But instead you skipped school and was planning on hiding it from me... Which is why you are coming home with me." She took her car keys out of her coat pocket and motioned for Carter to follow.

"And what if I don't want to go with you?" She asked, watching Olivia as she made her way to her car, the frustration towards Olivia was growing worse. She could hardly stand that she was being put in this position now, not having a choice nor a chance to leave. As she looked around she then began to think, 'I have a choice to runaway, the real question is... do I want to?' Her answer. She didn't wish to stomach it.

Unlocking the car Olivia turned back to look at Carter who stood there, starring at her with those familiar eyes of hers. "Then I'll stay, Carter. Because I'm not going to leave you here as if you don't matter. I don't care how long it takes or how difficult it will be to convince you that I care. I won't make the same mistake I made seventeen years ago by giving up. You can choose to leave, but don't think for a second I won't be right behind you, because I will be." Olivia quickly unlocked the car and sighed, "... I'm not leaving you."

Listening to Olivia's statement sent a state of disbelief on Carter's features. Part of her didn't want to believe her, but the other part knew she was telling the truth. Carter was good at being able to tell when someone was lying, Olivia seemed far from a liar. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes which she quickly wiped away and crossed her arms over her chest, "Can... can we get something to eat. Because I checked your cabinets and fridge and the only thing that it is collecting is dust." She said making her way over to Olivia.

A sense of relief was washed over Olivia as she watched Carter make her way to the passenger side door. Her smile glowing as she slipped off her backpack and threw it in the backseat, "No. I think expired milk will do you just fine." Olivia joked, seeing Carter roll her eyes coughed her to chuckle. "That is if you can stomach it, of course."

"I can still smell it." Carter's nose wrinkled and she made a fake gagging noise, causing Liv to laugh seeing her face.

* * *

"I don't think I've carried this many bags in... ever." Carter said, kicking the door open to the apartment. In her hands were three large brown bags, two in both hands the third squashed between the other two. Slowly she maneuvered her way to the kitchen bar and placed the bags down onto the kitchen counter. She shook her head hearing Olivia closing the door, "You're lucky you have an elevator." Reaching into the paper bags Carter began to remove the groceries from the bag placing them out on the counter in front of her.

Olivia used her foot to close the door and turned placing her three bags down as well, "Yeah, well that hasn't always been there. You would've loved it about five years ago. Seven flights of stairs." She smirked, removing the items from the bags.

Carter rolled her eyes and grabbed a bag of chips that was popping out of one of the paper bags Liv had, "Yeah. Well the only good thing about stairs is that they are safe when a fire is alarmed." She yanked open the potato chips and leaned against the counter. "That and they give you nice legs."

Hearing Carter open the bag of chips Liv looked up, narrowing her eyes. "I already ordered dinner and hear you are doing to spoil your appetite." She reached over and smirked gesturing for her to give them back. "C'mon. Another fifteen minutes of hunger won't hurt you."

"I didn't... I didn't have lunch, okay? And you took me grocery shopping hungry. That's never a good idea." Carter reluctantly placed the bag of chips in Liv's hands and turned away. "That pizza better be good." She muttered under her breath.

It wasn't long before all the groceries were put away and there was a knock at the door. Olivia grabbed the tip for the pizza deliverer and made her way to the door, looking through the peep hole, she checked making sure it was him. Then unlocking the door she paid him his tip and asked Carter to come and grab the pizza from her as she paid the amount.

As Carter rounded the corner she took the pizza only for the delivery guy to catch a glimpse of her, he glared and pointed, "Hey! Your that snatcher who took pizzas from me a few weeks ago." He snapped, "I wouldn't forget you, not after that little stunt you pulled. Real nice, real dramatic. You and your little friend owe me thirty bucks." He snapped, stepping forward making his way into Olivia's apartment.

The aggravation quickly showing to Olivia, she stepped in between him and Carter. "You might want to rethink that, buddy. NYPD officer." She watched him roll his eyes and when he was about to finish, he saw the badge on her hip. He quickly shut his mouth, but kept glaring at Carter who stood behind her, taking a step back out of Liv's apartment. "Give me money and I'll forget it ever happened."

Olivia could hardly believe the nerve of this guy, the smug smirk on his face caused her to smile, "I suggest you go, before I change my mind and charge you with attempted breaking and entering. Because you did step into my apartment."

"What about her?" His voice raised as he pointed to Carter, "She stole the money I was supposed to earn that night. How bout you lock her up too? Cause that ain't fair. She'll probably steal something again, little bitch." He spat.

Once hearing the man called her daughter that Olivia stepped towards him, thought staying in the doorway of her apartment. "If you ever call _my_ daughter that name again, it will be the last time you deliver any pizza in this city. And believe me... McDonalds won't want you after I report you to the manager." She stepped back into the apartment and gave a rather forced smile. "Have a good night, Charles." She read his name tag and slammed the door in his face.

This sense of protection came over her, one she had never endured before. Seeing that man come towards Carter as if he was going to raise a hand to her, caused her to step in front and protect her. It was the only thing she could do. Locking the door Olivia turned to see Carter standing there, a disturbed expression on her face as she held the pizza box. "... Carter, Carter." Liv said, trying to get her to look back.

Yet, Carter didn't break her glance from the door behind Liv, it was almost as if she was staring through her. Stepping closer to her daughter Olivia raised a hand and placed a gentle touch on her hand. "Carter... Carter, it's-" She wasn't ready for what was to happen next.

At feeling the touch of Olivia's hand Carter jumped back, dropping the pizza on the floor as she shook her head. "Don't, please, don't I'm sorry, I won't..." tears began to run down her cheeks as she was in a state of fear. Backing further away Carter stopped once feeling her back hit the wall and she slid down to the floor curling up into a ball, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I won't do it again." She began to shake in fear, her wide eyes were starring past Olivia.

Olivia's eyes widened as well seeing this happen, right away she knew exactly what was going on. She was having a panic attack, not only that, but visions of an attack it seemed like. "Carter... Carter... it's me. It's me, Olivia." She called out to her, "I'm not going to hurt you. You... You can trust me, okay?" Liv took a small step over the pizza box and held her hands up. Showing her that no harm would come to her. "Look at me. Look at me, I won't hurt you. I promise you." She watched as Carter's eyes looked up into her own and she slowly knelt down to her level, "Can you hear me?" She asked Carter, once receiving a nod, Olivia began to crawl. "I'm going to crawl to you now. Okay?"

Another small nod was seen from Carter as she watched Olivia make her way towards her, her body shook uncontrollably and her heart raced in her chest, in the back of her mind she still pictured that man coming towards her. Instead of seeing him as a delivery guy, she saw him as _that_ person. She could feel her tears rolling off her cheek onto her shirt, "... I-I-I'm sorry." She muttered to Olivia.

Olivia gently placed her hand on Carter's upper arm, once seeing her react calmly to the touch Liv was going to sit down, when she felt Carter's arms wrap around her. Though in this embrace Olivia could feel Carter shaking, her arms tighten around Liv drawing herself close to her. "No... No don't be sorry." She whispered.

Carter rested her head onto Olivia's shoulder, her shaking began to slowly ware off and soon she was resting her head against Olivia's shoulder. Her soft sobs were all that could be heard in the apartment. Taking a few deep breaths Carter loosened her grip on Olivia, but didn't break the hug. She began to take shallow breaths indicating she was growing tired, Olivia took note of that.

"Why don't we get you into bed?" Olivia asked, Carter gave a weak whisper, 'yes'. Olivia helped Carter get up from the floor and began to make their way to the bedroom. Olivia helped her into bed and removed her shoes. Carter rested her head under a pillow and closed her eyes, quickly falling asleep. Placing the duvet cover over her body, Olivia looked down at the young girl who was falling asleep. She knew exactly what signs of this was, but she didn't want to believe it. Dealing with victims was a completely different experience, rather than having it be her own child. Olivia knew the truth behind this panic attack was from abuse, but from where was the answer.

Making her way to the door Olivia went to turn the light off when she heard, "Can... Can you stay with me?" Carter was sat up from the bed, her heavy eyes looking directly at Olivia standing in the doorway. "Please." She begged and began to blink in attempt to keep her eyes open. At hearing her voice ask that Olivia immediately nodded and gave a small smile, "Of course."

Carter rested back into bed as Olivia crawled onto the other side, she placed her arm under the pillow her head was resting under and watched as Carter began to fall asleep. Soft snores began to escape her lips indicating that she was asleep. Some parents would leave once seeing their child was asleep, but Olivia found herself watching Carter, not wanting to leave her side after what had just happened. The cries and the fear from Carter still burned into the back of her mind, not being able to ear erase that memory. As a detective in Special Victims Olivia Benson was used to seeing children with abuse, it was never seeing even after all the cases she has dealt with. This was a different case, her own daughter was a victim.

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_**A/N: Well, there's a little bit of history from Carter. More to the story than we will know for now, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while it's been a crazy few weeks. But I promise I will update more now, please, **_**_please tell me if you liked it. If so, let me know. Thank you all! _**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: I really hoped you liked the last chapter, here we are. Chapter four. Please enjoy and read on. _**

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The morning sun shined through the bedroom window, the sound of a city morning outside caused Olivia to stir, she rolled over onto her side to ignore the sun hitting her eyes, wanting to fall back asleep. When running her hand over the right side of the bed, but when feeling the soft sheets run along her fingers she quickly opened her eyes to see the the right side of bed was empty. Carter. Then the sound of the shower quickly brought her to come to terms with that her daughter was in the shower. Sighing heavily Olivia got herself out of bed and made her way to the bathroom door, she could hear humming on the other side of the door.

Gently tapping her knuckles on the door Olivia said, "Carter? Are you almost done?" She asked. Hearing the shower turn off on the other side, she then heard Carter reply back, "Yeah. I'm sorry. Do you need to get in?"

"Oh, no. Take your time. Just making sure you were alright." Olivia stepped back away from the door and made her way to the kitchen, already craving the coffee for her morning start. As she placed in the filter for the coffee maker last nights memories came back, Carter's panic attack, the fear in her eyes, and Carter asking for Olivia to stay with her. Olivia wanted answers as to what had happened in the past that caused Carter to have a panic attack, knowing her daughter had been abused in someway, by someones hand.

The sound of the coffee maker going off caused Olivia to turn her attention back to the smell of the fresh coffee aroma. Grabbing a coffee mug from the cabinet Olivia then poured her coffee into the mug, she could smell the coffee and immediately her mind went back to Carter. She leaned against the kitchen counter and brought the mug to her lips, taking a few sips of the warm morning drink.

Realization hit her that it was already a Friday, which meant a school day for Carter. But after last nights events Olivia knew she didn't wish to send Carter to class, and the fact that she had all week off of work, Liv had a better chance of getting the answers she wanted. Only wanting to help Carter as best as she could. Taking a few more sips of her coffee, Olivia heard the door open to the bathroom and turned to see Carter stepping out of the bedroom, her damp hair pulled back into a loose bun.

"I didn't set my alarm. I'm sorry. I know it's already past eight-thirty." Carter crossed her arms over her chest and stepped into the living room. "I just crashed last night and don't remember even falling-"

"It's alright, a day off wouldn't hurt that much. And on Monday you should be heading to the school around the block," Olivia smiled gently stepping out of the kitchen with her coffee mug in hand, "Speaking of last night, Carter... I need to ask you something, about everything that happened." She stepped into the living room as Carter stood behind the couch, she noted Carter's facial expression form to confusion.

"... I'm sorry. What about last night? The fact that I didn't get to bed on time or because of yesterday's events?" Carter asked, her arms crossing across her chest. She didn't quite understand what this meant.

Olivia had a feeling that she would react this way, what she didn't expect were Carter's eyes to look directly into hers, and feel as if she was telling the truth. Placing her coffee mug down on the coffee table Olivia sighed heavily, looking into her daughters matching eyes. "Cater, last night when the pizza guy arrived, he attempted to come at you. Claiming that you and a friend stole money from him in the past. I told him to leave after that. Then when I tried speaking to you ... you had a panic attack." She spoke calmly not wanting to frighten her in anyway.

Carter stood there with a blank expression, starring back at Olivia. In her mind she attempted to replay last nights events, the ones that Olivia claimed to have happened. However, it failed. Her mind instead went blank and the last thing she recalled was putting away groceries with Olivia, then waking up in bed curled up into Olivia's side. Looking away from Olivia's gaze Carter glanced down at the floor, feeling her head spin and her stomach turn. "..." She stood silent not knowing how to reply. Would she even believe her?

Olivia knew that look, but it was causing her to be confused. She didn't answer her, which made her question if she was avoiding her question or truly not having recognition over last nights events. Olivia took small steps towards Carter, stopping when she stood in front of her, her gaze still not looking up to meet her own. "Do you remember anything at all, Carter?" She asked, "You can tell me the truth, I won't get mad or upset, I promise."

"No... I don't." Carter quickly replied, not longing to talk about this much longer. She was growing rather impatient at Olivia asking once more, "The last thing I remember was helping you with groceries. I must've gone back to your room and laid down, knowing me I probably fell asleep." She reassured Olivia, her eyes meeting with Olivia's once more, a small smile now appearing on her lips. "I can fall asleep just about anywhere."

Truth. Carter had to have been telling the truth, Olivia could feel in her gut. She didn't know why, some victims could play her like a fiddle at times. However, her daughter wasn't lying at this point and time. Simply nodding her head Liv gave a small smile, "I understand. As could I," She chuckled, "... Would you like to get breakfast? Actually I could make something, I'm not the best cook, but scrambled eggs and sausage shouldn't be too difficult."

Carter gave a smile laugh and nodded, "Sounds appetizing. I should go clean up my mess in the bathroom." Carter turned and made her way to the bedroom. She could hear Olivia make her way in the kitchen and grab pots and pans, she wasn't used to this. Breakfast in the morning, actually cooked food. Stepping into the bathroom Carter quietly closed the door, as she began to pick up her mess. It couldn't be true, could it?

Watching Carter leave Olivia shook her head, she knew herself that some panic attacks could easily be forgotten. Her mind protecting itself from any harm, easily it could be blocked. Question was, could she ever truly remember any of it. Olivia picked up her coffee mug and made her way into the kitchen, she wanted more than anything to know the truth behind all of this, but Olivia knew better. She dealt with this on a daily basis, she trained herself for time such as this. Gathering everything she needed for a breakfast Olivia tried pushing that away from her mind, for now.

Her mind playing tricks on her. Keeping her from the memories of the past again, protecting her. It had to be true, why would Olivia lie? As she thought back on the past she recalled it happening before, having a situation such as this then not remembering it. With Jade. She hardly remembered that night, it was still such a blur. The crowds, the hands running down her sides, then she woke up in the apartment holding onto Jade for dear life. When Jade questioned her about last nights events, Carter quickly said she didn't remember. Leaving both of them lost.

Placing her hands on the side of the sink Carter braced herself up against it, hoping she would faint. At this point it felt as if she could. "No... No." She whispered, the small tears now forming into the corner of her eyes. Why couldn't she remember those times? It made no sense to her, to anyone else it looked as if she was lying, but to her. It was the truth. "It's happening again." She whispered. This 'panic attack' was causing her to believe that it was a possibility, this has happened before. What's to say it wouldn't now?

Wiping her tears away Carter pushed herself up and quickly folded the towel she used and placed it on the rack, finishing with her clothes going in the dirty clothes hamper that Olivia insisted she used. Looking in the mirror one last time Carter wiped her tears away. Not wanting any evidence to Olivia that she was, it would only make it worse.

It wasn't long before the two were sitting on the couch with a plate of breakfast in their hands, Olivia didn't know how she could possibly bring this subject up lightly. The boyfriend and friend that she was living with, Olivia wanted to know them. They were complete strangers to her, but to Carter they were obviously important people in her life.

"Your friend... Jade, who I've yet to meet. She called, left a voicemail on the house phone." Olivia then eyed the phone that was on the counter, she knew Carter would be happy to hear her friend was wanting to speak with her.

Carter had a piece of toast in her mouth, when she turned to glance at Olivia. Inside Carter wanted to race over to the phone and call back, but she would have to wait until breakfast was over with. "She did?" The small smile grew as she saw Olivia nod in response. "Well, I will call her back, after this." She continued to eat.

"She seems very caring. I was taken back when the young guy answered the door, I knew it couldn't have possibly been him when I had a female description. Who is he?" Olivia asked, taking a sip of her coffee, trying not to sound overprotective or overbearing. But it was obvious.

Picking at the eggs Carter shrugged her shoulders, "... You mean Ian?" Carter asked, looking over her shoulder at Olivia who sat next to her. "Yeah, he has a name. And no rap sheet, if that's what you're getting at. He's gotten into trouble in the past, but no. He's not a bad guy." She placed her egg filled plate on the coffee table and turned to Olivia. "A lot of people think he is. Judge him by the tattoos and the way he carries himself. But that's the way he was raised, I can't say much more because it's not for me to tell."

Olivia felt bad for wanting a last name now for this kid, making sure his story checked out. Wanting mostly all of his information and as a cop, she could possibly have her chance. As for Jade, she would have to trust Carter's word, until she met her that is. "I see..." Olivia tried her best not wanting to dig in on him. She didn't know whether or not to ask more questions about this 'Ian.'

"... I forgot to mention. I don't like eggs very much." Carter laughed starring at the plate she had on the table, then at Olivia's which was cleared clean. She ate the sausage and toast, but left the eggs.

Olivia laughed as well and shook her head, "No wonder you've been poking at them." She said, it slipped her mind to think Carter didn't like them and was picking at the food on her plate for a reason, yet eating everything else. "No more eggs then, in the morning that is. They are allowed in many few things, like cake."

Carter smirked resting her head on the back of the couch, "And brownies, we can forget brownies." She pointed out. Olivia laughed along with Carter, and for the first time the two were actually coming across as if they were getting along.

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The weekend had come and gone, now the Monday was here. New school, new days. Which sadly to Carter that meant starting all over, she had yet to call Jade back with the fear of getting yelled at over the phone. Instead she waited until Jade would be gone for work, then would call Ian. Who she had spoken to three times this weekend, which was when Olivia would be showering. For Olivia and Carter, it would be normal one minute, then different the next. It began to drive Carter sometimes to insanity, but she dealt with it.

The smell of coffee caused Carter to step out of the bedroom, dressed and ready for school. "Please, please, tell me I can have some. I'm too tired to even walk to the elevator at this point." She yawned, rubbing the back of her eyes she stood in front of the kitchen counter and was surprised to see a travel mug waiting for her there. "Oh, why thank you."

Olivia who stood in the kitchen pouring herself her own mug of coffee laughed, she looked over her shoulder at Carter. "You and me both." Olivia made her way to the door, "C'mon. We gotta get you there by seven-thirty and it's already seven-fifteen." She took a small sip from her travel mug and grabbed her keys. Carter followed behind her, and with the door locked they both made their way to the elevator and were out of the apartment complex within two minutes.

Walking down the streets of Manhattan the sound of the morning traffic greeted them, the sun was shinning and no birds chirping. Rather little dogs yapping as they went on their morning walks. Carter didn't feel like walking at all this morning, but she was lucky for the school to be only five blocks away. They arrived five minutes early and with little time to spare.

"Do you want me to walk you to the office?" Olivia asked, she handed Carter her class schedules and watched as students raced inside.

Tucking the schedule under her arm Carter shook her head, "I think I can handle it, but thank you." She tried not adding sarcasm to her voice. "I should get going. New school, new people. Should be fun." Her tone now turning rather sarcastic. Giving Liv a small smile Carter stepped away and made her way inside. She didn't know whether or not to thank her.

To say she was the least bit nervous was an understatement, she was rather terrified. Knowing the last time she took her daughter to school, she skipped. Hoping she wouldn't be doing that today. Watching as she stepped inside Olivia then made her ways back to the apartment sipping on her coffee as she did so.

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Olivia sipped on the last of her coffee and leaned against the railing in the elevator, feeling a small sigh of relief knowing her daughter would be taken care of, the school had security. Liv checked that twice. It was difficult for her to go through this, but yet, Liv had such a joy with having Carter back into her life. It now meant her daughter would be in her life, this would change her life. She remembered the joy of holding her newborn daughter, now seeing her as a teenager, she could hardly wrap her mind around the idea.

The elevator doors opened and Olivia stepped out, making her way into the hallway Olivia tapped her fingers against the warm thermos, as she got to her apartment Olivia unlocked the door.

"Olivia Benson?" A woman's voice called out.

At the sound of her name Olivia looked up to her right, standing down the hall stood a woman with a file of papers in one arm and briefcase in the other. Eyeing the woman closely Olivia slowly nodded, "Yes. That's me. I'm sorry, who are you?" She asked.

Taking a few steps closer the woman held her hand out to Olivia, "I'm Jane. I'm the social worker of Carter Bensons. I know Carter had another social worker, but considering I've known Carter since she was three. I decided to handle this case, which means checking on the living arrangements that Carter will be living in." Jane gestured to the open doorway into Olivia's apartment.

Olivia quickly placed her hand into the other woman's once hearing who she was, she smiled gently. "Jane. It's nice to meet you." She shook the other woman's hand. Then seeing her eyes look over her shoulder at the open door Olivia quickly nodded, "Of course. I understand," Olivia opened the door further and held it open for Jane.

Jane stepped inside and was gracious that Olivia was being kind enough to do so, some of the adopted parents rather yelled and didn't like having a random check up. Looking around her apartment Jane noted everything she saw, taking out her notepad at the sight of blankets and pillows on the couch, "Where exactly is Carter sleeping?" asked Jane.

"... Oh no, this is my doing. I've been sleeping here," Olivia quickly place the thermos on the coffee table and reached down towards the couch, beginning to fold up the blankets left from last night. "Most of the time I do sleep on the couch, which is why Carter has been taking my bed and room. And just to make it clear, I've been talking to my landlord. There is an apartment on the next floor I've been looking at. It has two bedrooms."

Jane wrote on her notepad and nodded looking up at Olivia, "I see..." She made her way into the kitchen and began to look around, opening the cabinets and fridge. Noting everything she found wrong and right. "Are you planning on going grocery shopping anytime soon, when Carter would stay at a '_pleasant_' family home, she quite enjoyed snacks. I can give you a list, if you'd like?"

Olivia looked up at Jane as she roamed around her kitchen and slowly nodded, "I would love that, she didn't give me much of a list when I ask." She replied. She watched Jane close the fridge and make her way towards the bedroom, eyeing the photos on the wall as well. Olivia followed behind, wanting to know if anything was wrong in anyway. Jane would so often write down on her notepad and raise an eyebrow here and there, which only made Olivia question her own skills as of now.

Standing in the bathroom Jane began to go through a few of the cabinets, she looked up at Olivia who stood in the doorway, "Do you have toiletries for Carter? I'm sure you now she will need them," Jane asked, closing the cabinets and eye the window in the bathroom. She began to gently push on to see if it was easy to open.

"Of course. It's just been a hectic few days, I haven't had the chance to think. I will make sure to pick them up as well." Olivia made every little mental note of all that was being asked, knowing if she wanted this to work this check in with the social worker would have to pass. "I know it's small for the two of us, but I'm trying my best to get us moved up the next floor."

Glancing over her shoulder at Olivia, Jane nodded. "The fact that you are even taking her in, well. That's a miracle in itself." She gave Olivia a small smile, "I've never heard of a case such as this. A lot of teens in Foster Care nowadays are attempting emancipation. Unheard of a parent getting custody of their biological child they'd given up." Jane chuckled and made her way past Olivia.

Olivia was reminded everyday of that painful day, giving the newborn baby girl to the nurse. Only remembering how beautiful she was, her her tiny fingers wrapped around hers. Even the smallest cry was what Olivia cherished. Now, that baby girl she had given up, was a teenager. The childhood she missed. "Anything else you would like to see, Jane?"

Placing her briefcase on the coffee table Jane pulled out the file that belonged to Carter, she sighed heavily and looked up at Olivia. "I will need to ask a couple of questions if that is alright? That is if you don't have work today..." She looked back up at Olivia.

"My Captain has given me a week off, to get Carter settled and myself. I believe you called him before." Olivia replied, she watched as Jane went through a file and nodded. "Well, if we are going to be here for a while, would you like some coffee or tea?"

"... Coffee will be just fine." Jane replied, sitting down on the armchair across the couch and began to go through the papers in the file.

As Olivia stepped into the kitchen to start up the coffee machine once again, she looked back over her shoulder at Jane who began to flip through the file she had on her lap. It made her question what the questions would be on this check in visit. Olivia wasn't afraid of questions, she had nothing to hide, but she prayed in the back of her mind that it would be nothing of the past. Carter's Father that is. If there was one thing Olivia didn't like to speak of, it was him. Now having Carter in her life, she knew she would be asked about him.

Seemed that the question Olivia was dreading would be coming quicker than she thought. Instead, it would be asked by the one woman who would be approving of Olivia as Carter's Mother.

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_ A/N: It's been a very long time, I know. I'm sorry, please forgive me. But i'm already working on the next chapter as I write this out. I hope you are all doing well and thank you for being patient. Please, please, review. They make me so happy! _


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Thank you all so much. It means the world to see I have new followers. Please enjoy this new chapter, I'm enjoying writing. I can't believe I have fifty followers, this is overwhelming. Thank you all so much. Now... read on. **_

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Being the new girl came with the traits of being stared at, gawked at, whispered about, and mostly everyone in the school was wanting to know who the new girl was. Most of their students coming from wealthy side of Manhattan, should be interesting for Carter. Who only grew up in and out of foster homes, the nicest gift she received was a beaded bracelet, when she was seven. Yet, these students wore charm bracelets, gold and silver. Rather annoying in class, hearing those rattling. Carter wanted to snatch them off their wrist and throw them out the window.

Finding a partner in lab was interesting, she found one who was a senior like her, he was rather quiet and stared. And the only student with no partner. Now Carter was joined with him, but made things more interesting. Teachers were nice, some of them. Her English teacher was rather a snot, even for her to say it wasn't much. The class she enjoyed out of all History and Geography. She had met a few nice and kinda people during her time here, but no one she believe she could trust. Especially when they wouldn't understand.

Standing in the lunch line Carter picked out the most appealing meal, which seemed to be a sandwich and chips. Paying for it she then decided to eat out on the school steps, Seniors were allowed off campus for lunch. Unwrapping the meal Carter took a bite and eyed the other looking at her, not caring if they stared, they had been doing so all day.

This would only lasts a few more months, then her torture would be over. Watching as people ran up and down the steps Carter grunted, growing annoyed at their actions. Rolling her eyes Carter then began to go over her reading assignments, but the sound of someone calling her name kept her distracted. Looking up from her lunch Carter saw Jade and Ian standing at the entrance gates, she smiled placing her food on the steps and darting towards them.

"How... how did you find me?" She asked smiling, she ran into Ian's open arms and he held her close. "I only just talked to you last night. How did you find it already?" Carter laughed, pushing away quickly to give Jade a hug. It now felt as if she had a sense of security around her, she had her closest friends by her side.

"Please, this is a public school for the ritzy people of Manhattan. How could I have not heard of it?" Jade joked, tugging on her friends coat. However, this coat wasn't a coat Carter would normally have. Jade made note of that, her 'Mother' must've bought it.

Carter rolled her eyes, she could feel the other seniors sitting on the steps eyeing them. "Yeah, well, needless to say I'm not well liked. Seeing as I don't carry a designer anything on my arm." She sighed heavily, turning to Ian she smirked. "You would love it here, making fun of the rich and stuck up."

Ian wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her close, "Can't say I wouldn't want to pass it up." He whispered, "What were you having for lunch? Sushi?"

Jade then chimed in with a grin on her face, "No, no. More like steak and lobster." She looked over at the seniors giving them disapproving stares. "Better yet, kale. Now I understand why rich people are never happy."

Carter immediately felt at ease. They were joking along with her, though neither of them knew what she was dealing with as of now. "You have no idea..." She muttered crossing her arms over her chest. The only thing that looked edible at lunch was a sandwich, which is what she picked.

"Well, seeing as your on break. How bout we go get some chinese takeout? I know you must be craving for it." Jade suggested; knowing Carter since she was seven Jade knew Carter better than she knew herself. Judging by the look of relief Carter had when spotting them, Jade could tell she wanted out. "Sweet and Sour chicken is calling your name."

At the offer Carter began to feel guilt, she had promised Olivia she wouldn't skip school. "I don't know. I don't think I can leave campus for lunch. Plus, I only have thirty-five more minutes, and I know they can cook it if we call. But... I promised I wouldn't skip." Her eyes looked to Jade and then up into Ian's. Both of them taken back by her reply.

"Is this the Carter we know? Because two weeks ago, you would've jumped at this type of chance." Ian looked into Carter's eyes. "C'mon. You know you want to, and you won't get caught. Security is already taking care of the problem we left." He chuckled glancing at Jade.

"And we've already ordered the food, it's right down the street..." Jade cut in, not being able to contain her small smirk that was growing.

Carter was confused as to what they meant. "Problem you left?" She raised an eyebrow, "What... what did you two do?"

As the two were about to answer there was a loud 'popping' sound coming from the dumpsters on the side of the building, smoke could be seen coming from them as the security in the front of the school went to investigate Jade and Ian pulled Carter away from the school, laughing and running from the scene. It was obvious that they were simple chinese firecrackers, no harm would be done, but a distraction simple at it's finest.

Standing in front of the restaurant Carter turned to Ian and Jade who were laughing, "Are... are you serious?" She asked, "That's not funny. Do you have any idea how much trouble that could cause? I promised Olivia that this wouldn't happen." Carter felt guilty for following, but both of them had a grip on her arm. There wasn't much of a way of running in the other direction.

Ian looked at his girlfriend and tried catching his own breath, "Woah, chill out. It was a harmless prank, you're not getting in any trouble. Besides since when have you ever cared about trouble? Or what _Olivia_ has thought?" Ian shrugged his shoulders. "C'mon Carter. Loosen up,"

"Harmless, sure. But don't you think it will look wrong to any of them that I ran when you both did? And I just happen to be the new student who is the odd one out?!" Carter glared back at Jade, "this is a great gesture, taking me out to eat after all that happened. But, I have to head back." Carter took her arm out of Ian's grip and turned making her way back to the school.

Jade watched her friend snap at Ian and clenched her jaw, "Just because you have a family now, doesn't mean you can just forget about us. Gosh, don't you see it. Almost two weeks with that woman and you've already changed," Jade watched as Carter came to a stop a few feet away, she then continued. "Just because you share the same DNA doesn't make up for what she did. Giving you up, what makes you think she won't do it again? It happened with two families already, Carter. What's to say it won't happen here?"

Ian heard Jade bring up Carter's past and immediately stopped her, "Jade, cut it out." He shoved past her and glared, "Whenever you do that, you hit below the damn belt." He spat, "Which as best friend you shouldn't do." He turned to glance at Carter and saw that she was gone. He knew it was because of Jade's harsh words, "Dammit, Jade! When will you just admit it. You're jealous of Carter, the fact that her Mother is back and that she actually wants a relationship with her. I can't blame you. I would want the same damn thing... but we can't help that. But the more you act like a coldhearted bitch, the more your gonna loose the only family you got." Ian quickly took off running towards the school to find Carter.

* * *

"Captain Cragen. He speaks very highly of you, tells me you're great with kids and would make an excellent Mother." Jane read through the papers and sipped on the coffee given to her. "And judging by your working with children in the past, I couldn't agree more." She placed her hands in her lap along with her notepad. "He's told me how children have always adored you, that's very sweet."

Olivia sat on the couch with her second coffee for the day in her lap, she smiled gently and chuckled. "I've always had a love for children, there is no denying that." She informed her. Hearing that Cragen had spoken so kindly of her made her smile more, she always knew Cragen though highly of her, but he never told her to her himself.

"And I assume your gun will be kept out of reach from Carter at all times?" Jane asked, tapping her pen against her notepad.

Olivia quickly replied, not wanting any trouble. "Oh yes, of course. I've already had a talk with her about it."

Jane looked back down at the file she had in her lap and raised an eyebrow, "Though, I will have to ask a few questions. Along the lines of Carter's other family. Her Father's side." She already knew by the look on Olivia's face that this would be a touchy subject. Jane deliberated on whether or not to continue, but she needed the questions answered. "... That is if you don't mind answering the questions. If not then we won't."

From the moment she accepted the interview Olivia had this gut wrenching feeling in her stomach, knowing he would be brought up from the past. Now she had to stomach it, talking about him. Which she hadn't spoken about this man since he left, but yet he would come to mind. Even if it was a small memory or a smile. She had to do this for Carter, she knew that. The hardest part would be having herself think back to the past she shared. "No, no... Go on, I will answer anything you have to ask." She replied, her voice almost a whisper as she answered.

"... Alright." Jane flipped open the file once more and looked down at the documents, "Warren Maxwell; the Father of Carter Benson, is he not?" She asked. When seeing Olivia give a simple nod she continued on, "Did he long to stay in her life when you told him of the pregnancy?" She asked.

_Answer the question, _Olivia told herself. "No. He showed no interest. I told him when I was five weeks, he immediately said he wanted nothing to do with me and Carter after that. I didn't hear from him."

"Did he ever attempt to contact you, even after you had Carter?" Jane asked resting her arms on the armrest and looked up at Olivia.

Olivia shook her head, "No. I didn't inform him of doctor appointments or anything for that matter. He made it clear, he didn't want a child." She sighed, "When my water broke, I was the one to get myself to the hospital. I thought about calling him, to see if he would even like to meet her. But I never did."

Jane began to write things down and listened intently to all of what Olivia had to say. "Yet, his name is on the birth certificate. You gave him that right, in terms of his parental rights... when they _were_ there." She muttered the last of it.

Catching the end of Jane's statement Olivia raised an eyebrow; confused by her words, what did she mean by speaking in past tense of Warren's rights. The only way he could lose his rights were if he signed the papers as Olivia attempted. "I'm sorry?" Olivia asked, "What exactly did you mean by 'were there?' He... He would have to sign over his rights. If I'm correct." She placed her coffee mug on the coffee table.

"You are. As a legal parent the only way to give up your rights is to sign them over, you need two witnesses present and a judge to sign it over, which in this case... I can't tell you. I'm not at liberty to discuss." Jane quickly closed her file and shook her head, "Now, I am allowed to tell you this. Yes, he has signed over his rights. He is no longer Carter's legal father, his name will stay on the birth certificate and of course he will always share DNA with her."

Olivia sat on the couch dumbfounded, she could hardly stomach the coffee resting in her stomach. He had terminated all rights he had with Carter and yet he had said he wanted nothing to do with her before she was born, to Olivia that confused her. How could it be possible for him to even have knowledge of her being put up for adoption, not only that but he had to have known what social worker to contact. "... I see."

Jane saw the look of confusion written on Olivia's face and sighed heavily, "Now for Carter... How are you liking having her here? It must be different. After not having a child that you'd given up. You now have a teenage girl to take care of." She placed the files in her briefcase and shrugged her shoulders. "Tell me about it. The experience."

Olivia sat silent for a minute, forgetting about the information she received of her ex. Smiling down at the floor as she thought of the past two weeks. "It's... been a transition. And I don't mean that in a bad way, whatsoever. Carter has been a challenge, when I mean challenge I mean. She hides her emotions, not wanting to bother anyone or show anyone her true emotions. Which I understood, I was the exact same way. Still am." Olivia chuckled, rolling her eyes. "All I wish for her is to help her, let her know that I truly want to be there for her. That I'm not going anywhere."

It was all true. Liv had never felt this way about anyone, she knew why. She had never had a connection with someone, this was her child. A child she cared and nurtured for nine months. "I want to be a Mother to her. She is part of my life now, which means she is my life. Carter is my daughter. I'll do what's in my power to make sure she is comfortable and happy, I only hope that she is. I can't force her. I'm not best at cooking, but she seems to be pretty good at it. This weekend she made boxed mac and cheese, which is better than I can say I've made. Without burning." Olivia smiled at the image of seeing Carter standing in the kitchen laughing to herself at hearing Olivia's horror stories of cooking.

"I know giving her time to get comfortable with me is the key in all of this. I don't want her to feel as if I'm doing this out of guilt or anything of the sort, I want her to know that I'm doing this because she's my daughter. I made the mistake of giving her up when she was a child, believing she would be sent to a good home. It's only been two weeks and I've already decided that..." Olivia paused for a minute and found herself laughing. The thought causing pure joy. "Jane, is it possible for me to gain custody of her?"

As Jane sat there in front of Olivia listening to her speak of having Carter in her life, explaining how she was finding having a teenager in her life. Jane had heard it all before, a woman or man spilling their feelings to her, but by now Jane knew how to read people. With this case Jane found herself believing every word Olivia said, she truly seemed to have the best interest of Carter in her heart. Which was something Jane had never seen in Carter's case.

Hearing Olivia's question Jane's eyes widened and she chuckled, "Well... It's possible. Not impossible, but possible. You would have to be approved for the home inspection, which you have been in my eyes. Next would be making sure Carter's well being is taken care of, as such school, enrollment in any extracurricular activities, and so on. Then there's the legal status which wouldn't take long at all. Carter's quite simple since she's a warrant of the state." Jane replied.

"Then I wish to do that." Olivia smiled, holding back the small tears that gained in her eyes. Olivia saw that the coffee was almost gone from Jane's mug and she quickly stood up, "Would you care for more coffee, I wouldn't mind I have more in the pot."

Jane stood up and began to put the rest of her papers away, "Oh no, I'm quite fine. This should keep me up until this afternoon." She chuckled, reaching out to grab her coat she turned to Olivia and sighed, "I have to get going I have an appointment at two thirty in Brooklyn, I should get going before school let's out."

Olivia watched as Jane began to gather her things, she glanced over at the clock on the wall and she could hardly believe the time. It was half past one. "I understand, traffic hours would be lovely with the mini vans." Olivia joked, as she walked Jane out she opened the door for her when Jane turned and made eye contact with Olivia.

"It's nice to finally see someone actually caring for Carter. After all the foster homes she's stayed at God knows she needs a good one and with you as her Mother, she's pretty darn lucky to have you." Jane reached into the side of her coat and pulled out a card, handing it to Olivia, "That is my card, has my number, email address. If you need to contact me." She sent one more smile Olivia's way before making her way down the hall to the elevators.

Olivia stood in the doorway holding the card in her hands, she chuckled, "Usually that's the opposite way around." She joked as she closed the door to her apartment. The sound of the ringer of her phone going off was all she heard as she reached into her back pocket of her jeans and answered, "Benson?"

_"Don't tell me you've already had lunch, because if you haven't good. And I'm down the block with a hot lunch," _ Nick Amaro asked, as he walked down the streets with a brown paper bag in one arm and his phone to his ear in the other.

"No, you're in luck, I haven't. And what are you doing bringing me a hot lunch, should you be doing that with Fin or Rollins?" Olivia asked, picking up the coffee mugs left from the meeting.

"_I was in the neighborhood, there's a place around here that has pretty decent Italian to go. And they had already snuck in three trips to the vending machine this morning to grab a bite to eat. They were full by the time I asked." _ Nick joked, turning the corner now on his partners street.

"Oh well, why doesn't that surprise me." Olivia smirked, placing the coffee mugs in the sink and rinsing them out before placing them in the drier rack. "You're lucky I'm in the mood for Italian." She joked before walking into the living room to put the blankets away. "I'll see you soon then." She hung up the the phone and went to the bathroom.

It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door, Olivia looked through the peeps hole before answering and unlocked the door, "You didn't have to bring me lunch, I've only been missing half a week." She said, leaving the door wide open as Nick let himself in and closed and locked the door behind him.

"It's been weird not seeing you in the precinct. I can't say that this wasn't an idea before hand." Nick gave a small smile before placing the bag of food on the coffee table, "Let's hope the garlic bread isn't crushed."

* * *

Two empty plates of pasta later and Olivia and Nick were left sitting on the couch, Nick explaining cases that were on their desk still, unsolved. Amaro wanting answers as two where his partner was, which wasn't much of a surprise to Liv when she knew she would do the same. Olivia secretly eyed the clock to her right before hearing Nick once more try and attempt to gain her attention.

"Sorry... I'm just trying to keep track of time." Olivia said, grabbing the to go boxes and tossing them in the empty brown bag. It was obvious Olivia was a little sidetracked and not meaning to be.

Nick followed suit throwing away the rest of the trash, he watched Olivia began to go through the kitchen and make herself tea. Noting how when she opened the cupboards there was food inside, then the file sitting on the counter was a question too. "Everything okay, Liv?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow as he stood in the kitchen with Olivia as she waited for the water to boil.

Olivia placed the tea bag in a mug and turned to Nick, she debated on telling her partner the truth, she knew they would all have to know at sometime. Running her fingers through her hair Olivia sighed, "Yeah... Yeah. As you already know, there's a reason I've had to take this week off..." Olivia paused for a few seconds before continuing, "I don't know if you remember. But there was a teenage girl who came to me two weeks ago, needing my signature for something. There's a reason she needed my specifically."

Nick remembered the girl, she seemed nervous about even being there. Which didn't surprise him, most victims were, but this didn't seem to be a victim. Nothing more to the story, although from the way Olivia was explaining it there seemed to be. "Alright..."

"In nineteen-ninety-six... I had a daughter. Who I'd given up for adoption, the father wasn't involved I was about to graduate and there wasn't much of an option for me. I knew it wouldn't be about me anymore, which is why I gave her up. I didn't have the right to raise a child without the right income. I was told she would be going into a good home, she would be adopted quickly since she was a newborn. That wasn't the case, which is why she came to me two weeks ago. She was trying to get emancipated and needed my help. And when I did that, the judge asked me if I would like temporary custody of her..."

Nick found himself stunned, he could hardly believe that Olivia had a daughter, let alone given the child up for adoption, she loved children. But part of him understood, it was a safe choice on Olivia's part. Now Olivia had taken time off from work to take care of the child that was hers, Nick shook his head and leaned against the counter. "You agreed." He finished her sentence for her.

"... Yeah." Olivia replied, nodding her head as she slipped her hands into her pockets of her jeans. "I did. Her name is Carter, she's seventeen years old and has been through eight foster homes since the age of ten." She reached out and grabbed the file that was sitting on the counter, she turned and handed it to Amaro. "When she was three, she had a breathing condition. Which is the reason why she was never adopted."

Nick accepted the file from Olivia and began to flip through them, he was taken back by all the statements Olivia had told him, it seemed like a nightmare for any parent to watch. Let alone not know your child would be going through all of that, alone. "She's better now. Right?"

"From the doctor reports in there she is." Olivia looked at the time on her phone, she sighed. "Look I don't have to pick her up from school for another hour. Think we can stop by the precinct and try to convince Cragen that I'm okay to come back?" She turned off the burner and placed aside the boiling water.

Placing the file down on the counter Nick shook his head, "No.. No, I wouldn't mind." He grabbed his coat as they both made their way out. She locked the door behind her and sighed heavily, as they stood in the elevator going down Nick chuckled, "Next thing I know you'll be going to a PTA meeting, baking cookies for her class." He joked with his partner.

"Very funny, and she's seventeen. Not five." Olivia rolled her eyes, resting her hands against the railing of the elevator. She missed her partner being around, his humor that was. "And PTA meetings have already passed... I hope." She looked down at her waist to see she had forgotten her badge. She knew it would be fine, but she would have to remember to grab it on her way back.

"... You liking it so far... being a parent?" Nick asked, glancing at Olivia. He already knew the answer to that, he could see the glow in her eyes from the moment the subject of Carter came up. Though he didn't expect the answer he got. Nick Amaro wouldn't have expected anything less from Olivia Benson.

Olivia stared down at the floor shaking her head, she laughed at Nick's question. "I love it. It's difficult sometimes, especially since I'm having to deal with a teenager, but the challenges are what supposed to build that relationship. Aren't they?"

Nick smirked as he heard the elevator '_ding_' as the doors opened. "Sound like a natural already."

* * *

"We're sorry. How many times do we have to say it for you to forgive us?" Jade called out to Carter as they walked down the street. They waited for her to get out of school until they could finally dress the situation at hand, they followed her back to Olivia's and when they made it to the building Carter finally turned to the both of them and addressed them.

"What you did could've gotten me in serious trouble. I'm not allowed to leave campus, you both knew that." Carter explained glaring at the both of them. "Don't act like you didn't know that either, Jade. I told Ian the night before." She glanced at Jade and then at Ian. "I'm so pissed at you, you knew better. I know you have a hard time with all of this, but this was the wrong choice, don't you think?"

Ian quickly cut in before it got any worse, "Look, can't we just both agree that it was wrong. The last thing we need is both of you fighting, agreed?" Ian asked, looking at both girls. Jade and Carter both looked at one another and they nodded, "Agreed..." they both whispered before smirking. The two of them shared a hug and laughed rolling their eyes.

"How bout you invite us in your rich _Mommy's_ apartment?" Jade asked, nudging her friend before making her way to the door. "C'mon. You couldn't possibly get in trouble for this. We are in her home and not across town."

Carter looked down at the keys in her hand and debated on doing so, these were her friends, and what would be the harm in doing so. "Fine, but you have to be gone later. I have homework and not the easy kind." She sighed, unlocking the door and letting them inside. One short elevator ride later and they were inside Olivia's apartment.

Jade laughed looking around the place, "Wow... this is a nice place. It's in Manhattan and has a decent view, quite impeccable take out. Face it, you're living the sweet life." She joked with her friend as she sat back against the couch and lounged.

Carter placed her bag by the door and closed the door behind her, "She hasn't come out from hearing us, so I'm guessing she went out." She watched Ian walk towards the pictures on the wall and examine them, soon Jade got up from the couch and picked up one of the vases from the coffee table.

"How much you wanna bet this costs more than all of us put combined?" Jade asked, laughing as she tossed it up in the air jokingly before catching it.

"Funny." Carter quickly made her way towards Jade and took the vase out of her friends hand and placed it back. Jade rolled her eyes and began to explore the kitchen. Carter saw Ian look intently at the photos and she walked up behind him, explaining who everyone was to him, she didn't want him thinking Olivia was a bad person based on their first meeting.

"Healthy fruits, cereal, cold leftovers, frozen food. This woman really must care." Jade said, grabbing an apple from the fridge before taking a bite from it. Spotting something on the counter she smirked, "Is this what I think it is?" She grabbed it and placed the apple down on the counter. "Look at this, a real police badge." She laughed clipping it to her hip, "Am I a cop now?"

Ian and Carter turned their attention to Jade and Carter's eyes widened, "Jade, put it back. That's Olivia's badge." She held her hand out to her friend hoping she would give it back.

Jade raised an eyebrow and glance at Ian, "We all know this is Ian's favorite uniform, don't we?" She joked, tossing it to Ian above Carter's head.

Catching it Ian couldn't help but laugh as he looked down at the badge in his hand. "The real deal here. You would think it would be heavier." He said, walking around the couch to avoid Carter who chased after him. "Badge number 4015. Think I can pass for you Mom, Carter?" He tossed it over her head again towards Jade.

Catching it Jade shook her head, "No, but maybe I could. I've always wanted to be a cop, I think I would be a good one." She placed it back on her hip. This was all a joke to Jade and Ian, yet again.

"Impersonating one, funny. That would get you behind bars." Carter went to reach for it when Jade grabbed it and held it behind her back, "Jade, stop it. It's not funny anymore." The tone in her voice almost matching her Mother's she noted. The stern tone in her voice.

Jade kept the badge behind her back and raised an eyebrow. "Would you sell me out to your Mom, Carter? Your cop mom." She shook her head and turned placing the badge back on the counter, "Nice to know that you would believe I would do that."

Seeing her place the badge back Carter narrowed her eyes, "With you Jade I don't know what to believe. You've been my best friend for years and now I've never felt more distant from you. Why is that?" She glared. "I just want things to go back to normal. Is that possible?"

"Not if you are worrying about what this woman thinks of you twenty four seven." Jade snapped at her friend, "All you have cared about is Olivia. Not wanting to do anything that gets Olivia in trouble, not wanting to look bad in Olivia's eyes. I'm sick of it. Since when have you cared what you look like in anyone's eyes but your own?"

"Since I actually have a shot of having a Mother." Carter yelled out in frustration and turned away, she saw Ian standing a few feet behind her, not knowing what to do to stop this mess. "It's not like I wanted to be separated from you both, but it's happening whether I like it or not. I'm trying my best here. I love you two, it's not like I could ever give up on y'all."

Ian looked in those familiar brown eyes and nodded, "I know that... but it's a little difficult to do that when you haven't seen us in almost a week." He shrugged his shoulders, "Which is why we came to see you today." He saw Jade lean against the counter and try and contain the frustration that was clear across her face. "It's been a difficult change for all of us."

"We can get your stuff and go, we've done it before. What's to say we can't do it again." Jade stepped out of the kitchen, her hands in her coat pockets and she eyed the bedroom door.

Carter turned to look at Jade and shook her head, "... She's my family, Jade." Small tears now forming in the corner of her eyes.

"Really? Cause I thought we were your family." Jade motioned to herself and Ian, who stood there a little shocked at Carter's words. "This woman gave you up, Carter. What's to say she won't again?"

"I've heard it all before from you, Jade. I don't need another lecture." Carter turned and glared at her friend, "I actually have a bed to sleep on, she's taking the couch and I'm in her bed. She's cooking me meals, well, I cooked her one because she burnt grilled cheese. But it doesn't matter. At least I'm not sharing a room with ten other kids or worse..._ locked in one_." Her tone turning sharp, she held her arms out and laughed looking up, "For the first time in my life... I feel like somebody wants me. So yeah, I'm staying here with Olivia."

Jade clenched her jaw and looked in her friends eyes, she couldn't believe that after all these years they lead to this. It was difficult to watch her fired being reunited with her birth mother as she sat aside, not knowing where hers was. "Fine. Then stay." She grabbed her scarf that was on the couch and turned to Ian, "You coming?"

Ian looked away from Carter and it stung to know that he never made her feel like he wanted her, he was the one who was supposed to make her feel that way. Wasn't he? He simply leaned in kissing the side of her cheek and made his way out with Jade, without a word to leave her with.

* * *

It wasn't until six a clock that Olivia arrived home, carrying take out for dinner and a few files under her arm. As normal she had her gun locked onto her hip and as well as her phone in her back pocket, stepping inside her apartment Olivia saw Carter sitting on the couch with books in her lap and smiled gently, "I'm sorry for not picking you up on my way home, I was meeting with my boss." She apologized as she placed a bag of take out on the counter, she heard Carter close her books and push them off her lap.

"It's fine. I've been doing my homework and snacking on a few things in the fridge." Carter stood on the other side of the counter as Olivia stood in the kitchen taking out the food for dinner. "Whatever that is it smells delicious." She felt her stomach growl and chuckled.

Oliva smiled once hearing her daughter was doing her homework, she would think that nagging on her daughter would be the only way to get her homework. Rather, she come home and find her daughter doing homework without an ask. "It's Thai food, a little bit of everything. I didn't know if you would like it, some of it's spicy."

Carter immediately grinned and walked into the kitchen, "Spicy food is always a good choice." She helped Olivia set out the food and soon they were sitting at the coffee table dinning. They spoke about her first day of school her classes, which she enjoyed most or the ones she didn't. Telling her about a few friends she had met at the school, not telling her about what happened with Jade and Ian.

Once they were done with dinner Olivia began to look around the apartment, she began to go through the couch lifting the cushions up and everything that was on the counter. When she couldn't find what she was looking for she stepped into the bedroom where Carter was getting ready to shower, "Carter, you haven't happened to see my badge have you?"

Carter looked up from her bed and looked at Olivia, "No, the last I saw it, it was on the kitchen counter... Is it missing?" She asked quickly getting up from her bed.

Olivia shook her head once hearing Carter, "Yeah, I haven't seen it since. Maybe I missed it, probably hidden behind something." Although it didn't make sense she checked all over the counter and moved everything.

As Carter stood in the doorway watching Olivia check the counter again, it hit her. Jade was messing around with Olivia's badge earlier, saying she always wanted to be a cop. Then after the big fight the two shared Carter had her back to her the whole time, she must've grabbed it. Shaking her head Carter eyed the phone on the counter and knew she would have to get a hold of Jade, but it would have to wait until tomorrow. Olivia was home, there was no way she could've contacted her friend who stole her mother's badge.

"... Maybe." Carter whispered and felt her stomach turn, her chances of staying with Olivia soon looked to slipping away.

* * *

_**A/N: That was a fun cliffhanger... **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thank you all so much for your kind reviews. It means more to me than you will ever know, I'm almost to sixty followers. Which is insanity. But in a wonderful way and thank you all again. Please enjoy this chapter. **_

* * *

Thirty minutes. That was how much longer her lunch would last, she didn't have much time considering she already had to take a fifteen minute drive here. Sitting in the back of the cab Carter's knee nervously bounced, her eyes glancing out the window then back at the clock of the cab, her eyes occasionally blinking in attempts to keep her awake. Last nights restless amount of asleep was pointless, all she kept picturing was Jade with Olivia's badge in her hand and then it going missing after the fight they had.

Earlier this morning Olivia was still looking for it, she wouldn't be able to do her job if she lost it. Which made Carter feel even worse, Jade was practically giving Olivia a reason to kick her out, which is what she wanted in the long run. Carter knew if Jade had it, she would admit it if so, they never lied to one another. Carter felt more guilty than ever for lying to Olivia, but how was she supposed to tell her that she allowed her friends into her apartment, without permission and steal the badge without knowledge of it. That wasn't something she could easily let slip.

As they got closer to the apartment complex Carter felt her stomach turning to knots, she knew if she confronted Jade about this it would turn to a fight. Which is exactly what she didn't want. There wasn't an easy way out of this, either way she would lose something in the end. Carter prayed it wouldn't be Jade. The money in her back pocket was the money Olivia gave her for lunch and would be the way she would pay for the cab.

Arriving to the apartment complex Carter paid the man and quickly made her way inside, she bolted up the stairs and began banging on the door. She knew Jade had to be there, Ian was most likely at work, which meant they would be alone. "Jade, open the door!" She demanded as she began banging louder with her fists.

On the other side she could hear movement and feet shuffling against the floorboards, it wasn't long before the door opened and there stood Jade. "... Skipping lunch from the fancy ritz of a school. What didn't feel like dipping lobster in butter?" She asked, her voice quite sarcastic.

Carter narrowed her eyes and pushed past Jade, letting herself inside the apartment, she began removing her coat and heard the door shut. "Actually, I felt like coming here which is thirty bucks for a cab drive and getting something you stole." She turned to Jade and held her hand out. "Give it back, Jade. Before you make me do something I will seriously regret."

"I wasn't the one who decided to use your Mommy's money for that." Jade turned to face her friend and raised an eyebrow, looking down at Carter's hand and laughing. "Oh and what is that?" She stepped closer to her friend and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll have to tell Olivia the truth, that you were the one who stole her badge. Do you know how much trouble that could get you into?" Carter looked into her friends blue eyes, wanting her to know that it wasn't about them anymore.

"I didn't steal her damn badge. What in the hell would I gain from doing that? A few years in juvie then prison. Which I'm not putting my ass on the line for." Jade told Carter as she turned and zipped up the suitcase on the bed.

Carter stopped herself once seeing bags sprawled out on the bed, clothes being shoved in them. "... What... what's going on?"

Jade turned and followed her gaze, she clenched her jaw and chuckled making her way to the small bathroom. She didn't answer, she knew Carter would understand once seeing her reaction. Which was a well enough answer. She gathered up all the things she had in the bathroom and walked back out to see Carter looking down at the floor.

"Your emancipation hearing was yesterday. Wasn't it?" asked Carter as she stepped closer to Jade, she crossed her arms over her chest. "... It didn't end well. Crap, Jade I totally spaced. I'm sorry."

"Yeah... you did." Jade knelt down onto the bed and placed her things in the suitcase. "Emancipation denied. There's a bunk waiting for me at the girls home at River Vale girls home." She zipped up her suitcase and sighed heavily remembering she had more clothes to pack in the second suitcase. "Until then, they are finding me a foster home, that will accept a teenager that is."

Carter felt her stomach turn to knots as she heard her friend, it was shocking to hear that Jade would be sent back into foster care. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come here and accuse you, but... forget about it." She shook her head and sat down on the bed with Jade, "How can I help?"

* * *

Stepping back into the squad room after a week off was a joy, Olivia missed being with her partner and precinct, now all she had to find was her badge and she would be able to go and question suspects. Until then, Liv was being filled in on one of the cases Fin and Rollins had just landed. Sitting around the board with the victim and the suspects pictures on them, Amanda explained as to what had happened to the young girl and how she was assaulted, she was nineteen and used a fake I.D to enter in a club as well as get herself a drink. She didn't remember meeting a guy, but she did remember being dragged out of the VIP room by the bouncer.

It wasn't long before they visited the club and asked for video from their security cameras, the club owner refused which caused them to get a court order with the help of Barba. Which they had received earlier today, they had been reviewing the tapes most of the night and finally had come across who took the victim into the VIP room, they got a close up of his face through the video. All in a days work and it was only twelve-thirty.

They began gathering more evidence and before long it was lunch time, the team walked back to their desks and debated on what to eat, Olivia sat down at her desk and looked at the time on her phone. Carter most likely was having lunch by now, she hoped she had enough to grab a bite at the cafeteria.

Amanda Rollins grabbed her wallet from her desk drawer and looked over at Olivia who seemed to be starring off into space. Liv had seemed to be doing that, now Rollins wasn't noisy, but caring towards one of her colleagues, yes. Nick seemed to have known what was wrong by not asking questions. Amanda's blue eyes met with Fin's and his eyes followed, he sensed the exact same thing and stood up from his desk grabbing his wallet. She raised an eyebrow and stepped towards Liv's desk. "You up for something that's not takeout?" Amanda asked.

"Or frozen dinners?" Fin stepped next to Amanda as he slipped on his leather jacket, his gun and badge still on his hip as was Amanda's.

Liv looked up from her phone and chuckled, "I've seen more takeout boxes this week than trash day has, I'll take you up on it." Olivia chuckled, grabbing her coat from the back of her chair and grabbing her wallet and phone before making her way out with Amanda and Fin by her side. As they stood in the elevator Liv had a small hunch as to why they had asked, she turned and glanced at Amanda before saying, "I'm alright, just to putting that out there. I know I've been a little off, but believe me when I say. It's not what you both think." She chuckled.

Hearing Liv speak Amanda looked over at Olivia and shrugged her shoulders, "And I just want you to know that I'm not taking you out for lunch to get the scoop." Amanda informed her.

"Yeah, I've noticed you've been a little distant. And with Captain giving you a week off I just hope you're okay, I'm only a little worried with you loosing the badge." Fin joked as they heard the elevator 'ding'.

Olivia could't help but laugh along with the two of them as they stepped out of the elevator, "That was an accident. I'm sure it's somewhere in my apartment, just hidden in plain sight. For all I know, it's in the cushions of the couch." She rolled her eyes. "But there is something I do need to tell you... and everyone in the squad room. Question is if you would really believe me..."

Now Amanda and Fin became curious as to what Olivia Benson needed to tell them. Amanda and Fin already knew Liv wasn't big on telling what was going on with her personal life to many people, but when she would need to inform the squad room on what would be going on. Well, that wasn't usually how Olivia worked. "Did you and Cassidy go and get hitched or something?" Amanda asked, not knowing what would be the cards dealt on the table.

Fin raised an eyebrow and quickly turned to look over his shoulder at Olivia, knowing the two were dating and it could be true. A week off wasn't something Liv normally took kindly too, especially with Captain ordering it as well. "Without us, please." He chuckled.

Brian Cassidy. Olivia had been meaning to call him back, between the texts of the two she had been attempting to get together with him and explain, but with Carter being there she had to have full responsibility on her. Liv couldn't help but crack a smile at that, "Nothing to that extreme, Amanda. But close to it... I'll explain once we get there. It'll be easier when I can actually explain this. Again."

* * *

Carter and Jade laid on the bed a few things sprawled out here and there, one bag packed leaning against the wall, the other one wide open at the foot of the bed, a few items thrown inside. It had been an hour since Carter had arrived from ditching lunch period, now she was ditching multiple periods of school. The two of them flipped through photos of them laughing at how little they were, the ages ranging from six to thirteen. Carter pointed to one of the pictures sprawled out on the bed and picked it up.

"Do you remember you cut your hair off because you didn't like how curly it was?" Carter laughed, seeing the young blue eyed little girl int he photo, her dark hair cut in pieces. "Then it only grew back curlier, as if it could get worse." She placed the photo in Jade's lap.

Jade eyed the photo and grand at the horrible mistake she made at seven. She then began eyeing photos for payback against Carter, "How bout the time you got paint all over that denim jacket you loved so much, you were ten. How does that even happen?" She nudged Carter.

Carter smirked, "Believe it or not, I though the paint was creative. After I got used to it of course, but that's beside the point. And you were the one who splattered paint on me first." She recalled, the memory now coming back. They were forced to paint a room of the foster home they were living in, the mother had no time due to her drunken mess and Jade being herself, made it fun.

The two of them chuckled, then sat in silence as they flipped through more photos, it rather sad. Seeing how young they were, yet they knew more than any seven year old should about being on their own. They mostly had each other, which is one of the reasons why the two were close. Carter looked up from the photos and sighed heavily, "Even though you will farther away... I'll visit you on the weekends, call you everyday if possible. I'm not leaving you behind, not for a second."

Jade looked up at Carter and smiled gently, reaching to take her hand she gave a gentle squeeze and winked. "Together, you and me. We've said that from the age of six and I don't plan on changing it anytime soon. When I do get out of this personal hell, well. Expect me to follow you like a bird... or maybe a butterfly whichever sounds better." She smirked.

"I think a butterfly following me around is better." Carter replied, sitting up from the pillows she was leaning against and eyeing the suitcase. "... What time is your social worker coming by?" She asked quietly.

Jade followed suit and sat up as well, closing the small booklet she had of photos. "In an hour or so. I still have to finish all this damn packing." Jade got up from the bed and began to grab the rest of her clothes.

Carter took the booklet and began to flip through the photos, smiling gently at the memories they shared. The good ones. "I don't think I have these many pictures of when we were this young. That was the time we were at separate homes." She looked up at Jade, "You think I can maybe take one... I think Olivia would like to see what I looked like as a kid."

At the mention of bringing Olivia up again, Jade looked over at Carter and clenched her jaw. "Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm sure the social worker wouldn't mind copying them." Jade gave a small smile and began folding the rest of her clothes. "Damn, I'm not going to have enough time to pack all this stuff. Ian was supposed to be here an hour ago with trash bags. Hand-me-downs, I think the girls at the home would appreciate them."

The smile that was on Carter's face suddenly disappeared and replaced with a small frown. "You know him, he's horrible with time. I can try and call him if you want, where's your cell?" She asked, getting herself up from the bed.

Jade pointed to the old style military backpack in the side of the bed, "Front pocket and if he does answer, tell him to hurry up."

Rolling over to the right of side of the bed Carter leaned over and reached inside, feeling two items in her hands she pulled both out. Only to find Jade's blue flip phone and Olivia's badge in her hand. Her dark brown eyes grew wide as she saw the badge, the realization hitting her that her friend was the real reason as to how Olivia's badge went missing, as well as Jade had lied to her. Sitting up from the bed Carter looked up at Jade and showed her what she had taken out from her backpack. "You didn't steal the badge, huh?"

Placing most of her folded clothing into the last suitcase Jade looked up once hearing Carter, seeing what she had in her hands Jade felt sick to her stomach. Now she knew the truth. "... Yeah, I took the badge. So what?" She shrugged her shoulders and looked away.

"You lied to me. I've not once lied to you about anything and yet, you can lie to me about something this important." Carter threw Jade's cellphone into her open suitcase and slipped Olivia's badge into her pocket. "How could you look into my eyes and lie that easily?"

Jade stepped towards Carter blocking her from leaving, "Not as easily as you could bail. On us. On our plan to leave this hell hole of foster parents and running away. I thought we were over that, but it turns out I was wrong." She shook her head, "I thought we were going to follow through. "You are the only family I have and I thought I was yours. So I took the badge to get you back."

"That was our plan. I haven't forgotten it. Why would you think I would?" Carter felt tears enter her eyes and she clenched the badge in her pocket, "And that was your genius plan, take the badge and make it seem like I was the one all along, then what have Olivia kick me out?" She pushed past Jade and grabbed her coat. "Nice, real nice."

"Why are you protecting her? She's barley been a mother to you, she's been doing it for what two weeks. You barley know this woman. What about me, I've known you since we were six. She took you away... and now look, I'm going further away from you." Jade wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes and moved past Carter. "You might as well go, because you've made it clear who you want to be with. Just enjoy the life you have now, with your perfect Mother. Because not everyone gets one."

Carter watched as Jade went back to packing and clenched her jaw, not knowing how to deal with Jade at this point. She had never felt more distant from the one person who was like a sister. "I wouldn't do this to you. If you had that one shot at happiness, I would only hope that you take it. Not drag you under like you've done to me." She exclaimed, making her way out with the slam of a door.

* * *

"You have a daughter, who you gave up for adoption sixteen years ago and you now have temporary custody of her, due to the judge seeing you in the courtroom and going over your papers. She's now living with you in your one bedroom apartment and have had a few minor incidents with her at school, as well as her running away. Yet you're still sane?" Amanda asked, a small smile growing as she saw Olivia roll her eyes. "I'm only kidding, but as for her name Carter Benson. It has a nice ring to it." She pushed her empty plate away and took a few sips of her second glass of iced tea.

Fin sat across from Amanda and listened to her explain it for the second time, rather than it coming from Olivia. He could hardly believe what he was hearing, after all these years, Liv was a mother. No one knew, until now when it fell into her lap. Now being informed on this information Fin understood, he knew there was always a reason as to why she was motherly, not just because of the abuse she suffered. She was a mother all along. "Damn. Here I thought it was really gonna be something other than that. But a daughter... well that's a pretty awesome thing to celebrate. Congrats, Liv." He smiled brightly at her.

Olivia smiled gently at Amanda and played with the rest of the food on her plate, "Yeah, that it does. I took a look at her hospital records last night, she was in and out of there five times by the time she was three, that was only for major surgeries. She's healthy now, the doctors say she may have trouble breathing from now and then, but from what it seems she's in great health." Liv looked up into Amanda eyes and shrugged her shoulders, "I've been meaning to tell you all, just didn't know when." Turning her gaze towards Fin she returned the smile and nodded, "Thank you, Fin. It means a lot."

"Well, all done and taken care of, the squad I mean." Amanda joked as she grabbed the ticket that was resting at the end of the table, quickly placing her money inside before Olivia could fight for it. "I'd love to meet her."

Seeing Amanda grab the ticket Fin narrowed his eyes and chuckled, "Your the only person I'll actually let pay for my lunch." He said, adding a sarcastic tone. Only receiving a small glare from his partner.

As she tried reaching for the check as well, Olivia knew she had no chance, Amanda was paying either way. Didn't mean she couldn't slip the cash in her coat later on. Smirking Olivia grabbed her glass and sipped on her lemon water, "Speaking of meeting her. Her birthday is this weekend, she'll be seventeen. Which reminds me to order a cake and invite you all to join. I've already spoken to Cragen about it, I would want her to meet you all before hand, I could bring her by the precinct later on."

"That sounds great to me, wherever cake is I most likely will be close behind." Amanda leaned back in her chair. Imagining in the back of her mind what Carter looked like, she didn't doubt that there had to be similarities to Olivia, but wandered how close they could be.

Fin was excited at hearing he would be meeting the young daughter of Olivia's. After all these years he would see Olivia with her own child. "Seventeen, huh? That's a fun age." He sipped on the last of his drink and was going to ask the waiter for a refill.

"Yeah. It should be, the year where you're signing up for college and ready to start your life. She's a junior, so she still have one more year." Olivia ran her finger up and down the glass of water, watching as the droplet of water soaked into the cloth underneath. "I'm looking into adopting her. And becoming her legal guardian as well as her legal mother."

Amanda and Fin listened to Olivia explain and wasn't taken back by Olivia's choices, Amanda felt as if from the moment Liv would've laid eyes on her, she would've wanted her back in her life. "I don't blame you. Not one bit, for wanting that, Liv." Amanda smiled, nodding her head before she raised an eyebrow. "Now what are the kids into these days, I have to come up with a gift for her somehow."

As Amanda and Fin went into discussion about what to get a seventeen year old girl, Olivia laughed and went to speak when she felt her phone vibrating against her hip. Olivia knew it was her phone and quickly grabbed it from her pocket and answered, she was shocked to find a recording from the school administration saying that her child had skipped this afternoon school. Clenching the phone in her hand Olivia sighed, quickly hanging up and placing the napkin from her lap on the table. "I have to get going, seeing as Carter has skipped school."

"Do you have any idea where she is?" Amanda asked, standing up from her chair as well and following her out of the restaurant.

Fin followed suit and pulled out the car keys that were in his coat pocket, "Do you need a ride?" He asked, "We have the squad car, but we can even get you a taxi, if needed." Fin had given Olivia the ride here all while the precinct was five blocks from the restaurant.

"I'll take a taxi, really. You two get back to the precinct. That case isn't gonna close itself. I know where she is." Olivia assured them and turned to face the street, hailing herself a cab before turning back to the both of them. "I'm sorry, I have to leave like this. I'll buy you lunch tomorrow. Take out this time." She joked. Getting in the cab and repeating the address that would take her to the Bronks.

* * *

Olivia knocked on the door of the familiar apartment of C 83, as she did so the door swung open showing the inside of the apartment, she could hear movement inside and ran her eyes over the crack in the door. "Hello..." She called out, hoping and praying it would be Carter inside. She was upset no doubt that Carter had skipped school, but if she were here she would at least know her whereabouts. "Is anyone here?"

A young girl stepped inside from the back room, she looked to be around Carter's age, her hair was dark brown and her bright blue eyes stared back at Olivia. In her hand were a few books and behind her on the bed was a suitcase. "... You must be Olivia." The girl said, but before Olivia could ask how she knew that she continued, "I can see the resemblance between you and Carter. It's interesting." She stepped back and threw the books on the bed.

Standing in the doorway Olivia nodded slowly hearing the young girl speak, she immediately remembered her voice. It matched the girl who had called for Carter on the apartment phone, leaving a message for her. Olivia had feeling this was the friend Carter had spoken about, Jade. "May I come in?" She asked, when seeing the girl nod, Olivia stepped inside and looked around the small apartment. "You wouldn't by any chance seen-"

"Carter today?" Jade finished her sentence looking back up at Olivia, "Yeah. She stopped by earlier, you just missed her. She left about fifteen minutes ago." She got up from the bed and walked over to the small shelves that had a few things gathering dust, she grabbed the items and walked back over to her bag.

"I see." Olivia watched as she packed away everything she could in the suitcase, "Well, if she comes back. Have her call me, since I don't have much of a way to get a hold of her. Your my best option. You must be Jade, the friend she's spoken so highly of. Seeing as you know my name. I'm Carter's birth Mother and I got a call from the school, they said she skipped class. Which is why I believed she would be here."

Jade chuckled zipping up the last suitcase of hers and rolling her eyes, "I'm Jade. Yeah." She muttered, "But I won't be much help with getting in contact with Carter, I've gotta a one way ticket to a girls home. We all don't have a cop mom who's gonna appear out of no where and be our saving grace." She grabbed her scarf and coat and began to slip them on.

The comment caused Olivia to stare at the young girl, she could only imagine what it felt to be an orphan and seeing someone else get that dream you'd longed for. Looking away Olivia spotted a photo album on the bed and raised an eyebrow, questioning what was in tater herself. She wasn't wanting to snoop, but in ways she hoped there would be pictures of Carter. "... Can I ask you something?" Olivia asked, stepping closer to Jade.

Looking up from her belongings Jade was wondering what this woman could possibly want from her, besides Carter. There wasn't much that Jade knew that could give Olivia the answers to lead her to Carter and Jade saw a look in Olivia's eyes she'd never seen before. She cared for Carter, wanting to know desperately where her daughter was. Maternal love.

"Do you think she's better off. Getting emancipated and living on her own. Being on her own. Holding out for someone else?" Olivia asked, looking in Jade's blue eyes. These past few days Olivia had been contemplating on whether or not to see if Carter would want to become her legal child. Again.

"You mean someone who gave her up for adoption then offered to take her in again. Years later?" Jade asked placing the scarf around her neck, she looked up at Olivia and feeling the tension grow she continued speaking. "Carter and I, we've been friends since we were little. Since we were six, we met at a girls home before I was placed. I used to get in trouble for everything getting sick, crying, they'd punish me by holding back food from me, they would only feed me if strangers came to the house or those check in ladies from social services. And Carter she collected change under the couches and after like a month, she saved enough to buy me candy bars." Jade laughed, remembering the childhood friendship they shared. "It's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. To this day."

Standing there Olivia felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her, knowing children had been abused in foster homes made her sick to her stomach. But knowing her daughter had endured this life, only made her regret her past. The young girl standing before her had suffered at the hands of someone else, yet they used her to abuse. The fear of being that child who would be held back food or struck for being sick, a child should never have to endure any pain such as that. Sadly, Olivia saw cases like these mostly everyday. "..."

"We were going to emancipated and live together, here. Get out of the hell hole called foster care. That was the plan." Jade sighed. A honk of the horn from downstairs caused Jade to step back and looked out the window, "... That's my social worker, I need to get going." She quickly turned and grabbed her two suitcases and threw one of her shoulder and one she carried. Turning to Olivia she looked down at her feet and took a deep breath, "Your badge. Carter has it, I'm the one that took it. That's why she skipped school, she left during lunch hoping to beat the time. She didn't make it. But I'm really sorry. It won't happen again."

Hearing Jade admit to stealing her badge Olivia knew immediately she wasn't going to be pressing charges, she couldn't after she had told the truth. Now it added up to why Carter had been missing for school, she came here to get it back only to have it backfire and not make it in time. As Jade went to move past Olivia stopped her, "What I did, by keeping Carter away from you. It was worse." She said, meeting eyes once more with Jade.

Jade looked back into Olivia's eyes and saw that it wasn't a lie, she wasn't being an adult lying to her young teenager self. She was actually telling the truth to Jade, which only made Jade gain respect for her. Adjusting the bag on her shoulder Jade said, "For the record, the answer is no. Look, Carter has been with some really crappy people, people way worse than you. And even if there was some great couple out there who really wanted her, you still have one thing they never will, your her Mom." Jade whispered, small tears gathering in her eyes. "To people like us that's... _everything_." Jade stepped passed Olivia, "Oh... and the photo album, you can have. I took all mine out and there mostly of Carter now. There all yours." She pointed to the album on the bed and made her way out of the apartment.

Standing there Olivia found herself with tears rolling down her cheeks, she could hardly fathom what Jade had just told her. Olivia had never thought through any of it. She didn't know it could be possible to love Carter as much as she already did, but now all Olivia longed for was Carter to be her daughter, of course first she would have to ask Carter if she would want that, Olivia prayed she would after discussing this with Jade.

* * *

Sitting on the bench out front of the school Carter went through her homework list, sighing heavily at the extra amount she had due to her trip to the Bronks. It was a Thursday evening, tomorrow would be Friday and all she had to look forward to was her birthday. Which Carter wasn't looking forward to, due to her and Jade's falling out. Both of them saying things they wished they could take back, but when it came down to it Carter got what she needed. Olivia's badge back. Reaching into her backpack pocket Carter pulled out the badge and ran her fingers over the numbers, she would remember being afraid of cops when she was a kid. At that age growing up in Foster Care, if you talked to the cops you would be abused either way. Which is why mostly all the kids kept quiet.

Seeing a squad car pull up in front of the school Carter looked up to see Olivia in the drivers seat, she sighed heavily and slipped the badge inside her backpack and then got up and made her way towards the car. How was she supposed to tell Olivia the truth without getting in trouble, there wasn't much of a way to tiptoe around this. In fact, there was no way.

Getting in the passenger seat Carter noticed Olivia's smile, "... Hi." She said, placing her backpack by her feet. "A good day, I'm assuming.." Carter shrugged her shoulders and leaned back, buckling her seatbelt and nervously biting her bottom lip.

"It was alright." Olivia put the car in drive and drove away from the school, "First day back at work and I already have a pile of files to finish. It's as if I'd never left." She kept her eyes on the road, but could feel the awkward tension in the car.

Carter leaned her head against the window and did her best to not think about the detention slip she had to get signed, she needed it by tomorrow morning. Or else it would only caused a meeting between the parents and the teacher. "Um. There's something I need to tell you." Carter closed her eyes, ready for the yelling. "I have a detention slip I need signed and before you ask why I have detention, please know I wasn't trying to skip school."

Olivia felt relief from how she was immediately being honest with her, she didn't wait until the last minute, nor did she lie about it to get Olivia to believe the lie. "I know you weren't." Olivia told her, she quickly glanced at Carter before looking up into the rearview mirror.

"And I know you will be upset once-" Carter stopped herself once hearing Olivia speak, the last thing she expected was that to be her response. "Wait, what do you mean by that. How could you possibly know that?"

"I got a call from the school. And when I went to go and check the apartment you were at before, I met your friend Jade. She told me the truth, as to why you were there and why you had skipped school for it." Olivia replied, "As well as her stealing my badge which she then informed me, you had taken it back. To give to me. Which is why you had gone over there in the first place."

Looking at Olivia in shock Carter sat back in her seat and shook her head, not understanding how Jade had told Olivia the truth. Knowing it could land her in more than a lawsuit. Jade wouldn't have risked that. "... I went right as the lunch bell rang, I tried to get back in time. I did. It's just the traffic was horrible. And then I ran out of money, so I walked back. I'm... I'm sorry, Olivia."

Olivia immediately shook her head and pulled up in a parking spot, she took the keys out of the ignition and turned to Carter. "I'm upset that you missed class, of course. But I could never be upset with you for telling me the truth," She looked Carter in the eyes and reached out taking her hand. "I'm also a little upset that you're going about town, but that's another topic we will get to." Olivia gently squeezed Carter's hand and smiled. "Just promise me that next time you find yourself in a bind, you will come to me first before deciding to take care of it on your own."

Carter looked down at her hand in Olivia's and smiled gently, it was nice to have this close relationship now with Olivia. Even after knowing her for only two weeks. Her whole life she had been on her own, as for parental guidance that is. Now Olivia felt more than just a parental who had custody of her, she felt like a Mother to Carter. "I promise." She whispered, looking in Olivia's eyes. "Oh and..." She reached down into her backpack and pulled out her badge and handed it to her. "I believe this belongs to you."

"Yes, yes it does." Olivia smiled seeing her badge and chuckled slipping it back on her hip.

Looking out the window Carter realized where they were and raised an eyebrow, "What are we doing here? I'm not getting arrested or something for returning it back, am I?" She asked, hoping it would be a joke. By the look on Olivia's face it was.

Olivia opened the car door for herself and said, "I want you to meet a few people."

* * *

Stepping out of the elevators Olivia and Carter walked into precinct sixteen, people greeted Olivia as they passed by her. Watching from behind her Carter remembered when she stepped in here two weeks ago, she would've never expected to be stepping back in this place, let alone being with her birth Mother and living with her. It was all still a dream to her. Now she was standing in a percent full of cops, she could see some of the detectives starring as they passed by the two of them, but stepping inside the percent and all eyes fell on them she felt her stomach turn to knots.

Olivia gently placed a hand on Carter's back and stepped towards her desk. Nick Amaro sitting at his desk in front of her, looked up from his work and smiled seeing Olivia with Carter in tow. "Carter, I'd like you to meet my partner Nick Amaro. Nick, I'd like you to meet, Carter." Olivia said, smiling she then waved for Amanda and Fin to join them.

Nick stood up from his desk chair and stepped out from behind his desk, "Hi Carter, I've heard a lot about you." He held his hand out, "Now, I gotta say seeing you in the percent the first time. Never once would've thought I would be seeing you again, as her daughter I mean."

Carter placed her hand in his and she smiled shaking his hand, "Believe me, Nick. I don't really think any of us thought that this would be the case. But seeing as you are all detectives here, I still can't get why you didn't figure it out sooner." She joked.

Nick couldn't help but laugh at hearing Carter's comeback and nodded, "Well, maybe if they paid me better I would've figured that out sooner." He ran his eyes over the young girl, not noticing the resemblance of the mother and daughter. Them standing next to one another, it mostly gave it away.

Amanda stepped up behind Nick and rolled her eyes, "You'll have to excuse him, we're still trying to fix a few things before we take him out." She held her hand out and smiled, "I'm Amanda Rollins, it's nice to finally meet you, Carter."

Carter placed her hand now in the blonde detectives hand and sighed, "Well, I only hope you can help him with his manners," She laughed. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Amanda. I'm assuming you and my Mom are close, seeing as your surrounded by all these males." She raised an eyebrow at Nick.

"Hey now, were not that bad. Only Nick and he's still a working progress." Fin said, stepping next to Amanda and smiled at the young Olivia Benson that stood in front of him. "I've known your Mother for almost fourteen years, so I got them all beat on the relationship we have. If you ever wanna know anything, come to me. They won't know a thing."

"He claims that, yet I'm her partner." Nick jumped in and shook his head, "So obviously I will be the favorite out of y'all. It's not a competition if I've already won that. I'll be her favorite by the weekend."

Fin immediately stepped in, "Says you. It's obvious who Carter is going to favor, it's the one who had all the great stories on Liv. And I'll tell you right now, both of them don't know anything like I do." Fin smirked wanting Carter to favor him from the start.

Amanda crossed her arms over her chest and stood next to Carter, "Why does it always need to be a competition with men, whether it be who favors who or who has a better aim. Which by the way, is me." She patted Carter on the shoulder, before getting in between Fin and Amaro to squash the small bickering going on there.

Watching the three of them bicker Carter couldn't help but laugh, she immediately felt at ease with them. They didn't seem to make things awkward nor did they see as if they had to try with her, which is what Carter dreaded. A conversation where you had to keep pushing a topic or the awkward first meetings, it wasn't like this at all. In fact, she felt rather comforted by this sense of family pride they had in this precinct.

Olivia served herself coffee and watched from afar, laughing at what the three of them were already attempting. A favorite. How would that be possible with all of them being how they are? Knowing them they would be hustling Carter the rest of the evening to gain that title, of course Olivia knew that a favorite wouldn't be possible. She would love them all equally the same, just like Olivia did. Even if the years she had know them were all different. It wouldn't change the relationship whatsoever.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Thank you to all of you for following my story, it's been great having all this love from all of the followers. Knowing ya'll love this story means the world to me and all I want is to continue. So, here I go, hoping that you will love this. Anyway read on. **_

* * *

The dismissal bell rang as students flooded the hallways racing to get out of school for the weekend, the students shoving the books into their lockers slamming them shut as they left with their backpacks in hand. Most of them discussing what they would be doing this weekend. As for Carter she slowly made her way through the crowded halls to her locker, she placed her books that weren't needed in her locker and made her way to the front of the school. Hoping that she would make it out peacefully, she began thinking of her weekend. It was her birthday tomorrow, she debated on whether or not calling to find Jade, but knowing that their friendship was on the rocks made her question it. She knew she could get a hold of Ian or he would show up to surprise her, she just hoped Olivia wouldn't mind it.

Stepping outside Carter felt the cold December air breeze hit her, she immediately slipped her hands into her coat pockets and sighed. Snow had yet to fall in New York, which was rare, Carter adored the snow. But it was difficult to handle the cold weather that came with it, she often dreamed of having the snow not melt in the summertime. That was when she was eight, but it didn't matter. Imagination was wild at that age.

As Carter stepped out of the gates of her school she looked around for Olivia, she knew she could be late at times especially since her job was as hectic as it could be. However, the last thing she expected to see was Ian standing across the street from the school. He stood in front of a market and when he spotted her he smiled, waving for her to come over.

Walking across the street Carter watched for oncoming cars and once she got on the sidewalk she smiled, "What are you doing here? You hate the cold weather." She said, looking up into his eyes with a raised brow.

Ian quickly pulled Carter close and looked down into her dark brown eyes, "That might be true, but it's your birthday tomorrow. Do you really think I would forget that?" He leaned in planting a kiss on her lips, "Besides, I haven't seen you since last weekend. Been a while, don't you think?"

Carter pulled back from the kiss rather quickly and nodded slowly, "Yeah. I've been a little busy I know. I'm just getting comfortable here and I really don't want to leave, you should meet Olivia, under good terms I mean. She's not as bad as you'd think." She shrugged her shoulders. Carter knew Ian was happy that she had a parent, he just wasn't to excited on Olivia.

Ian quickly glanced away from Carter, a little annoyed at her bringing up Olivia once more, he was surprised to hear her being shocked about comfortable in her home and now the school. "... Yeah, I'm sure." He said, "I have an idea for your birthday, I was planning on taking you to go see Jade. I've already got the whole weekend planned, hotels aren't in such a good area, but we'll be okay. I thought it would be nice, it could be just the two of us for a while then we can go get Jade and be like old times."

"..." Carter immediately knew where Ian would be going with this, she didn't like it. It wasn't going to turn into that, it couldn't. Carter didn't want to disappoint Olivia by running off with her boyfriend and then coming back expecting everything to be okay. "Ian, that's not happening. You and I both know that it isn't. It's not like old times where I can just run off-"

"Why not?" He asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked down to meet Carter's gaze. "It can be, you don't even have to tell Olivia."

"I'm not having this discussion with you," Carter stepped back away from Ian, "Wanna know why, because I had the same talk with Jade. Expect you're my boyfriend, don't push me into something I don't wanna do."

Ian rolled his eyes, "Why must you always be a drama queen?" He asked, "My gosh. I haven't seen you in a week and you're acting like you haven't even missed me in the time that you've been gone. And Jade was right, you are changing. It's all because you care about how Olivia looks at you."

"So what, I care." Carter yelled out in frustration, "I care what she thinks of me, how awful of me. She's only my Mother. I want to stay with her, Ian. Is that so bad, I'm so sick of you and Jade judging me on how I am. Maybe... Maybe I've changed for the better. I have someone who actually really cares for me, wants me in their life. Sue me for wanting that."

The students across the street glanced over at Carter and Ian, wandering what was going on. The yelling could be heard and they just glared and looked away, not wanting anything to do with Carter.

Ian laughed at Carter glancing away, "... Guess me and Jade didn't want you in our lives." He looked back in Carter's eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "That cop that has you brainwashed did a pretty damn good job, considering she turned you against me in less than a week."

Carter stood silent looking guilty as she realized what she had said, she meant as a parental feeling, Carter knew Ian and Jade wanted her in their life. But Olivia was her Mother, it meant more to her. "Here we go again, do you ever listen?" She snapped, "And she didn't turn you against me, we spoke of you once. Wow. She must've done pretty damn good job turning me against you with one talk."

Hearing her Ian found himself growing angrier by the minute, why was she being difficult, why did she always have to be this way. "Yeah, I think she did a hell of a job if you ask me." He said, "You know, I know a lot of people that don't like cops, I can only imagine if I tell some of them her badge number." His tone turning rather cold.

Carter's eyes narrowed at Ian as he said that. She knew he was right, Ian wasn't gang involved, but he are did have a lot of friends that were gang affiliated. Most of them being friends since they were young kids. "... Ian, don't you dare. You wouldn't do that, if you did, I would never forgive you." She stepped closer to him and shook her head, "I can't take this anymore. That fact that you would even use that makes me sick."

Ian regretted his words of venom the moment he heard Carter, it was his fault that he found himself in this situation. "Carter... you know how I get when I'm pissed. I didn't mean it, look I understand that you can't come with me. I'm sorry for trying to push you. But can you blame me, you change your ways overnight." He stepped forward and placed his hand gently caressing her cheek. "It was an accident. I wouldn't do that."

Feeling his cold fingertips run across her cheek Carter flinched, she didn't know how to respond, knowing that he had said this to her made her stomach turn. How was she supposed to trust him after that. Pushing his hand away Carter looked up in his eyes, "It's over, Ian." She whispered, "You're saying I've changed, you need to look in the mirror. Because I'm not the only one. Eight months together and I can't imagine making it to nine. Not after what you just did," She went to step away from him.

Ian quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back, his grip tightening as he found his anger growing worse. He knew he had an anger problem, but he didn't consider it with Carter. They had never gotten in fights before, he trusted her, but he was a violent person. Thanks to his past history with where he grew up, he was forced to. "Carter, rethink this before you make this stupid decision, because once I'm gone I'm not coming back."

Before Carter could reply Olivia stepped behind Carter and quickly slipped her arm between the two, grabbing hold of Ian's arm, twisting it behind his back and shoving Ian against the wall and keeping him there, "You'd better think before you ever touch her again," She threatened, her tone rather stern as she stood behind him.

"You will not lay another hand on her and if you ever think about coming back here, I welcome it. The NYPD don't mind locking up another offender such as you." She released his arm stepped back away from him. Standing in front of Carter, Olivia watched as Ian stretched his arm, she didn't want him thinking of taking another step towards her.

Ian turned glancing over at Olivia and then at Carter. "Happy Birthday, Carter." He spat, Ian clenched his jaw and laughed, making his way down the street.

Carter watched as he walked away and found small tears gathering in the corner of her eyes, she wiped them away before Olivia turned to face her. "Can... Can we get out of here, please?" Carter asked, she looked up into Olivia's eyes.

Olivia nodded and wrapped an arm around Carter walking with her to the car. Once getting her in the passengers side Olivia got in the drivers side and drove away from the school. She noticed Carter pulled up the sleeve of her coat and saw the redness of the handprint on her arm, she turned her head fully and shook her head, "Carter... Has he ever done this before?"

Carter stared down at the handprint on her arm, she ran her fingers over the red prints and shook her head. "I knew he could get pissed, I've seen him get pissed. But never like that with me. He's never even touched me like that." She whispered, "And before you say anything about pressing charges, I don't want to. He will stay away, when cops get involved he doesn't take to kindly to them."

Immediately Olivia wanted to come to her daughters defense, saying she needed to press charges to keep him away, but the only thing stopping her was the look of fear in Carter's eyes. She wasn't going to push it now. Not when she was still in shock of what had happened. "Alright... then I'll change the house phone number and we will make sure he can't get ahold-"

"No, no. You really don't have to go to that extent. He said he'll be gone, which is better, I guess." Carter frowned looking out the window. Ian might've laid a hand on her, but it was still a relationship between two people who she had trusted her feelings to. She didn't want to show her emotions at a time like this, it wouldn't be right. Not when he had done wrong.

"... Alright, are you hungry at all? I can pick something up before we head home." Olivia offered, she knew she had a few more errands to run for tomorrows plans. She didn't want to tell Carter about the plans she had for her birthday, rather Olivia wanted it to be a surprise for her.

Carter looked up from starring out the window and smiled gently at Olivia, "No, really it's fine. I'd honestly rather go home and take a nap, it's been a long week." She leaned her head back against the headrest and sighed. Knowing that her friend was hours away and that this weekend would be a lonely birthday, she wanted lay in bed and get some sleep. Forget about the drama that she would leaving behind.

* * *

It had been an hour since Olivia had dropped off Carter at the apartment, she debated calling the apartment every thirty minutes, worried that her boyfriend would somehow get a hold of her there. She didn't feel safe knowing he was still our there, from Carter's words she made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him, but it was obvious feelings were still there for her. As every girl would. She parked at the station and grabbed the bags that were in the sitting in the passenger seat. Olivia knew Carter's birthday was tomorrow, she remembered the day seventeen years ago when she gave birth to her daughter. Now the age of seventeen was creeping up and Olivia had her in her life. She could hardly believe it.

Making her way into the elevator Olivia received a text from Brian, she knew she would have to call him back sometime. Sighing she placed the shopping bags down by her feet and read the text message.

_'It's been a few days now since I've heard from you, call me back when you get this text, please. We need to talk.' _

For Olivia to say she was worried about her relationship with him, it wouldn't be a lie, but she also questioned it as well. Hoping that her daughter now being in her life wouldn't cause them any tension, but she had a feeling it might. She quickly texted back saying, '_I understand, I will call you as soon as I can.' _Which wasn't much of a description after not speaking, however it was all that she could say in a text.

The 'ding' of the elevator caused Olivia to slip her phone into her back pocket and make her way in the precinct, she was quickly questioned by her partner once he saw the bags she was carrying.

"Ohhh, Liv. It's not my birthday for a while, but I'm not saying gifts can't come early this year." Nick said, smirking as he saw the happy birthday bag in Olivia's hand. He heard her laugh as she placed them on top of her desk.

"Funny, but if you haven't caught on by me explaining it to you for the past hour to you yesterday, it's for Carter. Her birthday is tomorrow. December 7th." Olivia explained, "And if you even think I would remember your birthday, you're probably wrong. When was it, last month?" She joked back, smirking as she unlocked her bottom drawer of her desk.

Nick Amaro began to laugh at her statement and smirked, "Oh, so you don't remember my birthday, that hurts Liv. You can't remember your own partners birthday." He placed a hand dramatically over his heart, "I'll forgive you for it,"

Placing the bags in the bottom drawer Olivia rolled her eyes as she locked the drawer back up, "Believe me, I'll remember the day I spent twenty-eight hours in the worst pain of my life, there isn't really a way you can easily forget it." Olivia slipped the keys to her drawer in her pocket and chuckled, "Bet money you don't even know mine,"

"It's in eight days. The thirteenth. I read your file." He lied as he glanced down at his phone, he heard his partner scuff. The two always seemed to have a teasing relationship that worked well, however they both knew each other so well, that they would hide it. As of now.

Olivia glanced over at Rollins and Fin, seeing them make their way over she chuckled, "Sure you did."

Fin stepped in between the two desks facing each other and said, "Don't make us separate you two again, it got ugly last time. We really don't need anymore of that." He gave a smirk before glancing at both of them with wink.

"That was us, Fin." Amanda reminded her partner, using Olivia's desk she raised her right leg and sat down on the edge of it. Facing Olivia she smiled, "We still on for tomorrow?" She asked, "I already bought the present just need to wrap it. Which most likely will be a train wreck, but we shall see." She gestured to the gift by her desk that was hidden in the shopping bag as well.

"Yeah, same place and everything. I just hope all goes well," Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, "She's been pretty lonely at her new school, not making many friends, then her ex tried putting his hands on her today, which I intervened before he could do anything else. She's just had a rough couple of days."

"Hold on a sec, he put his hands on her and you haven't put anything out on his ass?" Fin asked, a little taken back that Liv hadn't done so. Of all the year he had known her, she was protective of her loved ones, it was weird to think she wouldn't pursue this any further.

"I haven't for one reason, Fin. She told me he would stay away if cops get involved, I already looked him up in the system, he's got a small charge of stealing here and there. But Carter doesn't want a case, which is why I'm debating on a restraining order." Olivia explained to Fin and the team.

Amanda glanced over at Nick, seeing his reaction she looked back at Liv and shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe it would be for the best that you do that, that way if he ever does come back around, you can at least use that." She said. Amanda only knew Carter for a short period of time, mostly this week. But from what she had known of Carter, she wouldn't be one to mess with. Especially with Olivia as her Mother.

Olivia began to contemplate doing so, she knew she would need to do so after Carter's birthday though. Not wanting to upset her before hand. "You're right. I'll talk to her about it, speaking of I need to get home and get dinner started." She grabbed her keys and wallet.

"Don't you mean picked up?" Nick asked, receiving a glare from Olivia as Amanda and Fin both hid their laughter.

Making her way out of the precinct Olivia shook her head, "I can cook, thank you. I should have you all over for a dinner party to prove it." She gave a fake smile and pressed the button of the elevator before ordering take out from a Italian restaurant close to home. Luckily they hadn't picked up a case since solving the last one two days ago that belonged to Fin and Rollins. Fingers crossed they didn't get one tomorrow on Carter's birthday.

* * *

When Liv had gotten home Carter had been asleep, which made her be as quiet as she could be and place her food in the fridge and she could enjoy a glass of wine with her dinner. Flipping on the tv Liv watched a movie that was playing while eating dinner, letting herself relax back into the couch with pasta and wine. She would occasionally glance into the bedroom to check on Carter, making sure she was asleep. When it hit around ten-thirty Liv finally decided to go to bed, she changed into her pajamas and curled up on the couch.

It was around eleven when Olivia was woken up to the sound of light footsteps in the kitchen, she sat up slowly and saw Carter standing in the kitchen with the takeout she had gotten for her earlier. Carter looked to be doing her best to be quiet, but she had forgotten Olivia was a light sleeper. sitting up from the couch Olivia yawned, "I had a feeling you would wake up hungry,"

Once hearing Olivia's voice Carter turned and glanced over at the couch, seeing Olivia was awake she frowned looking down at the container in her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you. I tried my best to be quiet." She placed her food down on the counter.

"It's alright, I've been known to be a light sleeper. And a heavy one when I want to be," Olivia chuckled, rubbing the back of her eyes with her hands as she heard Carter grab her container and make her way towards her.

"I'm the same way. If something's on my mind I can't sleep, it bugs me until I come up with something to fix it. However, that rarely happens throughout the night time." Carter sighed, opening up the container of pasta and shrugging her shoulders. "... I can go and eat in the bedroom, if you don't want me to-"

Olivia quickly pushed her legs off the side of the couch and patted the left side, "You can come sit with me if you'd like. It's always nice to have company. Even if it's a little over an hour after falling asleep." She kept the blanket on her lap and patted the bed next to her.

Sitting down next to her Carter gave a small smile as she began to take bites of her pasta. She had woken up about ten minutes ago from hunger, she knew if she didn't get something in her stomach she would've been hungry throughout the night. Though she felt guilty for waking her on accident. Especially after all the crap they had been going through.

Reaching out to the coffee table Olivia grabbed her phone and checked to see if she had any messages, but the inbox was still empty. Seeing the time on the clock of her phone she saw it was, eleven-fifty-five. She looked up from her phone at Carter, "Did you sleep well?" She asked. "I know you immediately went to sleep when you got home."

"Yeah, I slept well. Good few hours, I think after working on that essay the past two sleepless nights, I think I needed it." Carter smirked, pushing the pasta in the takeout container. "... Your worried about the whole Ian thing, aren't you?" She asked, placing the styrofoam container in her lap. "You've had that worried look in your eyes ever since it happened, it's like you don't want to show me your worried, so you try to hide it. It's unsuccessful."

Olivia looked up at Carter taken back that she actually noticed that about her already, was it really that obvious? Olivia asked herself, but by the way Carter was explaining it to her, it seemed to be. Olivia chuckled, "I can't help but worry, Carter. I've dealt with cases like this, I don't want you to be in a abusive relationship. You're _my_ daughter, it's not like I can't help but worry, it's... how it works." She didn't know how she would react to her truthful answer, but she hoped in a positive way.

Carter was taken back by Olivia's answer, she expected to hear about the cases she had worked on in the past, but didn't expect for her to speak so... protectively of her. It was as a mother would speak if her child was in danger, or in the movies as Carter only knew. But knowing Olivia was acting this way was comforting. "If he comes back within less then a week, then we can get a restraining order. But if he doesn't. Go on with out lives?"

"... Perfectly fine with that, but just tell me even if he does try to contact you." Olivia placed a gently hand on Carter's arm, giving it a small squeeze and smiling. Seeing Carter look up from her lap, to meet her gaze she nodded and whispered, 'okay,' back to Olivia. "Have you heard from your friend... Jade?" Olivia asked.

"No, but I assume she won't talk to me for a little while. Whenever we have a fight we usually don't talk for a few weeks, until one of us gives in. Seeing as she's the only one who knows how to get a hold of me, I hope she gives in first." Carter replied, taking a bite of her pasta once more. She thought back on all the birthday's she had shared with Jade in the past, it hurt knowing she wouldn't be spending her seventeenth birthday with the one person she spent her childhood with.

Olivia nodded understanding a friendship that lasted years, it was with her old partner. Now she was left wondering if he would ever comeback, but she already knew that answer to that. "Give her time, she will. She just doesn't want to lose you, she'll come around." She hoped that this would help Carter understand this with her view point.

Carter pushed herself forward from the couch and placed the takeout box on the coffee table, "Yeah, I hope so." She leaned back into the couch and shook her head. She heard a small alert come from Olivia's phone, causing her to turn her head and glance at Olivia's phone. Seeing the time on the screen Carter shook her head, "It's midnight. I should get to bed."

The sight of her screen lighting up and spotting the time Olivia quickly shook her head, "Tomorrow is Saturday, you can sleep in. And it's your birthday, Carter." She said, a smile growing at Carter's eye roll. "Now you might've not been born at midnight, but you were born on this day. You're not technically seventeen. Just yet, but it is your birthday. I have a few gifts for you, but I do have one that I thought you might want tonight. Want me to get it for you?"

"Oh, Olivia you didn't have to buy me anything. Really," Carter shook her head, but as soon as she saw Olivia get up from the couch and make her way to the bedroom Carter sat back in the couch in a daze. Not truly believing that this was true, she had dreamed of times like this, but never did she think this would be happening to her.

Returning back in the living room Olivia had what seemed to be a box wrapped in wrapping paper, all over it said 'Happy Birthday.' A blue bow was on top of the box and a small card joined it. Placing in in her daughter's lap Olivia then sat back down next to her. "You can open it."

Eyeing the box that sat in her lap Carter read the tag that was on top, '_I hope this makes your day even better, Happy Birthday, Carter! Love, Olivia!_' She smiled gently and pulled up the top of the box, as she looked inside she saw a good stack of papers inside. Raising an eyebrow she reached inside the box and pulled them out, the small writing on the paper went unnoticed as she chuckled. "Would you like me to read this carefully, because if so it will take me all morning and night." She joked.

Olivia quickly informed her, "You can skip to page five, it will explain what it is."

Carter turned the pages and as she got to page five she let her eyes run over the first few sentences, she then looked up at Olivia with widened eyes. Glancing back down at the papers in her hand quickly, small tears forming in her eyes, they were documents from her old social worker Jane that were from the state. She felt this sense of joy and happiness fill her heart and quickly wiped away her tears, "... You... You want to adopt me?" She whispered, almost not being able to say it without her voice cracking.

"Well, it would be more like my rights will be reinstated. But yes, technically I will be adopting you. Under law that is," Olivia replied, tears welling up in her eyes too. She could see the sense of emotion in Carter's eyes and scooted closer, "I've thought long and hard about this, Carter. Even with spending two weeks with you, I can already tell I want you to be in my life, just as the day you were brought into it. Which is today, seventeen years ago. You have to accept it though, so if you don't want me to do it, then we won't. But if you're willing to allow me to become not just your biological mother, but also the Mother you deserve, I will gladly become that."

In the pit of her stomach Carter found butterflies, she couldn't believe that this was happening. Olivia wanted to adopt her, wanted to be a mother to her, and was willing to accept her. This had to be a dream. But yet, Carter had slept all day earlier, she knew she had to be awake for this. Running her fingers over the papers Carter looked up at Olivia and nodded, "... As long as you swear to never buy a mini van?"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at her daughter's sense of humor and nodded, "I swear to never buy a mini van." She replied, seeing the tears falling from Carter's cheeks, she placed an arm around Carter and pulled her close. She felt Carter respond quickly by wrapping her arms under hers, her head resting against her shoulder. They stayed that way, not wanting to take away from the moment of joy they shared. Olivia placed a small kiss on Carter's forehead and whispered, "Happy Birthday, sweetie!"

* * *

**A/N: Please, please, I beg of you to tell me what you think. You know what that means, review. please! **


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: I can't thank everyone enough who reviews this story, who favorites and who likes this story. It's been great, I really can't thank all of you enough for liking this story. Now please enjoy!_**

* * *

"We didn't have to go anywhere special, Olivia. Really I'm fine with just staying in. We can go-"

"It is a special day, Carter. I hope you know that," Olivia cut her daughter off as she they stepped into the restaurant, "which is why we are celebrating it with a nice dinner." She turned to the maître d' who stood at the entrance, she informed him of that they were the party of Benson. He quickly nodded grabbing two menus and let them follow him into the restaurant, as they passed by tables Carter wandered why they weren't being seated at a table with two seats, instead they were being directed into a back room, which looked to be for private dinning.

As they stepped inside Carter saw that it wasn't just going to be Olivia and her dinning tonight, three other people were here to join them. Nick Amaro, Amanda Rollins and Fin Tutuola sat at the table and looked up seeing the guest of honor was here. "Look who finally decided to show up," Nick said, getting up from his seat and making his way over to Carter.

Rollins stood up from her seat and placed her drink on the table, "Hey, give her some slack. It's her birthday after all." Amanda said as she followed suit, "Birthday girl, can be as late as she pleases." She greeted Carter with a hug and smiled gently. "But we were very close to ordering, Fin was getting grumpy. Which isn't very hard."

Olivia smirked as she removed her coat and placed it on the back of the chair, she chuckled seeing Fin still skimming the menu as he stood up from his seat. "Here, I thought he was a gentleman." She joked, receiving a glare from Fin himself.

Carter stood at the end of the table receiving hugs from the three of them and accepting her birthday wishes. Her eyes wandered around the small party room and she spotted birthday gifts on a small table in the corner, a few balloons joined them as well, and a tiara sat at the head of the table where Carter would be sitting it seemed like. She watched as everyone sat down and soon sat down herself, eyeing the plastic tiara she shook her head, "Please don't tell me I don't have to wear this."

"You will when we sing you happy birthday," Olivia joked, sitting next to her daughter. "Now I saw that in a store and I just thought it had you all over it, the pink glitter was the dead giveaway." She chuckled seeing her daughters playful glare and shook her head, "No, you don't have to wear it. But you will have to blow out some candles by the end of the night."

"Yeah, because we've been sitting here and thinking about cake. They've been stuffing us with breaksticks, it ain't helping." Fin said, keeping his eyes on the menu as he skimmed over what he would want.

They laughed at him and Carter ran her eyes over the menu as well, she bit her bottom lip and decided on the first meal she spotted. Once they ordered their food they asked Carter how school was going, which she replied normally, school was school. Though she was adjusting to the change of atmosphere Carter missed Jade. It wasn't normal for her to stop talking to her for this long of a period, she was used to speaking to her everyday and seeing her at least four times a week. Now she hadn't seen her in over a week.

Olivia watched as Carter discussed a few of her hobbies with Nick, Amanda, and Fin. The smile on her face causing her to smile as well, once seeing the real smile come to play in her life it was a feeling Olivia wished to never be rid of, this was her daughter and Olivia wanted to make sure that she would be as happy as possible. It was her seventeenth birthday and to Liv, it was more like a milestone for her as well. Never did she think would this child comeback into her life and become her own, Liv was assuring herself over the years that her child would be adopted and put into a good home, which now she was with her. It was difficult to believe, but Olivia wanted her daughter to call her 'Mom' which she knew wouldn't happen for a little while longer, she just hoped it would one day.

"Alright, now... I have a little announcement to make." Liv said as she took a quick sip of her water, she felt the conversation they were having die down as they turned their attention to her. "These past two weeks have been quite a shell-shock in a wonderful way. And now that I have everyone here with me, except Cragen because he couldn't make it tonight. I wanted to let everyone know that... hopefully, by the end of this month. Carter will become apart of my life for good."

The three other detectives clapped and got up from their seats giving Carter and Liv a hug once more, it was a happy thing to celebrate and it wasn't supposed to be taken for granted. Amanda pulled Carter into a warm hug and kissed the side of her cheek, she knew what this meant to Carter by the smile on her face it was a coy, but the look in her eyes said it all. "Welcome to this crazy deluded family, you'll learn to love." She said to Carter, "I hope." Amanda whispered to her, causing Carter to laugh.

Liv gave thank you's to Fin and Nick as they kissed her cheek. As they sat back down in their seat Olivia said, "Which means you all will have to accept her." Olivia looked back at Carter who had red cheeks and chuckled at her comment, "I know how difficult that will be for all of you, since you can hardly accept me but I don't think she's that hard to accept." She placed a hand on Carter's that was resting on the table.

Carter raised an eyebrow and smirked at Olivia, "I would hope not. Though I don't blame you all for not accepting her yet, she's quite pushy." Carter joked, they chuckled at her and Olivia rolled her eyes at the comment. "No offense."

Fin took another breadstick and began tearing it apart, "Won't be long before Carter comes into the squad room and I mistake her for Liv."

"I already have, she answered Olivia's phone today and without thinking I thought it was her. Great impression though, I gotta say." Nick turned his attention to Carter giving her a smirk as he laughed, "She even said 'Benson' to make me believable. I thought I would be able to tell the difference."

Carter side glanced at Olivia as she received a small wink from her, it was more an approval for what they were doing. She could hardly believe this is what they were doing, celebrating her birthday at a restaurant with people who truly cared about her and would grow to care more with time. It wasn't something Carter was even used to seeing, but now she had it with her grasp. She didn't want to let it go.

"... So will we be doing this in a few days for you, Liv. It's your birthday soon after all..." Amanda asked, raising her glass full of diet cook to her lips to steal a sip. She knew Olivia wasn't big on celebrating anything on her, but it was going to be this year. She had Carter in her life now.

Olivia watched Carter turn her head to glance at her and she quickly asked, "It's your birthday this month?" She was taken back by hearing that. "When?" She wanted to know desperately, she could hardly believe that they shared the same birth month.

"December thirteenth. So in a few days, yes." Olivia sent a glare Amanda's way and shook her head, "But we really don't need any celebrating for that, it's your birthday. Which is even better." She watched Carter roll her eyes and reach across the table to grab the tiara.

"Now, this will fit you perfectly in a few days. I'll make sure to save it, we need to save it, Amanda." Carter quickly handed it to Amanda, to keep it from her mother's grasp. "After all, birthday's are special days. You'll be queen for the day." She heard Fin and Nick laugh as they already knew Olivia wouldn't like that. Amanda took the crown and hid it under her seat, a hidden smirk growing on her face.

"Yes... and as queen I would ground you to your room." Olivia playfully nudged her daughter with her foot under the table, receiving a smile in response knowing the playful quips they were throwing at one another. "Please, don't ever call me queen again." She held her hands up and grabbed her dinner napkin and placed it in her lap.

Carter shrugged her shoulders and saw that the food was making its way over to them, "I can't help it. I'm not the one being forced to wear a tiara." She leaned back in her seat and nudged Olivia back with her foot.

Once they were served their food Carter began to cut up the grilled chicken, she was listening to the four of them run over a case they had just wrapped up. She glanced up from the table and watched as a couple walked past them, the wife completely ignored them as they did, but the husband's eyes glanced briefly over at them only to do a double take as he stopped a few feet away from their table. His hazel eyes stopped on Carter, causing her to feel uncomfortable by the way he stared at her and then on Olivia, the look of shock in his eyes as he came to a halt, his wife and the maitre d kept walking to the back of the restaurant. His eyes stayed fixed on Olivia and he ran his hand over his mouth, his tense body language caused Carter to placed her knife and fork down.

He still stood there in the middle of the restaurant watching them, it was as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing, though the confusion to Carter was growing as she went to stand up from her seat. Only for his eyes to meet with hers again, he quickly turned the other way and began to exit the restaurant leaving. He seemed all too familiar to Carter, the strange feeling in her gut told her to follow him.

"I'll be right back, I gotta use the bathroom." She excused herself and kept her eyes fixed on the man making his way out. She walked as fast as she could past the waiters carrying trays, she knew how to dart past people it came as a skill after stealing food and running through the park. Seeing him grab his coat, she darted past the last few tables and ran to meet him at the door, however he was already out the door by that time. She could see through the clear glass windows that he was standing on the sidewalk stepping into a cab.

Carter pushed open the door running out onto the sidewalk, "Wait!" She exclaimed, the door to the cab shut and it speed off before she had the time to call out again. Seeing the headlights of the cab drive further into the Manhattan streets Carter knew it wasn't worth it to run after it, but she wanted nothing more to do that. The way he stared at Olivia then at her, she knew something was up the minute their eyes meet.

Running her fingers through her hair Carter told herself to nudge Olivia and have her glance at the man, wanting to know what was so strange about him. It was far too weird. She couldn't understand it. Looking back at the restaurant doors Carter stepped inside once more and fixed her outfit before returning to the table to finish her dinner.

* * *

The dinner was paid for and the presents were taken to Liv's apartment, the cake was in the fridge there and would be candle ready for Carter by the time the stroke of ten a clock. Takeout boxes were stacked on one another in her kitchen as Carter was being forced to sit on the floor in the living room in front of the coffee table, she laughed watching them try to sneakily take the cake out of the fridge and light candles.

Amanda sat next to her and handed her a happy birthday hat that she then placed another one on her own head, "I'm being paid for this, just to let you know."

Carter smirked and reluctantly placed the hat on her head as well, "Let's hope I do too, because these things were never comfortable." She chuckled. She could hear the lighter being lit in the kitchen and leaned her back against the couch. "Ten bucks say the candles met before it gets here."

"They will not melt." Olivia called out to her, "They will be perfectly fine and lit." She placed a party hat on as well before handing one to Fin and Amaro. Fin placed his on his arm rather than his head, and Amaro being the fatherly guy he was placed it on his head as well.

Fin walked over to the light switch and quickly flipped them off, soon Carter saw Olivia step out of the kitchen with the cake in her hands, the light guiding her was the candles on the cake. Placing the cake on the table Olivia smiled looking up at Carter, "Alright now we sing happy birthday on three, one, two, three." They then began to sing the traditional happy birthday song as Olivia took her phone camera out and began to take pictures of the moment. The smile on her daughters face as she looked around the room at the people singing happy birthday to her. Olivia snapped as many pictures as she could before recording the end of the song for when Carter blew out the candles.

Carter leaned over the cake and began to blow out the candles, all seventeen of them and did her best by trying to get them all at the same time, but the one on the corner of the cake was one she missed and it caused Nick to point and say, "Gotta get that last one or it can't come true." Carter looked up at him and eyed the people surrounding her. In her mind this was perfection, all she ever wanted in life was a family to love her, now that she had it, she didn't want to let it go. This was her wish since she was five years old.

"I think it already has..." Carter whispered, before bending over and blowing out the last candle.

By the time that cake was cut and eaten the three other detectives knew they had work tomorrow and left, not before giving Carter a hug and wishing her a happy birthday for a second time. Carter sat on the couch with her second piece of cake in her lap and once hearing the door close she shook her head, "There is one thing good about birthdays. You have an excuse to eat as much cake as you want," She leaned back into the couch and placed a forkful of cake in her mouth before watching Olivia sit down next to her, "That and the ridiculous hats." She slipped hers off before throwing it on the coffee table.

Olivia laughed at her comment and slipped off her shoes before relaxing back into the couch, "I hope you enjoyed it, it's what I wanted you to do throughout it all. Including the silly hats," She pointed to the other four that joined hers now on the coffee table, "... You were born just before the stroke of midnight. You know that?" She sighed thinking back to that day.

"I enjoyed it, very much. Thank you, Olivia." Carter picked at the icing off the cake and licked it off her fork, she turned her head to look at Olivia and smirked, "Really? How long were you in labor for?" She asked. She had never heard any stories about her mothers labor, until now which made her perk up.

"Twenty-eight hours." Liv replied, laughing at herself now. It causing Carter to laugh as well. "You were being so stubborn, moving this way moving the other, the doctors wanted to go in and get you by doing a c-section. I didn't want that, I knew I was going to have to have drugs if so. I had already made it clear I wasn't going to do that. I knew you would come out when you were ready. Which took twenty hours before you decided you were. The pain wasn't as bad I thought it would be, but it wasn't pleasant. I tried focusing more on getting you out of me, because you didn't stop moving."

Sticking the fork in the middle of the slice of cake Carter smirked, "Yeah. I've heard I move around at night, which might be the reason why I moved around so much." She smiled gently and sighed, "But you do too, you kicked me at least twice when you slept with me last week." Carter pointed out to Olivia.

"You hog the covers, what did you expect?" Olivia laughed along with Carter as they sat there in the living room. "But no... when you were born I got to see you and hold you for a few hours before they took you away. I was afraid I would break you if I held you too tight, your fragile little hand wrapped around my finger and I just kept telling myself I was doing the right thing by giving you up, I wanted that for you. A family with a mother and a father. I was on my own and didn't have the stablilty to raise a child on my own, it wouldn't be right. But you were wrapped in that pink swaddle and just smiled in your sleep, you hardly cried."

Carter listened to Olivia explain the story of her birth intently, not wanting to forget any of this. She had always heard stories about her as a child, but never about the birth. It was interesting she was hearing about it the day of her birthday, she kept her eyes on Olivia as she explained herself more.

"You reminded me of those perfect baby dolls that every little girl seemed to want as a child, I could hardly believe that you came from me because you were so beautiful. The soft hair on top of your head was dark brown, but it stuck up which made me laugh. The nurses put a little beanie on your head and it covered it up, it was used to keep you warm." Olivia looked down at her lap before looking up to meet eyes with her daughter, "I was just happy that you were in my arms and healthy. You cried when they took you away, you held onto my finger and didn't want to let go. And I didn't want you to."

Olivia gained tears in her eyes as she thought back to that moment, knowing the heartbreak she cuffed from that. Locking herself up in her room for a few days before finding the courage to come out and face what had happened, she couldn't control it. Now she had Carter in her life and she wasn't going to ever let Carter's hand slip away from her again.

"And now you have me in your life and I have you in mine." Olivia kept her eyes on Carter and wiped her tears away. "And you still are that fragile little girl, just grown up. I just hope you don't grow up too fast now, I've already had to deal with seventeen." She chuckled and pressed a kiss on Carter's head. "But I only have to wait a year until eighteen."

"Which won't be long," Carter tried teasing Olivia and smiled as she placed her plate down on the table, she then turned to face Olivia and slowly inched herself closer before wrapping her arms around her. She kept the embrace tight and rested her chin on her shoulder, not wanting to break the hug. She felt tears enter her own eyes as she could feel the love with every moment she spent with Olivia, she was her mother and she couldn't believe that Olivia was now accepting her into her life forever. "... I love you!" She whispered.

Olivia could see Carter inching herself closer to her, her arms wrapped around Olivia causing her to respond, she wrapped her arms around Carter bringing her closer. She could feel her daughter's nervous heart pounding in her chest and chuckle, she knew this was a big step for Carter to take, Olivia felt as if she was really accepting her. Then when she heard her say 'I love you,' that caused tears to well up in her own eyes one more. It was a big step for the both of them, especially Carter, she was breaking down a wall Olivia was scared would never budge, but now it was clear it was making it's way there.

"I love you too, Carter."

* * *

Hazel eyes stared up at the window of the apartment complex he stood in front of, he watched the lights flick off and knew that the time most likely was around midnight by now. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, his wife must've called his ten times by now, he knew he would have to answer sometime but it wouldn't be at this second. The young girl looked so much like the mother that he could hardly believe it, that was the thing that caused him to freeze in the middle of that restaurant in the first place, then her mother looked the same as she did when they met. It caused him to regret the things in the past and want to rewind and start over.

Though he was standing in the now and in front of the apartment complex that he knew. He didn't want to leave, knowing once he did he would turn his back yet again. He couldn't find the courage to step up to the door and buzz himself in, it wasn't possible, knowing the pain he had caused before was the only thing keeping him back. Looking at the window he saw her familiar face appear in the window, she was still as beautiful as the day when he first met her. She began to pull the curtains over them, blocking them from the morning sun that would rise in the morning to come. He turned his back to her so he wouldn't catch his stare and waited a few seconds to turn back around.

Once he did he saw the curtains were covering the windows and began to slowly walk towards the street corner to hail a cab, he could feel his phone vibrating yet again and he quickly took it out and turned it off. He got himself a cab within a few minutes and gave him directions to a hotel, knowing if he came home tonight it would be just another thing for her to fight with him about. The young girls eyes were burned in the back of his mind, he knew exactly who she was the moment he looked at the mother. He just hoped that she didn't know who he was.

* * *

**_A/N: A mystery. I love it, I hoped you like it. Please review. _**


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Well, it's been a good time for this story to skip ahead, I decided to do so now. I hope you enjoy this. **_

* * *

Five months had come and gone through the time from December to May, the snow was melting and the sun was shinning, however the warm summer breeze weather still carried in New York City. Holidays had gone by and through that time families clung to one another enjoying the time by staying together, then New Years rung and new years were for new beginnings, which is what families across the world hoped for. Including a simple one Olivia and Carter. It consisted of a few simple things, getting through the holidays without crying and getting approved by social services for the past few weeks doing check ins with Olivia. Jane informed them that it was looking promising and it would be simple for them to get approved.

Carter was staying in school and doing quite well with her grades, studying when she could and doing her best to keep them at an A and B level. Olivia was proud of her daughter encouraging her throughout the year, she was proud to see how mature she was growing in the amount of three months time. For Carter having someone behind her and encouraging her on everything in life, it was a feeling that Carter wanted to have for so many years, now she had it. With Olivia Cater saw more of herself in her mother, she didn't know what it was like to have a mother until now, but yet she saw the similarities. When Carter was bothered by something even the slightest she couldn't fall asleep, she began to notice Olivia did the same, toss and turn all night when a case was bothering her.

The past few months had been a whirlwind of events, between Olivia's birthday, Christmas, New Years. All celebrated in a time where Carter wasn't used to having holiday cheer around her, however this year seemed to be a different shift in moods for both Carter and Olivia. For the first time they got the chance to experience this together as a family. Which of course caused both Carter and Olivia to cry.

Carter had yet to hear from Jade, which worried her. Usually when a fight would happen between the two they would at least speak after a few weeks, but now it had been going on five months. She had no way in getting in contact with her. She longed to see the friend she had known since she was a child. Olivia knew Carter longed to see her friend as well, but didn't want to force the girls to talk that was one lesson she already knew not to do. Instead, she would wait until they were both ready and open to speaking to one another.

Winter had melted away and Summer was approaching, snow was mostly gone and Spring had come and gone. It had been a heavy winter and a long one at that, wasn't anything hot coco and thick winter coats couldn't fix.

While working during this time Olivia did everything she could to make sure Carter was comfortable, they had moved one floor up to a two bedroom apartment, which was comfortable for the both of them. Carter's room was connected to Olivia's by a bathroom which they shared, neither of them minded seeing as they both didn't take up time in there. It had been a few weeks since Jane, the social worker had come to approve of the apartment, which Olivia passed with flying colors. Papers were signed and everything seemed to falling into place for the both of them.

On a morning early Thursday morning Carter would've been getting dressed for school, however the clock on the wall in her bedroom said she was already running thirty minutes late. She was missing school today, except it wasn't to skip school this time. She sat at the end of her bed putting on the wedged boots she was borrowing from Olivia, once they were on she stood up from the bed, dusting off the back of her jeans before looking over her outfit in the mirror. She hoped this was nice enough for the appointment they had today.

Glancing back at Olivia who stood in the bathroom blow drying her hair. Once she was done she placed the hair dryer down and unplugged it before turning to face Carter who was standing in the doorway, Olivia smiled gently at how nice Carter looked in the outfit she had picked out earlier this week, "You look beautiful," Olivia told her.

Carter quickly laughed at her comment and shook her head, "Thank you, but it's nothing special. Just the shoes give me lift, which is nice because I'm now close to your height." She smirked.

"Oh, is that the only reason you like them?" Olivia joked, stepping out of the bathroom grabbing her coat that was resting on the bed. She glanced at the clock on the wall before saying, "We better get going if we wanna be there in time." She grabbed her badge before slipping her phone in her back pocket.

Carter quickly grabbed her coat as well and as they made their way to the elevator Olivia could see Carter was continuously playing with the bottom of her sweater, all while tapping her fingers along her jeans. "Carter, are you ready for this?" Olivia asked, before pressing the lobby button to the elevator.

As the doors shut to the elevator and they waited to arrive downstairs, Carter turned to Olivia and chuckled at her question. It was obvious to herself as well as Olivia that she was nervous about today, between the three months spent in this time Carter felt as if she would be waking up from a dream in any moment and realize it wasn't reality. She nodded, allowing her hands to slip into the pockets of her coat, "I think I've been ready."

* * *

"To be quite frank with the two of you, if I was to go back five- well almost six months ago now and say that I would granting this motion of parental rights to be reinstated... I would say you would be lying. In all of my years of being in this court room, I don't believe I've even heard of it here. I've seen a lot of heartache and disappointment due to a '_judges hunch_' as I call it. However, in this apparent case it seems that my gut feeling has seemed to be right all along. Because here we are four months later and I'm having the pleasure of witnessing it for the first time in all of my twenty years here."

Olivia and Carter stood a few feet away from the judges bench, standing next to one another as they both had their gaze on Judge Linden, they were joined in the courtroom by Jane who was standing to their left with Carter's papers. Carter's hands slightly shook by her sides as she tried to calm herself down from feeling nervous from being in this courtroom, when only a few months ago she stood here for emancipation.

After these months the two of them couldn't imagine not having one another in their life, though it was still a working progress for Carter to get used to having a parental figure, but the more she saw how motherly Olivia was. The more she grew closer to Olivia. Carter had only heard stories of parents and how strict they were, now she experiencing it all and she didn't want it any other way.

It wasn't long before Olivia noticed how nervous her daughters shaky hands, she quickly took Carter's hand in hers before giving it a gentle squeeze. That caused Carter to glance back at Olivia before giving a small smile and turning back to Linden, who reached out for the papers from Jane. Once they were in her hand Linden slipped her glasses on before signing the papers.

"The state of New York finds that it is in the best interest of Carter Benson to have her to have the rights of her biological mother reinstated." Linden glanced up at Carter before saying, "Carter, you're no longer a warrant of the state. Full custody has been granted to Olivia Benson. Congratulations to you two. You're a family."

The sound of the judge gavel was when Olivia and Carter turned to one another, both of them having tears in their eyes as the judge now confirmed that Olivia had full custody of Carter. Carter quickly wiped her tears away from her eyes before laughing at Olivia's smile, it seemed like a daze. After all these years she got the chance to have a mother she fully deserved.

The two quickly hugged one another as they realized these four months were over and they finally got the chance to have a family, they no longer needed to have checkins with Jane, nor have to struggle to get Carter checked by a doctor which happened last month. Olivia now had the legal right as her mother evermore, both of them taking it in was the moment the two puled away and laughed as they wiped the tears from their cheeks.

"I told myself I wouldn't cry," Carter whispered, before using her hands to wipe away the fallen tears. "I always seem to do the opposite of what I tell myself." She then became flushed and immediately covered her cheeks.

"You always seem to do the opposite of what I tell you as well," Olivia joked, before nudging her daughter and receiving a glare from her. Feeling a tap on her shoulder, Olivia turned to see Jane, she then held out papers for Olivia.

Jane held the case file in her hands before reaching out to hand them to Olivia Benson, she sighed before placing them in her hands and saying, "I believe these are yours. You can keep these files, I already have the ones the judge signed. I keep those until Carter turns eighteen." She explained. As Olivia nodded and took the papers Jane smiled at Carter, "I'm glad you finally get the home you've always wanted. Just stay there," Jane laughed.

Carter watched as Jane explained the files to Olivia, she eyed it as it was tucked under Olivia's arm, wandering what could've been in there. Then she looked up towards Jane and chuckled as well, "I don't think I will be leaving her home anytime soon." She glanced at Olivia before stepping closer to Jane and giving her one last hug. After all the years she had known Jane, she had to have been the best social worker, she cared more then anyone in her life at the time, even after her social worker changed multiple times, Jane kept in touch. "... Thank you." She whispered.

"You're welcome." Jane whispered back, after a few more seconds she then pulled away and grabbed her briefcase. "I should be going, I've got another case across the hall in fifteen minutes." She glanced at Olivia and smirked, "Good-luck with her, she's quite likable once you get to know her." Jane said as she made her way to the doors and left the courtroom.

Olivia couldn't help but smile at Jane's comment and turned to Carter, holding her hand out she gestured for her to follow. Carter walked next to Olivia as they made their way out of the courtroom and the courthouse, the two were silent but it wasn't the awkward silence they were used to. In fact it was the silence that the two didn't care to fill. As the two made their way back to the apartment Carter was dozing off as they were stuck in traffic, she hadn't slept the night before. It didn't go unnoticed by Olivia who laughed once seeing Carter leaned back in the seat and fall asleep.

Carter however, woke up once hearing the car cut off. She was shocked to see they weren't back at the apartment, but parked in front of the precinct. She yawned and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands, unbuckling her seatbelt Carter asked Olivia why they were there, when Olivia simply smiled and got out of the car making her way inside. Which was soon followed by the sluggish Carter Benson.

As they stood in the elevator Carter leaned against the wall and did her best to keep herself awake, but was unsuccessful once the doors opened to the sixteenth precinct. Carter followed Olivia inside and was surprised to see Olivia's desk with a few balloons and a cake, 'Congratulations' written on the balloons and cake. It came as a surprise to Carter as she heard clapping coming from around the office, she saw Nick, Amanda and Fin getting up from their desk to greet them.

"Mother and daughter have arrived." Nick announced as he walked up to Olivia first and hugged her, congratulating her on the official papers coming through, before turning to Carter and doing the same. "You were already apart of this, but now you're officialy one of our own." He smirked, as he hugged the young girl.

Carter smiled as she returned the hug, then she received a hug from Fin and Amanda as well. She had become more comfortable around the three of them in the past few months, she had spent time at the precinct before, mostly at Olivia's desk doing homework, or at Amanda's desk. This had become a second home to her, which is one of the reasons why they were celebrating here.

"The only reason we didn't go to the apartment and celebrate there is... we're on the clock." Amanda said, nudging Carter as she sat on the edge of Liv's desk. "But this is practically a second home for all of us, so we thought if we get a cake and balloons, what could the harm do?" She began taking out plates for and plastic silverware.

"Get icing on paperwork." Donald Cragen said, "You already struggle with coffee, we don't need anything more than that." He smirked stepping out of his office and smiled as he saw Olivia and Carter. He had given Olivia the morning off due to the court, but he had to have her the rest of the evening. "It went well I'm assuming?"

Olivia removed her coat and hung it behind her seat before saying, "Very well," She replied, before allowing Fin to eagerly open the cake that was on her desk. "Guys, you didn't have to get the cake. The balloons were a nice gesture though." Olivia joked, pulling up and empty chair to allow Carter to sit down next to her.

"We will take that as a 'thank you.'" Cragen chuckled, he placed his hand on Carter's shoulder giving a smile before saying, "After the cake get back to work." He then turned on his heel and made his way back into his office.

Nick reached out for a slice of cake as Cragen left them, he then whispered under his breath, "Always such a joy." He joked, causing Olivia to laugh. "So, you enjoy skipping school today?"

Carter was serving herself coffee when she heard Nick's question. She took her hot coffee to her mother's desk before she sat down in the chair Olivia pulled up for her and shrugged her shoulders, "That was a good thing that happened today." She joked, "But I already have my work for today to do tonight, I'm looking forward to it." She added a sarcastic tone to her voice.

"Speaking of..." Olivia turned to glance at Carter and the coffee in her hands, "After cake I gotta take you back home to finish all of it. I've got a long few days ahead of me, seeing as paperwork filled up." She gestured to the stack of papers at the corner of her desk. "But you can chat with them for a few minutes and enjoy the cake. While I go get some caffeine." Olivia said, as she stood up from her swivel chair and made her way to get coffee.

As Amanda placed the piece of cake in front of Carter, she then took Liv's spot as she was gone. "Hope you like it, cake and coffee is always a good mixture." She smiled, taking a bite of the small piece of cake she had.

"... Is that all you're having? You gave me this huge piece." Carter held up the rather large slice of chocolate cake, "This is my healthy nutrious breakfast." She glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it was close to eleven now.

Amanda Rollins quickly shook her head, "You're seventeen, sweetie. You can bounce back easily from a slice of cake, however me. That hasn't happened for quite a while." She heard Fin laugh and he quickly covered it up by coughing. "Thanks Fin."

Carter took a few sips of coffee enjoying the dark roast before having the cake, "Yes, but you run. Which I'm not. I know you and Frannie go for runs in the park. I'm sure you will be enjoying that this weekend. The weather is warmer and no more ice. It'll be June before we know it." She used her fork to scoop off the icing before eating it.

"I was actually planning on going to take the kids to the park Sunday. God knows they need some energy to burn off." Nick joked, picking at the piece of cake before glancing down at his phone. "Plus, Zara has been begging for me to teach her how to catch."

Fin then chimed in with his plans for Sunday's sunny weather, "Well, I'm planning on staying home and watching baseball from behind a tv screen, should be exciting." He joked, his excitement however was rather under the weather.

"Sounds like you all will have a fun time." Carter noticed Olivia making her way back towards her desk, she took a few more bites before grabbing her jacket. "Well, thank you for the cake and the balloons, really it's... nice to celebrate." She threw her empty plate in the trash bin by Olivia's desk before saying goodbye to each of them. As she made her way to the elevator Carter knew they were here family, if she ever needed help they would be the first to arrive, just like Olivia.

* * *

After a long evening of paperwork and typing everything into her computer Olivia Benson was just happy to step into her apartment without falling into her couch, she had made that an old habit, now mostly sleeping in her bedroom. Once inside Olivia noticed the kitchen light was on and the tv going in the living room, most likely Carter left it on as it was one way she kept sane while home alone with it quiet. She placed the paperwork from Carter's hearing earlier that day on the counter in the kitchen before grabbing the tv remote and turning it off, she then made her way to Carter's room. It was almost midnight and Olivia wasn't surprised to see the teenager resting in her bed, asleep with a textbook and notebook by her sides. The lamp by her bedside table was on and her cellphone resting on the charger.

It was refreshing to see her daughter was asleep rather then having her awake from a late night cram session of studying, she was careful making her way inside her daughters bedroom and removing the books and notebooks from her lap. It wasn't long before Olivia was left sitting at her daughter's bedside watching as she slept, when Olivia placed the duvet over Carter, she immediately tucked it under her chin and relaxed.

Her mind thought back to earlier events, now thinking of the court case today. She could feel Carter's hand squeezing hers as she was nervous, yet the excitement was evident to Olivia. When the judge granted Olivia full custody it was as if a heavy burden was lifted off her shoulders, after working for this Olivia and Carter were finally getting the happy ending they both rightfully deserved. However, Olivia knew she didn't need a piece of paper for her to know that Carter was her daughter, she could easily feel that in her heart.

Olivia watched as her daughter began to mumble in her sleep and it caused her to think back to when she was a newborn in her arms. She was so little and would curl against anyone who was holding her, but when Olivia held her she didn't let go of her finger, even when she was asleep. In those two hours Olivia witnessed such innocence in her daughter, wanting to protect her and love her and do the best by her. It was difficult choice, but giving her up seemed to be the best choice at the time.

Now years later here she was by her daughters side and she didn't long to leave her, after these four months Olivia had fallen in love with her daughter. It was a love she knew that was unlike any other, one that could never be broken. Olivia would do anything for her daughter, which was the reason she said yes to taking her in five months ago. Unconditional love was the only way to explain it. The moment Olivia held the little newborn baby girl in her arms, she swore to love her.

Sitting there on the side of her bed Olivia smiled as she slowly got up from her bed and turned the lamp off, the room then turning dark as the curtains to her bedroom were closed as well. Olivia made her way to the bathroom that connected their bedrooms and got undressed, before brushing her teeth and making her way to her bedroom. Turning off the bathroom light Olivia crawled into her bed before turning off the lamp by her bed as well, she removed some pillows before falling back into her bed completely.

Once she did Olivia began to think of tomorrow, knowing she would have to get up and take Carter to school before going to work. At this rate she was hoping for it to be Sunday. It wouldn't be long beforehand, but she would be able to enjoy a Sunday with Carter in the apartment, which hadn't been done since moving in. She was looking forward to having a day off and not thinking about the week ahead of them.

Summer was around the corner, the only thing Olivia wasn't looking forward to was the heat.

* * *

_**A/N: Well, I skipped five months. But it's for a good reason I swear. If you can't catch it by now, it's hopping to a big episode that will be in the next chapter. I'm really excited for it. I hope you all are too. It has to do with a particular Sunday that everyone was supposed to have off... but something happens and the team is forced to come in on their day off. Do you know where I'm going with this?! Anyway, please review and tell me how it is. **_

_**By the way, Happy New Year and Merry Christmas. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. **_


	10. Chapter 10

It had been the first weekend in May that the sun had been shinning in the sky, due to the wet and gloomy weather that had carried throughout Spring days, most all of New York took the opportunity to take their families out to enjoy it. Throughout this time Carter woke up to the smell of coffee, she was glad the curtains were closed in her room because at this point if she had the sun in her eyes in the morning, she would've hated it. Once she was out of bed Carter stepped out of her bedroom, she saw Olivia standing in the kitchen pouring coffee into mugs. However, Carter blinked a few times as the sun from the morning sky caused her to cover her eyes at first.

Out of the corner of her eyes Olivia spotted Carter making her way out of her bedroom, she raised an eyebrow as she saw her cover her eyes with the contact of the light outside, "Tired?" Olivia asked, before turning to grab another coffee mug from the cabinet. Hearing her mumble something Olivia took that as a yes, then poured another cup of coffee for her. "Assuming you're very tired, there is a full cup of black coffee." She grabbed both mugs and made her way to the couch.

Carter had stayed up late last night watching movies as her and Liv had planned a movie night, however Liv had fallen asleep halfway through it, when it was finally done it was close to midnight. She was just lucky to make it to her bed without falling asleep before. Brushing her hair back away from her face Olivia made her way to the couch and sat down next to Carter, taking the mug of coffee, not caring to wait she took a small sip before saying. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Olivia smirked, to her it was evident that her daughter was still sleepy, but nothing a cup of coffee couldn't fix. "Rough night? Couldn't have that much too drink, I hope." She joked before taking a sip of her coffee and relaxing back into the couch.

Cater couldn't help but laugh at her mother's comment and smirked, "I didn't have anything. Just wasn't such a smart idea to stay up until midnight watching movies. I swear, I'm not doing that again." She enjoyed the warm coffee before turning to face Olivia, "You must've sleep well, after all you went to sleep before the movie even started, the credits were still rolling."

"If you would've seen the amount of paperwork I did on Friday night, believe me. You would've done the same." Olivia quickly said. She could see her daughter yawning as she sipped on the cup of coffee and hoped it would help wake her up, but an idea quickly came to mind. "... Why don't we get dressed and head out for brunch?" She knew Carter had to be tired and a nice day out wouldn't be bad to wake up to.

"Brunch? That's where it's breakfast and lunch mixed together, right?" Carter asked as she kept her hands on her warm mug. Olivia replied with a nod as she took a few sips of her coffee, Carter wanted to do something outside the apartment today and this was the time. "Sounds good to me. The only thing I don't want to do is get dressed, think it would be bad if I go in my pajamas?"

* * *

It wasn't long before the two Benson's were dressed for the day and made their way down the street to the restaurant, it was warm outside, yet the Spring breeze still carried throughout New York causing everyone to come out from their apartments and enjoy the day. Olivia was looking forward to spending the day with Carter, after all the time she had spent at work earlier in the week it would've been nice to have time with her. The judge granted Olivia custody Thursday and it was a relief to both of them, they were now back in each others lives for good.

As they sat down at a table Carter looked around noting they were busy, mostly because it was almost eleven'a clock and people were just coming back from church or gatherings with friends. Once they got their menu's Olivia looked down at hers and sighed, debating on ordering herself a mimosa, she wasn't on the clock and it was only a little champagne. She glanced up at Carter and smirked, seeing the confusion on her face. "If you're looking for the nonalcoholic drinks they're on the next page. By the kids menu."

Carter looked up at Olivia as she explained where the drinks were, "Oh... No, I was planning on ordering a cocktail," She teased before quickly saying, "Virgin of course. Actually, I was planning on getting the raspberry lemonade. Sounds good enough."

Olivia knew it was a joke, but considered her mother's past history with alcohol. She sighed heavily placing her menu down as the waiter came, once they ordered their drinks, Olivia didn't know whether or not to bring up Serena. It was a touchy subject for Olivia after all the abuse she had from her mother, not knowing if after all this time she loved her.

The stare that Olivia carried didn't go unnoticed by Carter, she soon realized that she had lost her train of thought and was starring out the window. "... You okay?" Carter asked tilting her head, as she rested her hands in her lap.

Her daughters voice brought her out of the stare and her mind racing, she looked up to meet her daughters gaze and smiled gently. "Yeah... Don't worry, I'm fine." She nodded grabbing the napkin and resting it in her lap. She decided to not bring Serena up as it was going to be a good day and they would make the best of it. "What are you planning on getting?" She asked.

"Umm," Carter looked back down at her menu before biting her bottom lip, she didn't know what most of these dishes were, but once she spotted something she quickly said. "I don't think there are pancakes on here, but the closest thing is waffles with eggs and bacon." She looked up at Olivia and laughed, "Let's hope it's good."

Olivia laughed at Carter's comment and opened her own menu looking over it as well, "I was thinking about getting the quiche. But... the waffles sound more delicious then any eggs." She flipped threw the menu wanting to see what else was there. "I... I wanted to tell you something. It's about your friend, Jade."

Placing her menu down Carter looked around for their water growing thirsty, but the moment she mentioned Jade, Carter quickly looked back at Olivia. "Jade? Is she alright? She's okay, right?" The panic quickly being heard in her voice.

"She's alright. She's just fine," Olivia reassured her daughter before telling her the other half of the news. "I contacted Jane, your old social worker and had her search for Jade's whereabouts. Once she got back to me with a number and location, I made sure that it was her real number. Sure enough, it was. Jade's living about an hour out of Manhattan, she's been trying to get a hold of you. She didn't know if you were still upset with her, which is why she has hasn't contacted you in the past few months."

Carter was taken back by Olivia's sudden subject of Jade, she didn't expect for her to say anything like that, but now hearing that Jade wanted to contact her it made her long for the friend back. As the waiter brought over their drinks Carter glanced down at her hands before looking back up at Olivia, in her gut Carter wanted to believe Jade wanted to be back in her life, but after what she did it was difficult to trust.

Once the waiter was gone Olivia noticed Carter's silence had last for a while, a stern look was on her face as she stared at the drinks. She knew she had to say something to her daughter, she had a feeling the doubt in her mind would be settling in and it would only make her question all of it. "I know you were hurt by her actions, Carter. I would've been as well. You've known one another since you were seven and I don't believe that your friendship should end because of a mistake that Jade made. She's very sorry for what she did, when I last spoke to her she was very vocal to me about that." Olivia said, looking at Carter before reaching under the table to place her hand on top of Carters, "I will be behind you if you choose to speak to her or if you don't. Whatever you decide."

The gentle squeeze of Olivia's hand was reassuring to Carter that her mother didn't blame Jade nor her for the mess that happened months ago, she knew it would be difficult to forgive Jade, but ten years of friendship deserved a second chance. Taking a deep breath Carter gave a small smile, "Then will you send me her number when you get the chance?" She asked.

"I'll send it to you right now." Olivia removed her hand from Carter's and reached for her phone, as she began to go through the contacts. The waiter came back to ask for the order while Olivia got cut off by her phone ringing, it was Amanda. "I'll have what she's having," Olivia quickly said before answering the phone. She was shocked to hear from her colleague on a Sunday they were to have off, Liv tried reasoning with Amanda, but it was no use when Amanda told her that she was needed.

Carter handed the menu's to the waiter and watched as Liv's face immediately went from joy to to shock, she knew that it meant that a case was forming in just a few seconds. Before she could axe the order the waiter was going to put the order in, turning back to the table Carter could tell Olivia was upset. "... I'm guessing you have a case?"

Olivia could see Carter was saddened by the news, which the look in her daughters eyes broke her heart. "... I'm sorry, Carter. I wanted to enjoy the day with-"

"It's okay. Duty calls. I tried to tell him that we had to leave, what use is it to pay for uncooked food?" Carter reached to grab her drink before looking around for the waiter.

"No... no, we will get the food to go and take it back to the precinct. Enjoy it there." Olivia explained to Carter, "I know you don't want to spend another day in the apartment and hopefully Amanda has some of the simple things already done when we get there." Liv ordered the food to-go and asked for the ticket to go ahead and speed things along.

* * *

Information about the perp was given out to the detectives as they sat around their desks catching up on what Amanda was bringing them in for, little details about William Lewis was known however, Amanda wanted to figure out what. Captain Cragen gave out orders for all to follow as he made his way to the office to interview Alice Parker. Olivia pushed herself off her desk and turned to look at Carter who was getting a drink from the vending machine down the hall, placing the food on her desk Olivia heard Amaro make his way to take the perp to the integration room.

Placing the to go boxes out on the desk Olivia began to sneak a piece of toast before going in for the integration, she didn't have time to have a bite after being called in. She just hoped she would have time afterwards.

Carter came back to the desk with two drinks in one hand and a few quarters in the other, "Do I get the pleasure of having lunch with you?" She asked seeing the Olivia was setting out food. "If not that's okay, I can just enjoy it and bask in the smell of coffee and sleep deprivation." She joked.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at Carter's sense of humor before shaking her head, "I have to go talk to a perp before I can join you, but until then," Olivia pulled out her swivel chair for Carter to sit in and continued, "I would like for you to sit down and enjoy your lunch, I know it's probably slightly cold, but there is a microwave over there if you need it." She pointed everything out for her before turning to face Carter, "I... I'm-"

"Sorry? I know, you said at least five times on our way over here. It's your job and neither of us can help that. If Amanda needed your help it was for good reason. Let's just hope it doesn't make us both lose sleep." Carter said to Olivia, she opened her water bottle and took a few sips before opening her take out.

Her words struck Olivia as she spoke and it wasn't a surprise to her that Carter wasn't upset or angry, it seems as if she didn't mind staying here with the squad while they worked on this case. Her train of thought was interrupted as she heard her partner call her name, she glanced over her shoulder and spotted Nick waving her over. Quickly Olivia pushed herself off the desk and removed her cardigan as it was growing warmer inside than out, "... I'll be back." She said before turning to join her partner.

Leaving Carter alone at Olivia's desk she began to finish her meal from breakfast, while she was halfway done her phone vibrated and she glanced down at it to see a text from Olivia that she sent earlier. Jade's number being sent. She placed her fork down and pushed the takeout box away from her before clicking on the number and making it a new contact. Thanks to Olivia, Carter had gotten a phone a few months ago, she barely knew how to work it so with Olivia's help she soon figured out the simple things for an iPhone.

Staring down at the empty text message to send Carter didn't know how to start the conversation with her, this had been the longest the two had gone without talking and the difficult part was sending the first 'hello.' She began to type out simple conversations, but none of them seemed to work for the ice breaker. She then smirked as a rather snarky idea came to mind.

_'You're a jerk, Mufasa.' _

Using the old nickname she had for her when they were young, when they were young they would watch movies mostly all the time to keep themselves occupied and Jade always had the curly locks of hers that reminded Carter of a lions mane. Jade never did like the similarities and would glare playfully at her friend, but she knew that would be an ice breaker.

Placing her phone down Carter waited for a reply and began putting away her food, she didn't want to leave a mess on the desk and leave it for Olivia to clean up after she ate. Throwing away the napkins and plastic silverware she used Carter heard the vibration of her phone against the desk and quickly reached for it, seeing Jade was calling her she answered it. "Hello?"

_"I guess I deserved that, didn't I?" _

The smile that grew on Carter's face as she heard her voice was one that could only mean pure joy, after all this time of ignoring one another and missing each other they were finally settled. "Yeah, I think you did. Look at this way, it is never bad to be compared to a lion. Even a male lion like Mufasa." She chuckled, hearing Jade's laughter as well.

_"And I still haven't come up with a snarky name for you, that's why I'm the nice friend. I need to recap on all the movies we watched as a kid." _

Carter gasped leaning back in the desk chair, "Says the girl who would scare me with fake spiders because she thought it was funny." She rolled her eyes at the thought. "Some nice friend you were, I still look under my pillow because of you."

_"Now you know to look under your pillow to check for spiders. I taught you a valuable lesson that day."_

Carter continued to laugh at Jade's comments and she smiled relaxing at hearing her voice, she was tense at first not knowing how Jade would react, but it was as if nothing happened. That's how it was supposed to be. "... I miss you, Jade." She whispered as she bit back her tears. Silence was all that could be heard on the other line then a soft sigh.

_"I miss you too, Carter. More... More than you know, it was weird not talking to you after ten years of friendship. I didn't want to do this over the phone because it's not how I planned it, but seeing as I haven't been to New York in two months. Here's my chance. I'm sorry for stealing your Mom's badge, that was incredibly wrong of me and I was scared that if you stayed with her you would eventually leave. Selfish, I know. After all was said and done though.. I'd never felt more guilty for hurting someone who has always been family to me." _

The more she heard Jade speak so deeply about what had happened months ago, the more Carter wished to forgive her for it. It made sense as to why she was afraid of what could happen, after all this mess there wasn't anyway Carter couldn't not forgive her. Staring at Nick's computer across from her mother's desk Carter shrugged her shoulders, "Ten years of friendship means more to me then any stupid choice. Just promise to talk to me next time, don't go all rash."

_"I promise. I will come to you before doing anything stupid like that." _

"Now that we're talking, I guess you can fill me in on everything that has happened in the past few months. Talk to me, vent to me, whichever is your choosing of the hour." Carter grabbed a pen from the desk and began to trace a few things along her free hand as the phone was pressed against her shoulder.

_"You sure you've got time? It's been five months I've got more than enough to tell you. You will have to fill me in as well." _

Carter shared a brief look in the integration room, seeing Fin and Amanda watching as Olivia and Nick were integrating the perp. She knew they would be a while if it meant the two of them nailing this guy for his doings, she just hoped she wouldn't be here all night. Tapping the pen against the desk Carter sighed, "I've got enough time."

An hour had passed between Carter and Jade's phone call with one another, both of them laughing at the stories they had to tell. Jade was hoping to be moved from her foster care shortly after meeting with her social worker earlier this month, wanting to come back to New York City where she was from. Right now she was an hour outside of New York, a little town called Huntington. The Foster family was nice for Jade, but she wanted to be back to a town she knew rather then a small town which she hated. Carter told Jade of all that had happened with Ian later last year and the papers going through with the judge, she hadn't made many friends at her new school, but Carter told Jade she mostly stayed to herself.

The two of them were laughing as they spoke about the past, mostly their childhood horror stories growing up. Both of them helping one another out once they got to the age of ten, they were able to feed off one another once they knew each other that well. Carter and Jade met through a foster home at the age of seven, it had been Jade's sixth foster home and for Carter it was her fourth. They became close friend as the two of them were quiet and kept to themselves most of the time, sneaking upstairs during playtime to play inside, the two of them were rule breakers from the moment they met. It changed now. Listening to rules seemed to be the only way to survive in foster homes. At least for Jade at this point in her life, another year and should be able to leave.

It wasn't long before Jade had to go and start her weekend homework, to much dismay Carter was surprised, but knowing Jade she was finding a way to outsmart the teacher. Saying their goodbyes to one another Carter hung up the phone and placed it down on the desk before getting up to grab coffee, she could smell someone brewing a fresh pot and was thankful for it.

Pouring the coffee into a travel to-go cup Carter noticed the drawing on the back of her hands was rubbing off already, she just hoped it wouldn't rub off on her jeans. She eyed the creamer and sugar she could use, but decided against it and then turned to walk back to Olivia's desk when she collided with a uni who was walking with a gentleman who was cuffed.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sir. Seems as if I really need this coffee after all." Carter turned beat red of embarrassment and smiled gently, "I'm just glad I didn't spill the coffee on you. I don't think a burn by hot coffee would be too kind."

Before the uni could forgive Carter for accidentally bumping into him, the taller gentleman in cuffs raised his hands showing his burnt fingertips. "Burned by a hot griddle wasn't too kind either." He smiled brightly at her before locking his eyes on Carter's. They were beautiful brown eyes, eyes that he had burned in the back of his mind from moments ago in that integration room.

"Was she apologizing to you?" The uni quickly asked Lewis, before tightening his grips on the cuffs that he would fix once he was inside of his cell. "It's alright, hon. Just make sure to put a lid on the cup before, I've had that lesson all too well."

Carter's eyes fell down to his fingertips and she saw the fresh burns that were already blistering, she winced at the thought of having a burn such as that and rather happy that the uni pushed his hands down. However, his eyes that were locked on her began making her feel uncomfortable within seconds of standing there, he was eyeing her and Carter couldn't withstand it. "Doesn't look too kind." She said before stepping aside to allow the uni to continue on his way.

"Move it, Lewis." The uni said, giving him a shove as they made their way back to the cell.

Lewis eyed the younger girl as he saw the resemblance between the Detective Benson and her. However, something was different about the girl standing in front of him, he could practically see it in her eyes and it made him excited beyond belief. The images running through his mind was beyond and he wanted to laugh at the thought, but he kept himself composed. He smirked as the uni was shoving him forward to walk past her and said to her, "... Nice flowers." He said in almost a taunting way.

Carter stood by the coffee pot and in that moment she didn't feel the need for coffee at all, she was wide awake and her heart was racing. It was as if he could read her like an open book, his eyes roaming over her taking in every piece of her. That look was all too familiar and it was a nightmare Carter didn't wish to relive in the past, present, nor future. Carter hoped that this wasn't the gentleman that was being interrogated by her mother, if so she now saw some of the type of men the squad put away for a living. The gaze he held with her gave her the chills causing her fingers to twitch with that she dropped the cup of coffee, causing it to spill on the floor.

"Dammit." She cursed quickly grabbing napkins from the counter and placing it on top of the coffee spilled on the ground, as she was bent down picking up the mess she noticed the flowers on the back of her hand. They were smeared at this point, but that's when it clicked. He complimented her on flowers and now it made sense as to what he meant. She gulped and quickly began throwing the wet napkins into the trash when Olivia came out to check on her.

"Hey... You spill something?" Olivia asked as she watched Carter throw dirty napkins in the trash. After an hour in there with Lewis, it was nice to finally get some relief and see a cheerful face like her daughter's.

"Oh.. Yeah, it was an accident." Carter quickly said before wiping her hands off on her jeans, she looked up at Olivia and noticed Barba was in Cragen's office going over some paperwork, Nick, Fin and Amanda were helping two girls out to the elevator. "Are you free to go just yet?" She asked.

Olivia glanced over her shoulder towards Cragen's office and slowly nodded, "Yeah. I have court tomorrow, but I should be off the hook for now." She grabbed her cardigan off her desk before slipping it over her shoulders. She could tell something was off by the tone in Carter's voice, it just made her wonder what was the problem?

Within a few seconds Carter grabbed her phone and took half of her leftover waffle and threw it towards Frannie, "Don't tell your mother." She whispered, before winking and following Olivia out of the precinct. An eventful Sunday at best.

* * *

**_A/N: Okay... So tell me everything, what you think, what you think will happen in the near future, I want to hear it all my friends. I do consider each one of my followers a friend so please know that. I adore each and everyone of you, if you have any questions or wanna talk, feel free to contact me. Also please review if you get the chance, thank you! _**


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: It's here. We're at the moment of truth, you ready for this? Because I'm not quite sure I'm ready. It's scary and so intimating going into this, doing it justice because this episode is so powerful. Here we go. Read on my fellow SVU fans. **_

* * *

One exhausting week later and Olivia was feeling the frustration of being a detective get to her once again, between the charges that were dropped against Lewis on public lewdness, the attack on Alice Parker, the interrogation still gave Olivia and her squad nightmares and was keeping her up in the middle of the night tossing and turning. Then the death of Alice Parker was the cake topper of the beginning of May as if the month was warming up on perfect time. It wasn't as if they could defeat him now on the charges for the rape on Alice Parker, she was dead and his lawyer was saving his ass through and through. Court is later this afternoon and Olivia doesn't want to know the outcome if it means Lewis walks free.

Putting her faith in the jury Olivia hopes that they will see right through Lewis and his manipulative ways that he had, his charm wasn't a charm to Olivia. In fact it was sickening at best. The way he knew he would get away with it from the moment his lawyer entered this case, then when the jury finally came out with a verdict it was a shock to all of them, when the jury couldn't come up with an answer, Lewis waked free. It turned all of the squads stomachs and it wasn't a choice not one of the detectives could choose.

Once they got back to the precinct Olivia sat down at her desk and waited for her head to stop spinning at this moment, she could see Amanda's frustration as she threw her coat on her desk and went to go grab herself a cup of coffee.

Olivia had been texting Carter after she had gotten out of school, Olivia had been missing from the apartment for a while since this case landed in their lap, spending most of her time working on dirt to dig up on Lewis. However, nothing had seemed to be working at a time like this. Carter had been home for a few hours now and was working on a project she had due for school, Olivia promised to bring home dinner. But it seemed difficult to get up from her desk after the news she heard. Lewis was free.

Vanessa his legal aid attorney had posted his bond and the thought of him walking the streets of New York made her appetite disappear. As Amanda was mentioning shooting the son of a bitch, Captain Cragen stopped her before Fin offered taking her for drinks, inviting Amaro before Liv. Once she heard the invitation she denied, knowing she had a daughter to get home to.

Grabbing her coat and bag Olivia began making her way out of the precinct, she got her phone out and dialed the number to one of their favorites takeout places to grab food from on a late night. Ordering the food Olivia then realized she never did discuss it with Carter, she just hoped she would agree with her choice.

Though Olivia didn't feel like eating anything on a night like this.

Lewis's sickening smile was burned in the back of her mind and the cries of Alice Parker after the attack was all she could imagine. No matter how hard she tried, the images wouldn't leave her alone. This case would indefinitely haunt her, between the death of Alice Parker and the twisted mind that Lewis had, it wouldn't be one that would ever forget. After all these days of searching for something on him, getting the cases that he had in the past and seeing the murder that was done by his hands, now seeing a monster like that walk, made Liv sick.

Sure, she had seen her fair share of cases in the past that were like this one, a guilty man walks free. Now a guilty demented man was allowed to walk free for the fifth time in his life, he was simply searching for someone to catch him. Just when the team thought they had caught him, he slipped through the cracks of the system and gotten free.

Liv had arrived to the restaurant and waited for the food, as she was doing so Liv called Carter hoping she was okay with Italian. Hearing the dial tone the fourth time Liv then heard the answer from her daughter.

_"Hello?"_

"Hi. Are you still working on your project or did you take a break?" Olivia asked as she sat down at the bar, though she had no intention of drinking.

_"I wish, this project isn't just a poster board and a few pictures. Third grade was so much easier. How'd court go?" _

"..." Olivia didn't know how to answer that, but she simply sighed and said, "Well, at least you're working hard on it. Court didn't go too well, but we will live."

_"I... I'm sorry. That it didn't go well. I just hope you get some sleep, even if the day went south. You haven't slept much this past week." _

Her smile widened at her daughters voice and she chuckled, "No. No, I guess I haven't. You shouldn't be checking up on my sleeping schedule, I should be checking on yours however." She noticed the bartender asking if she wanted anything, she shook her head and smiled.

_"It's kinda difficult to ignore when I can hear you going through files at night, but shockingly. I don't mind it. And I get plenty of sleep. You, don't get much sleep." _

"Enough about sleep," Olivia could feel her heavy eyes growing worse at the thought of sleep, "I'm picking up food from that Italian place two blocks down, does that sound good for dinner?"

_"At this point anything sounds good." _

Olivia smiled as she leaned her forearms against the bar as she waited for the food to bed ready, she was just glad Carter agreed to the dinner plan she had thought of the last twenty minutes. "I should be home as soon as the food is done. I... I'm sorry I've been missing this past week, Carter. It hasn't been intentional. This case has been important."

_"I understand. It's not like it can't be when you read about it as much as you do." _

"We will make up for it this weekend... We can go do something, anything you want to make up for it, how does that sound?" Olivia hoped in cheering Carter up with that news. However, when she didn't hear a reply from her Olivia raised an eyebrow, "Carter... Carter does that sound okay?"

_"... Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great." _

The answer was short and sweet, but Olivia could tell something was off by the tone of her voice and she nodded before hearing the waiter call her name for her order to be ready. Getting up from the bar stool Olivia made her way over to them, "The food is ready, I should be home in about ten minutes. Do you need anything before I come home? I don't mind-"

_"No... No, really I'm fine. Take your time." _

Handing the waiter the money Olivia took the bag of food before the confusion set in by the way Carter was speaking, she noticed a stress in her voice and it wasn't like she was talking beforehand. Making her way out Olivia nodded, "I'll be home soon. Go get back to your project." She said before hearing the line go dead. Glancing down at her phone, Olivia then made her way to the squad car before driving off to her apartment.

* * *

Hitting the end button Carter felt his hand snatch her phone from her hand, all while holding the gun to her head and laughing once she had hung up on her mother, she could feel her heart racing at the sight of the gun and her stomach turn as his eyes ran up and down her. He threw her phone across the room as it hit the bathroom wall and fell to the floor, he then tilted his head to the side as he shook his head and began to lick his lips. They stood in the bathroom that connected to her mothers room, she had gone to grab a pen from her room after hers had gone out of ink while on the phone. Only to have a gun pointed at her head by the gentleman from the precinct.

She recognized his face from the moment she saw him standing in the doorway of the bedroom, while on the phone with her she froze, not knowing what to say nor do. But he made her reply to every word with a positive response and if she didn't he swore to shoot her and her mother. The guilt she felt from telling Olivia to come home was unlike any other, she didn't know what he was capable of, but knowing he had a gun was enough.

"Detective Benson's daughter, aren't you?" He asked keeping the gun held to her forehead, he much taller than her which he had to hold it down to almost an angle. He raised an eyebrow and took his finger off the trigger, resting it on the side of the gun. "You did good, sweetheart." He spoke about her speaking to her mother on the phone, "She'll be joining us soon. However, you weren't quite part of the plan, now were you?" He chuckled.

Carter watched him carefully and listened as he spoke, wanting to know what his plan was for this idea. Knowing her mother would be here soon didn't make it better, this man had a gun and was planning on using it if she acted the wrong way. She didn't speak, instead she just stared right back at him and kept quiet not knowing what to say to the gentleman standing there.

He took note that she wasn't speaking and began to laugh at her, he noticed that there wasn't fear in her eyes and immediately he knew he was right. "I knew it... I knew it from the moment I laid my eyes on your pretty little self." He took the gun and pushed her hair over her shoulder, he then slowly bent down and inhaled the smell of her perfume. He couldn't help but get excited from that, licking his lips once more, he then took the gun and spun it in a circle, "Turn around and walk towards the living room and I wouldn't try anything if I were you..." He whispered in her ear before shoving her forward.

The second the gun was used to toss hair over her shoulder and he leaned over her Carter could feel herself reoccurring that moment, she closed her eyes and did her best to stop it, taking a deep breath before being shoved back. Turning on her heel Carter slowly made her way out of the bathroom going towards her room and passing into the living room, once they were in there he shoved her onto the couch. She caught herself midway and pushed herself up to where she was sitting, the sound of duct tape caused Carter to look up at him.

Lewis grabbed the tape on the coffee table and placed the gun down he began to tear it, causing the girl to look up at him, he laughed seeing her gaze, "If you kick me, sweetheart. You will regret it." He told her before he grabbed her by her ankles dragging her forward and taping her around the ankles.

Watching him carefully Carter knew better than to do anything to risk her life and her mothers, she saw him bite the end of the tape once he got a few rounds around her ankles, then he roughly grabbed her by her left wrist and pulled her up and she collided with him. Her feet being taped caused her to ram into his muscular chest Carter could hear his laughter in her ear, his warm breath against her neck sent chills down her spine. Before he grabbed her other wrist, now taping her wrists together. Then he dropped the tape back onto the coffee table and wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close.

"What's your name?" He asked, tilting his head to the right before smirking at her. She kept her gaze away from his and he didn't like that, instead he grabbed her by the chin and forced her to look directly into his eyes, "There, that's better. It's rude to not look in someone's eyes when they speak to you." He sighed heavily, now using his hand to give her a light slap on the cheek. "If I have to go looking for your name, I'm not going to be happy."

Carter knew she didn't have a choice, if she lied he would be able to tell and there was no risking those odds. "... Carter." She replied looking him directly in the eyes while replying. She could feel her heart racing in her chest as he was drawing her close, his one arm was wrapped tightly around her waist as his other hand dropped the tape in on the floor by their feet.

Her eyes met with his as she replied to his demands and he laughed at her. He got what he wanted. "Carter." He said to himself before stepping back and allowing her to fall back into the couch. "Carter, Carter." He repeated her name twice more. Taking a seat on the coffee table Lewis watched as Carter fell back into the couch, he reached for the gun and saw her watchful eyes following his hand once he had it. He was already thriving off this, he could only imagine what it would be like once Detective Benson joined them.

"I had plans." He told Carter as he held the gun her way, "You weren't part of them, but now that you are..." His wide grin turned into a smirk causing him to laugh, "more dramatic you could say, huh?" He teased. "The day I spotted you at the precinct, with the little flowers on the back of your hand, I could... I could see it in your pretty little brown eyes." Lewis leaned forward now resting his forearms on his knees and he raised the gun in his right hand running the tip of the gun along Carter's cheek. "Was it as tragic as I imagined?"

The threatening look he carried in his eyes caused Carter to stare directly back at him, she attempted fighting his gaze, but it was no use. He was seeing her right through her past. A past she'd rather forget if she could. He seemed to have remembered quite a bit from one encounter, it took her a few seconds to remember him making a comment about her hand. As he ran the tip of the gun across her cheek Carter found the courage to speak, "I don't know what you're talking about." She said.

Lewis didn't take kindly to her lying, he could practically smell that she was a victim let alone see it in her eyes. He was getting impatient waiting for Olivia to get home, now the daughter was being dishonest. Narrowing his eyes Lewis gently tapped the gun across her cheek, before raising his hand and striking her with force of the gun. Lucky for her it wasn't to her eyes.

Carter felt the harsh blow she received from Lewis and it caused her to fall to her side on the couch, the pain immediately rushed to her cheek and her head began to spin. A few seconds passed afterwards she then heard his faint laughter and as she tried sitting up, blood began to rush into her mouth from the corner of her lip, it was busted. The force of the hit was enough to harm her, but the weapon of choice didn't help.

"That's gonna leave a mark," He laughed as he sat back down on the coffee table before resting the gun against his temple, "don't make me create another one. Tell me all about that little story you have hidden." Lewis was going to continue when the ramble of keys was heard outside the apartment door. Within seconds Lewis placed his hand over Carter's mouth and dragged her into the dark shadows hidden around the living room. Pressing Carter's back against his chest Lewis then held the gun to her head whispering, "Scream, make any sudden movements, you'll both be dead before you hit the floor."

His words were enough to make Carter stay quiet with fear, her legs buckled underneath her which only made Lewis's grip tighten around her waist. She closed her eyes not wanting to see the look in Olivia's face when she saw what was happening. This couldn't be happening at a time like this. It was a supposed to be a night spent together after the long week, now it was turning to hell.

The apartment door opened and in came Olivia Benson with a bag of takeout under one arm and a bag of groceries in the other, she kicked the door closed with her foot and stepped into the kitchen, "Carter, I'm home." She called out while she flicked on the light. Placing the take out and grocery bag on the counter Olivia noticed that she didn't hear a thing from her daughter, instead she heard silence. "Carter?" She called out once more.

Glancing around the living room she heard a creak in the floorboards indicating someone was there, but not responding. It was unlike Carter to not say anything unless she was asleep, but Olivia knew she had a project due and it wasn't like her to slack. Slowly Olivia made her way out of the kitchen and stepped into the hallway only to have a gun now pointed to her head.

"Welcome home, Detective Benson."

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, I'm almost to one hundred followers with this story. That's insane and I can't believe this is happening. I love you all so much, I can't thank any of you enough for the support and love. Tell me your thoughts, your concerns... anything. I'm here for questions and ready to answer them. Please remember, I love to hear your reviews and thoughts on my story. **_

_**Thank you all once more. My love for you all is immense. **_


	12. Chapter 12

The erie smile behind the trigger was none other than William Lewis, however while that frightened Olivia Benson at the time, the most frightening image was seeing Carter locked in his grip. Knowing what this beast was capable of could turn anyone's stomach, but knowing that her daughter was now in his grasps and was in the crossfire sent a sickening feeling in Liv's chest. Her daughter's hands and feet were bound with duct tape and there was wet blood running across her lips now, Carter's eyes met with Olivia's and immediately Carter felt the fear strike her as she heard Lewis's laughter in her ear.

"So glad you could join us," Lewis spoke as he stepped forward shoving Carter along with him, the gun holding steady in his hand as he did so. "Detective Benson. I've had a lovely talk with your... daughter, isn't this?" He smirked and with his one free hand he shoved Carter to the floor. "We were waiting for you to join us, weren't we Carter?"

Olivia was frozen with fear as she then felt the grip of his hand latch onto her arm and tug her forward, however her worry was on Carter who was on the ground attempting to push herself back up off the floor. Shoving her into a chair it wasn't long before Lewis reached for her gun on her hip, then he slipped it in the back of his jeans, "Try and make a move or scream, I will not hesitate to shoot your precious little girl, understood?"

That was enough for Olivia to respond with a small nod before her eyes averted back to her daughter as Lewis began tugging on her wrists and ankles, taping her to the chair. She could see fear in Carter's eyes as she saw what was happening, they had no control over what was happening or going to happen, her gun and badge couldn't protect Liv now. She noticed a harsh reddened spot across her daughters cheek as well, swelling growing and it was clear that she had been struck by Lewis. Which only caused Olivia to feel this rage she had never encountered before, but she knew if she did anything to fight Lewis he would come back at her or Carter again.

Carter had managed to sit herself up from the harsh shove to the ground and she stared back at Olivia, not knowing what to do or even say, they were caught up in Lewis's grasps now and there seemed to be no way of escaping it. Her eyes began to avert around the room for any possible weapon that she could use, but there was nothing. She couldn't risk her mother's life in her own hands. She slowly began to rub her hands back and forth feeling the tape began to pull at her skin she bit her tongue through the pain.

As Lewis was busy talking to himself Olivia noticed what Carter was doing to her hands, she knew Lewis wouldn't notice yet she did, quickly she shook her head slowly not wanting Lewis to see her. She needed Carter to know that she couldn't be risking her life to escape this, knowing what Lewis was capable of warned Olivia of the outcome of this. She saw Carter immediately stop what she was doing and glance down at Lewis who was taping Olivia's legs now and was onto the last one. Carter glanced back up at Olivia and slowly leaned back against the wall before nodding back at her mother.

"Tape. Done." Lewis tossed the tape behind his back and it collided into the wall of pictures Olivia had hanging and knocked one down, causing the glass to shatter as it hit the floor. Now he made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a grocery bag that was hidden in the fridge, he began to rummage through it and place everything out on the counter. "I had to go shopping for this... _special_ occasion. Too bad I only bought one bottle," He began to laugh as his eyes averted to Carter. "we can share though, can't we? Enough to go around."

He cracked open a can and began to chug it and before long crushed it with his hands and threw it over his shoulder, grabbing a bottle he then stepped out of the kitchen and smirked, "Time we get this party started, huh?"

Seeing the vodka bottle in his hand Olivia watched him carefully knowing what his intentions were, she could see him glancing at her and then back at Carter as he was having a difficult time on deciding who to go to first. She feared that he was going to shove it down Carter's throat, which meant her drinking and she didn't long to know the thoughts playing on in his mind. She could see his eyes gazing more on her for the time being and once he stepped towards her, she knew what was to come, looking away from his gaze she then felt him jerk her head back towards him.

"No, no, we don't have to be shy. You can drink." He smirked, forcing Olivia's mouth open and tilting the bottle over her mouth.

Olivia felt the burn immediately run down her throat from the vodka and she did her best to stop herself from swallowing, but there was no use from trying to spit it out when he was forcing more down her throat. "There we go," She heard him say as she did her best to swallow the rest.

Carter saw him force the bottle of booze down Olivia's throat and she looked away not wanting to see her struggle swallowing. He seemed to be enjoying Olivia's pain which made her stomach turn, just this simple tactic made her sick, she could only imagine what else he longed for. This was becoming more real to Carter as she was still in a state of shock from what had happened earlier. It wasn't supposed to happen.

Lewis looked over his shoulder at Carter who was doing her best to keep her gaze down even after his actions, turning away from Olivia he stepped a bit closer to Carter and a sadistic smile began to grow. He could hear Olivia struggling to take a deep breath with the amount of vodka, he chuckled as he knelt down in front of Carter with a sadistic grin, "It's your turn..."

Her heart began to race as she felt the bottle press against her lips, the smell alone made Carter nauseous, but the taste once the vodka hit her tastebuds she immediately longed to throw it back up immediately. However Lewis took note of that and began to laugh continuing to pour the alcohol down her throat before pulling away and watching her struggle with the last amount in her mouth, she spit most of it out.

Seeing him shove the vodka down her daughters throat Olivia couldn't fathom the sight, she knew if she even tried to defend her child it would only bring Carter more harm. However seeing her spit most of it up was comforting, hoping she wouldn't swallow all of it, knowing the effects it would have if she did. The sound of his laughter caused Olivia to look back up at him, she saw the sadistic look in his eyes and she narrowed her eyes as he put the bottle down on the coffee table.

"Tonight will definitely be interesting, mother and daughter..." Lewis glanced back and forth between them before taking the gun that was resting on the bar and resting it in his hand. "Now what to do with you?" His gaze now on Carter as she was still on the floor with her hands and feet taped.

Carter kept her gaze down once she saw him looking her way, she couldn't keeping looking him in the eyes when he stared back with such a malicious gleam. She could only imagine what his thoughts were, but she was glad she didn't.

Olivia was fearing that Lewis had too much interest in Carter, she knew if she allowed him to pay attention on her long enough that he could do more damage to her. The moment she saw Lewis glance towards her daughter Olivia spoke, "Lewis... I know your problem is with me, okay? After all the hell I put you through I'm sure you didn't come here to talk to my daughter. You came here for revenge on me." She knew he had his attention as he quickly looked her way.

"Smart, very smart Detective Benson," Lewis smirked as his eyes stayed on Carter, knowing she was playing games with him. "What gave it away? The gun I had to your head as you came into your own apartment?" He took a step closer towards her daughter.

"..." Olivia could tell if she wasn't straight with him it wouldn't work to get his attention away from Carter. "Alright, Lewis you wanted my attention you got it, better take it while I'm taped to a chair."

To Lewis that sounded as if he wasn't capable of hurting the detective, he narrowed his eyes and quickly took a few quick steps towards her and raised his hand striking the detective with the back of his hand. He then grabbed Olivia by her chin, forcing her to look him dead in the eyes. "Is that what you wanted me to do Olivia? I thought for a second that having you tied to a chair with a gun to your head would stop you from shutting up, but it seems as if I was wrong." He noticed her left eye was growing red from the hit and chuckled, "I don't believe that's what you wanted."

As the hit immediately caused her vision to blur in her left eye Olivia then felt her head spin, then the grip of his ice cold fingers jerked her head up and she looked him in the eyes. Yet she struggled to do so. He shoved her head back and then tape was shoved over her lips and she was silent. It wasn't long before Olivia struggled to focus on her surroundings, Lewis was blurry as he stepped back away from her.

"I appreciate that you aren't as mouthy as your mother," Lewis said as he leaned over grabbing Carter from around her waist and hosting her up onto the couch, she slumped against him and he could feel her hear racing against his chest. Fear. Once she was propped up on the couch Lewis sat on the coffee table across from her, running his eyes up and the young girl without a care.

The sense of shock was still in place as Carter had witnessed Lewis hit her mother a few moments before, now she could feel his eyes on her and she longed for a shower just after a few moments. His tone was different with Carter then it seemed to be with Olivia, instead he sounded rather excited with the thoughts that were running in the back of his mind, she knew better then to react in anyway or else he would feed off of it.

Lewis wasn't too fond of her gaze avoiding his and he tilted his head to the side, before raising his hand and running his fingers along her inner thigh, he expected her to flinch. Yet she did't. He laughed hearing Olivia mutter something under the tape, "Don't like that do you, Detective?" He asked, glancing at Olivia taped to her chair. "I could do worse... if you'd like."

Carter looked back and forth between Olivia and Lewis as he ran his hand along her thigh, occasionally squeezing her thigh before mocking Olivia. She hated that he was touching her, but she couldn't let him know that or else he would thrive off of it. Which would cause things to escalate in a matter of seconds.

He then pulled his hand away before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a carton of cigarettes, "You... You want one Carter?" He asked putting one in between his lips before grabbing the lighter and then took a drag.

"... No," She whispered quickly locking gaze with him and daring to look down at the packet he threw on the coffee table. "I don't smoke." She could hear Olivia having trouble breathing from her mouth being taped and the struggle from the hit.

Lewis laughed blowing smoke in her face before tilting his head to the side, "You... You've got a clean gut girl here, Detective. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke... I'm not sure if she gets physical with anyone." He saw the look in Carter's eyes and he knew it so well. "Or maybe she has," He then reached across and grabbed Carter's hand that were still taped together with his free hand. "You haven't told her. Have you Carter?"

Olivia watched as Lewis was tormenting Carter, but she seemed to be handling it well. Yet, Olivia would've taken her spot in a heartbeat if it meant she wasn't going to get harmed or even touched by that monster. However as she saw him run his hand along her thigh, Olivia began to twist her hands under the grips of the tape not caring from the pain it caused, all she wanted was for him to stop.

Then when he glanced back at her she immediately stopped, knowing he would see her actions and just feed off of it. He wanted that. His attention went back to Carter and she was struggling to release herself from the tape, she knew if friction was caused, there was a chance she could slip out, but he wrapped it around tightly. All she wanted was for him to keep away from Carter. Hearing him speak as if he knew she had been physical with anyone, she looked up and kept her gaze on Carter as she stared Lewis down. What hadn't she been told?

"She hasn't seen the signs, yet? I'm sure you've had nightmares, moments of panic, fear of being... intimate." He began to laugh as he held her hands tighter before taking one more drag from his cigarette. "Yet, all this couldn't have just happened, there's a story to it, a story I would _love _to hear. I'm sure your mother would too,"

Carter could feel herself panic from his change of subject, he was enjoying this far too much and it made her sick to her stomach at the thought. He was bringing up the past and it would only get worse as he got deeper, if he made her. She kept her mouth shut and didn't bother giving him any satisfaction.

"... Silent, huh?" He was getting further under her skin and it made him grin from ear to ear. Taking the cigarette from his lips he then pressed down on the back of Carter's hand that he was holding, causing her to gasp in pain and she tried pushing him away. "What? Didn't like that?" He tilted his head to the side, afterwards he then proceeded to burn her once more. "I remember the day I saw you, the little flowers on the back of your hand," He began to make a small circle with the burns. "how precious."

Olivia spotted him pressing the cigarette into the back of Carter's hand and she began to struggle under the tapes, "Lewis... Lewis, stop it." She demanded, seeing Carter's facial expressions he could tell she was in pain. "Lewis, quit!" She was doing everything she could to try and get his attention away from Carter even it it meant she was suffering instead.

"You think that will distract me, Olivia?" Lewis paused from burning Carter once more and glanced over at Carter before licking his lips, "Carter's taking all the pain, you should be happy. And besides, it would make a beautiful scar." He then brushed his fingers over the fresh burn on the back of Carter's hand.

The pain in her hand was causing Carter to bit the inside of her cheek, she didn't know the pain could be this strong, but it only got worse as his fingers were pressing down on the fresh burn. Tears gathered in her eyes and she blinked them away quickly, wanting to show no sign of pain. But it was obvious that she was suffering from her first whimper.

"You're right, she's taking the suffering when you're really here for me, so why don't you speak to me? I mean, you went through all this trouble to only hit me? That's a little weak, don't you think?" Olivia was seeing a change in him and she knew it was dangerous, but anything to get his attention away from Carter, she couldn't see him torture her any longer. "Could've done that easily on the street."

That was enough to cause Lewis to drop his cigarette and within seconds then backhanded Olivia, when she gasped from the strike, he grabbed the vodka bottle that was behind him on the table. "A little weak, funny. I don't believe that is true." He placed the bottle between Olivia's lips and forced it down her throat. Once she got a good few swigs of the drink, he pulled away and tilted his head to the side smirking at her before grabbing her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes, "So I want to play around with your daughter... but don't worry, the real fun will begin with you."

Olivia was doing her best to keep her eyes open from the cause of the hit, then the alcohol in her system was taking a small toll as her vision was beginning to get blurry. She could hear him speaking and she did her best to focus on anything but Lewis, but her head was spinning. Her plan worked, she got her attention off Carter, but now he was planning something else. She saw him begin to sway from side to side, grabbing something from his pocket, then forcing her mouth open, two pills were placed on her tongue. The vodka came into play once more as he made her drink the pills down, she knew that her vision was only going to get worse.

"There we go," He threw the pill bottle on the coffee table and ran his fingers through Liv's hair, she flinched at his touch and he couldn't help but laugh biting his bottom lip. "This seemed to have been easy, take a shot every time Detective Benson makes a mistake." He made his way towards Carter with the bottle still in his hand, "Wanna sip?" He asked.

Watching this plait in front of her made her stomach turn, she hated this man with every fiber in her being and longed to have him more than dead at this point. Olivia was protecting her, doing her very best at that, but it backfired by getting pills shoved down her throat. As Lewis made his way back over to Carter she glanced down at the bottle shaking her head, "Not a fan." She muttered.

"Hmm." Lewis was amused by this young girl, she seemed to have a daring look in her eyes as she could see what exactly he wanted. "Too bad," He placed the bottle on her lips forcing the alcohol between her lips. She didn't struggle, knowing he would adore that too much.

Once he pulled away Carter began to cough struggling with the burning running down her throat, almost wanting to vomit up from the taste in her mouth. She looked away from him before wiping the bottom of her chin on her shirt. "You see Carter... drinking you have to get used, once the burning stops you realize how good it makes you feel." He began to walk around the apartment and occasionally glancing at Olivia was who struggling to keep her head up. "kinda like... intimacy, once you get past the little stuff and get to it... it's much more worth it."

Carter's throat burned and ached for something other than that horrid drink, she could feel the burning running down her chest now and it wasn't helping. Looking across the room she saw Olivia attempting to hold her head up, but she slumped against the chair each time, she feared the worse, she knew it was wrong to mix pills with alcohol. She was seeing the side affects by Olivia's actions. She could hear Lewis and his smart comments and it only made her fear for own self.

His footsteps carried behind the couch wear Carter was sitting and he reached down running his fingers through her hair, she didn't flinch. It bothered him that she wasn't troubled by his touch, but he wanted to test her. Running his hand along the back of her neck he then gave her neck a tight squeeze, causing her shoulders to tighten and she did her best to push away, which made him grin.

"Ahh, there it is." He laughed as he came out from behind the couch, "touchy, touchy."

His touch was enough to send cold shivers down her spine and remind her of the past, she knew better than to flinch but it wasn't helping when he was pushing himself on her. As he now took a seat on the coffee table once more and came down to eye level, she pushed herself further back into the couch.

"What? Not wanting to talk anymore?" He asked, then didn't receive a response from her. "I think I can get you to talk," He raised his hand and grabbed her wrists that were taped together dragging her forward, she was now sitting on the edge of the couch, not far from Lewis. "No burns, no drinking, just a simple touch..." He used his grip on her wrists to keep her there, his free hand ran along her cheek and his thumb brushed over her lips. "How sweet." She tried pushing herself away from him, but he laughed grabbing her by the back of the neck and pushing her closer.

Olivia who could see his actions out of the corner of her eye, she blinked a few times before she slumped back into the chair and her eyes met with Carter's, the fear in her eyes broke her heart, knowing he was longing to do more than what his actions showed now. She now knew what her actions caused. Olivia slowly shook her head, hoping Carter would understand not to struggle under his grip, it only excited him more with every push and shove.

The second their eyes met Carter knew she had to listen to Olivia in order to get out of this situation, which made her fear the worse of accepting it. The burns on the back of her hand were rubbing against the tape, she relaxed slowly knowing it was the only way. "Want me to talk? I'll talk, okay?" Carter quickly met Lewis's gaze and dared to say, "Gonna ask me something or not?"

"..." Lewis saw the look in her eyes and he frowned feeling her relax under his touch, he wanted to feel the struggle more than anything, but it would have to wait as she was talkative in that moment. He let her hands go and pushed himself back, glancing over at Olivia he smirked knowing she would just eat this up. "You were raped... weren't you?"

The glimmer in his eyes only caused her to realize just how sick and twisted he was, she knew her mother dealt with perverts on a daily basis, but if this is what she dealt with. Carter couldn't blame Olivia wanting to lock up physchopaths like Lewis, these were the type of men who were only created in nightmares or so they thought. It made her fear the worse knowing she was being forced to spill out her past in this way, she hadn't spoken to anyone about this. Now it was life or death.

"You figured it out, want a medal?"

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_**A/N: I know I'm horrible for leaving that here, but I promise I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, please tell me what you think. I'm wanting your feedback. **_


	13. Chapter 13

The silence seemed to make time stand still over the apartment after Carter had snapped at Lewis for his nagging, she knew that would be the only way to get him to shut up about it. But it seemed after Carter finally answered him, no one said a word nor made a sound. The shock was simply settling in as Carter revealed part of her past.

Olivia found herself starring at her daughter who sat only a few feet away, her eyes wide as she heard Carter say she had been raped in the past. Immediately her stomach dropped and she felt such heartache for her daughter, the daughter she brought into this world, the daughter she promised to protect which was on one of the reasons adoption was best. Yet, now Olivia felt as if she failed her daughter. Olivia was an SVU detective and had dealt with victims ever since she stepped into SVU, but she couldn't handle that it was her daughter who was the rape victim.

However, Lewis who still sat on the coffee table in front of Carter found pure joy out of her tempered snap at him, he licked his lips and tilted his head to the side.

"You know, Olivia. It was so easy to see that?" He laughed finding it comical, "You know as well as I, that my kind. We spot little _victims, _as you call them, from a mile away." Lewis kept his eyes on Carter, running them up and down before his hand found it's way on her knees. "From the moment I saw little Carter, I knew it."

Carter didn't flinch as his hands rested on her knees, though he began to pull her towards him and her heart began to race. He was dragging her off the couch, but stopped once she was sitting on the edge of the cushions, she could feel Olivia's eyes on her and she wanted to tell her to look away. Lewis had different plans it seemed.

He stared the young girl down and raised one free hand up and stroked her cheek, his eyes were watching her intently and he wanted to see her squirm. Yet, the more she stayed still, the more Lewis longed to find ways to make her flinch, find those little spots of weaknesses that she had.

"Smart..." He chuckled, before leaning in and now he grabbed a hold of the bottom of her chin. "you're not bothered by my touch," He then let his grip on her chin loosen and he ran his fingers down her jawline, "not even in the slightest."

Carter was doing her best to keep her focus away from Lewis, but the more Lewis even brushed against her she found herself looking up into his dark, soulless eyes. It was difficult not to when he kept pushing her towards him, then he ran his fingers down her jawline now his fingers were at her neck, tracing around her pulse point there. She longed to make his cringeworthy touch to stop, but she knew it wasn't going to if she fought him on it.

"Why did you ask me?" She quickly snapped at him, her eyes looking straight into his. "You didn't just ask me out of the clear blue."

"Well, I guess you could say that ever since I saw you in the precinct, I've been thinking just how it happened." Lewis grinned as he stared down the young girl in front of him and squeezed her inner thighs, "Thinking down to every... little... detail," He chuckled feeling her legs buckle from his his grip. "What about you... Detective Benson, just how do you feel about this?" He turned to glance over his shoulder.

Olivia was trying to pry off the tape around her wrists, all while keeping her eyes on Lewis's wandering hands that were on her daughter. She felt this rage inside of her that was fueling, she was doing everything to stop Lewis from laying a hand on her daughter. She was always protective over any children, but this... this was her daughter. She couldn't say a word due to the fresh tape covering her mouth. Yet, she knew Lewis would be able to tell by her glaring eyes that she was quite bothered by his... stomach churning actions.

A bruise was forming on Olivia's left eye and a cut above her eyebrow, she could feel her eyesight going in and out and it was most likely the effects from alcohol and pills that were forced down her throat. The burn of raw vodka was still running down her throat as she longed for the taste of water, but she knew that Lewis wasn't going to grant her any kind of wish.

Lewis couldn't help but laugh at the hateful look in Olivia's eyes and it kept him enjoying the moment he was reeling in.

"Look at that, your mother isn't enjoying this," He whispered under his breath before tilting his head to the side, "I'm sure after all the cases she's endured over the past few years, she neve expected to have the little girl she raised to go through such torture. Maybe she has some words of wisdom..." He got up from the table and walked over to Olivia, ripping the tape away from her mouth.

There was a slight sting on her lips and upper lip as he ripped away the tape, her busted lip was bleeding again as the wound was open once more, she let out a heavy breath as her mouth was dry. She glared up at Lewis and as he stepped back towards Carter, Olivia tried speaking, but her voice wouldn't come out and she could barley speak.

Carter didn't look over at Olivia, fearing to see that look in her mothers eyes and seeing that fear. She didn't tell Olivia anything of her past, because she told herself that she wasn't bothered by it anymore. Now... she felt as if it was coming back to bite her. The truth was out in the open. How he mentioned Olivia raising her as a child, when it wasn't the truth.

"Cat got your tongue, Detective?" Lewis laughed at Olivia's attempt to speak and tilted his head to the side, he slumped back down on the coffee table. "Now that you're not speaking as much," He licked his lips and let one free hand slip away from her leg, he then reached behind him to grab the vodka bottle, "Maybe a little sip of liquid courage could get you speaking again?" Lewis then hesitated with the bottle in his hand. She didn't show any emotion in her face and he wanted to see her flinch or push him away, but when she didn't Lewis had other plans.

Within seconds Lewis forgotten about the vodka bottle and grabbed Carter by the waist and forced her onto her back, then he climbed onto of her and straddled her hips by digging his knees deep into her sides. She was completely still at this moment as she was under him, he ran his fingers down her arms and pinned her hands above her.

"Feel like talking now?" He mocked Carter.

Seeing him become even slightly aggressive towards her daughter, made her jump and she was pulling even more at the tape around her wrists.

"Lewis! Lewis, get off of her! Get off!" The panic was rising as Olivia watched Lewis climb on top of Carter, "Lewis, get off of her!" She was yelling at this point, she knew it would anger him, since he had warned her not to make a sound.

Lewis knew that with the yelling would cause a stir on the floor of her apartment, he narrowed his eyes at Olivia and took the gun that was in the back of his jeans and pressed it at Carter's temple knowing it would silence the cop.

"I thought you would learn to say quiet by now, Detective." He said to Olivia, knowing very well that it would frighten her to see the gun at her daughters head.

Olivia went quiet seeing him grab the gun and her heart stopped seeing him point the gun at Carter, she froze in that moment and simply stared helplessly at her daughter. She didn't know what to do at this point, nothing seemed as if anything could save them from this monster. She held back her heavy tears and narrowed her eyes at Lewis.

"You listen better than your mother, why is that? Was is it because you were abused multiple times?" Lewis spoke to Carter and he saw the look of shock in her eyes as he spoke of multiple counts of abuse. "Didn't think I could see through that, did you? It's quite simple for us, we see right through you, especially for those who bottle it up. Simplicity." He laughed biting his bottom lip, he placed the gun aside down on the ground next to the couch.

He ran his fingers down her sides and gave a tight squeeze causing Carter to jump slightly in shock, he laughed at that reaction and continued his hands downward. His hands began to drag along her hips and as she felt him began to grow closer to the buttons of her jeans, she finally spoke to him.

"What do you expect to get out of this?" Carter snapped quickly, following his gaze and she felt him pause from unbuttoning her pants. "Do you want me to tell you all the dirty stories? Because I can, but how can that satisfy your dark thoughts. It wouldn't... all you want is one for yourself. Wanna know something about being a victim?" She whispered to him. "We know how you work, each one of you is different. But you all thrive off one thing. The struggle. That's what gets you, huh? It's quite sick, if you ask me. Not saying, I won't struggle... if you rape me, but I certainly will do my best not to." She leaned forward a little though his body weight kept her pushed down, "You're not getting off on me."

Lewis didn't expect to hear that from Carter and he wasn't shocked by her, he was quite amused to say the least. He clenched his jaw realizing he wasn't going to get what he wanted from her. He now had deal with Liv's phone going off on the coffee table, it kept doing so and the more it rang, the more Lewis's mind was being ticked off one by one.

His hands paused from unbuttoning her jeans and he instead squeezed her sides once more, laughing all the while he moved off of her and went over to the kitchen to to grab himself another beer.

Olivia didn't expect to hear that from her daughter, she was fighting to keep his interest away from rape. Which Olivia feared all together, the thought though was still in the back of her head and made her on edge. She watched the way Lewis's eyes changed, they weren't gleaming anymore, in fact they were burning right through Carter.

She sat still for a moment and carefully watched as Lewis pushed himself off of Carter and walked into the kitchen. Her gaze shifted back on Carter and watched as she tried pushing herself up from the couch, though she was struggling to sit up with her hands tied and feet as well.

However, it frightened Liv to see the way Carter handled all of what Lewis was doing to her, Olivia was frightened by just his touch and it made her skin crawl and she flinched back away from him. Yet, Carter she didn't take it from him, instead she stared him right in the eyes and told him that she wouldn't deal with his actions even if he tried.

The phone that belonged to Olivia began to ring for the third time and Lewis reached his wits end.

Before he cracked open the second beer of his Lewis stormed back into the living room and grabbed her phone off the coffee table, seeing the collar I.D he began to laugh and showed it off to Olivia.

"Look at that, who's Cassidy? Huh?" He asked, unlocking her phone and quickly seeing if she received any texts.

Olivia looked at her phone screen and saw that Cassidy had called her three times in the past ten minutes, that was unusual, but she would have to use it to her advantage. "He's supposed to come over and have dinner," She quickly told him. "He's on his way, told me he was leaving when I called him before I got home."

"Is that why you got take out?" Lewis pointed to the bag of takeout on the kitchen counter, he raised an eyebrow smirking at her. "It's interesting, I only see two meals in there. Wouldn't want your daughter to starve now would you?" He noticed that Cassidy never left a message and he was seeing past all these little lies.

"We split the fettuccine." Carter quickly said to back up her mother's story, she was doing her best to unravel the tape around her wrists which wasn't working out in her favor. "It's quite good if you want some," She was now being sarcastic and mocking him.

Lewis laughed at Carter's sense of humor and tilted his head to the side before hearing the phone go off once more, this time it was a voice mail left for her. He opened up the phone and brought it to his ear to listen to the message left, he began to walk around the room waiting for it to play, he leaned against the wall and eyed Olivia.

"You wouldn't lie to me would you?"

"Let's think about what you're doing now," Olivia knew this was her chance to discuss every possibility of him leaving her apartment and leaving New York.

Lewis's smile grew as Olivia mentioned a negotiation, "Oh, I'm thinking about it."

"You walk out that door right now, no one... will know anything that happen to me."

"What about the pert little detective, the blonde one?" He pushed himself off the wall before raising an eyebrow, "Not gonna notice all the bruising, all the cuts?"

"Cab stopped short, I hit my face on the divider-"

Before Olivia could finish Lewis stepped in front of her and placed a finger against the burns on her chest, causing Olivia to yelp in pain and jump in her seat, which made Lewis smirk.

"What about this? These burns, huh? Dog with a bone, that one..."

Olivia took a few deep breaths before shaking her head and explaining, "So what, you've done far worse and gotten away with it." She let a heavy sigh trying to keep her mind off the burns that were causing her skin to sting. "You're lawyer friend, the redhead... she'll accuse NYPD of framing you after that trial."

"Mistrial..." Lewis corrected her before sitting back down on the coffee table, eyeing Olivia all while he continued to hold her phone.

"Lewis, Go! Get the hell out of New York City, you walk out that door and we can pretend that this... never happened." Olivia felt as if she was getting close to convincing him to leave her apartment.

"None of this didn't happen..." Lewis jumped up from his seat and ran his fingers through Olivia's hair roughly tugging her hair back.

Carter watched as she sat on the couch as Olivia was trying to convince him to leave, but he seemed more entertained than convinced. She watched as Lewis put pressure on the burns on her mothers chest and seeing the pain in her face, made Carter look away, she hated seeing her in any kind of pain. All the while Lewis thrived off of it. She was hoping that he would leave and consider leaving New York in the first place, but it didn't seem as if it would go that way in their favor.

"I think there's something you should hear..."

Lewis brought the phone to Olivia's ear and as she listened to the voicemail that Cassidy left for her, she realized that all she planned out seemed to be fading out around her. Cassidy left the voicemail saying, he wouldn't be able to make it tonight due to his busy schedule at the precinct and he would make it up to her another night. It made her sick to her stomach hearing the beep at the end of the voicemail and Lewis dropped the phone in her lap, before laughing to himself.

"... Guess he's not coming," Lewis was walking his way back over to the coffee table to grab the bottle of liquor, when Olivia called him by his first name and offered him another way out. It only got him ticked off even more. He grabbed the gun hidden behind in the back of his jeans and pointed it at Olivia. "You're still bargaining with me, really? We're past that!"

Olivia looked over at Carter and she saw her watching as Lewis had the gun to her head, she knew she couldn't allow her daughter to see this, it wasn't right nor sane. "I'm an NYPD detective. My partner, my squad, the entire department will hunt you down." She followed up into Lewis's gaze and spoke, "You think that you've put people through hell? It will rain back down on you." She warned him.

Lewis turned away from Olivia the gun in his hand falling down to his side as he glanced at Carter for a few seconds, he smirked licking his lips before turning back to Olivia, "Let it rain..." He then raised his hand and backhanded Olivia with the gun, hard enough this time that she immediately was unconscious from the blow to her head. Her body was limp in the chair as the tape around her wrists and ankles were the only thing holding her up at this point.

Carter watched as he hit her mother across the face with the gun and her body went limp, her eyes widened and she looked up at Lewis who stood there with a smirk on his face. He was more of a monster than Carter believed, she didn't know what kind of person he was or even the crime he had done in the past, but now seeing him, it frightened her to know. She began to pull at the tape without him knowing what her actions caused.

"You stupid prick," Carter spat as her wrists were slowly slipping out from the tape, the friction causing the glue on the tape to weaken around her skin. "you could've left and she wouldn't have said a word." Her hands were slowly slipping from the tape and she kept her hands behind her back, "I wouldn't have said a word."

Lewis turned his attention back to Carter and he placed the gun on the kitchen bar, her anger seemed to be showing even more at this moment and he enjoyed that. He saw a certain fire in her eyes and it was certainly entertaining for him to watch layout. He shrugged his shoulders stepping closer to the couch where Carter was seated, "You're probably right... you didn't say anything when a certain someone was harming you." He asked her.

Carter narrowed her eyes at him as he grabbed a bottle of pills and made his way to her bedroom, her eyes followed him until he couldn't be. She knew this was risky, but she was in survival mode and there was nothing stopping her at this point. The tape around her wrists and ankles were still binding her

Carter looked over her shoulder, in the doorway of her bedroom and she didn't see any movement, but she heard the bathroom sink running. She turned back to face her mother and saw the gash on her forehead, Carter knew that a head injury could be serious if left untreated and she couldn't allow that. Bending over to grab her mother's phone, she cursed under her breath once seeing the screen turn black.

"Dammit."

Her options were slim as Olivia was knocked out and she couldn't use the phone, a death wish would be sentenced for her and Olivia. Her phone was gone and her mother's phone was broken, she couldn't contact anyone from the precinct and that made her more nervous. She didn't know what to do, Lewis was ruthless and he wasn't afraid of harming anyone to get what he wanted.

The coffee table in front of her was covered in junk, between the bottles of liquor he had opened, to multiple pill bottles, cigarettes that he burned into the coffee table to put out. There was nothing she could use to her advantage. She heard him speaking to himself in the bathroom and she knew that silence would be the thing to look out for, but she could hear him moving around in her mothers bedroom now.

She spotted the iron hanger that was by her feet and she glanced over her shoulder once more, before she bent down and grabbed it. Once it was secure and in her hands she carefully began to poke the tape around her wrists, a small cut began to form on the edge and she quickly began to continued to poke seeing it was working. Her heart was racing in her chest knowing that this could actually work, yet the real worry for her was Lewis who was still in the apartment wandering around.

The sound of his laughter quickly caused her to stop what she was doing knowing she had been caught.

"Smart. Really smart," Lewis stood a few feet behind Carter and watched intently as she took the hanger and was poking at the tape on her wrists. She was close to getting half a tear before he finally decided to make himself known. Lewis quickly stepped over the couch and grabbed Carter by the wrists and forced the hanger out of her hands. "Don't want to hurt yourself there."

Carter winced feeling his tight grip on her run against the burn of his cigarettes that he left, she narrowed her eyes up at Lewis before whispering. "Right because the burning on my hand and the throbbing in my head that was done by you, wasn't enough." She snapped at him.

Lewis smirked at her sense of humor before shrugging his shoulders, "Which speaking of... we didn't get to finish." He then used his strength to carry her away from the living room and into her bedroom, he had already had everything laid out in there.

Her notebooks and text books were pushed off her bed and were kicked aside to make room, then rope was tied at the bottom of her bed and Olivia's cuffs were resting on bedside table, along with the bottle of vodka and pills. It wasn't until Carter was thrown onto her bed and able to look around the room to notice what Lewis was doing.

"I'm still sad that I can only take one of you. You know?" Lewis began to speak as he grabbed the cuffs and locked them around Carter's headboard before he locked them around her wrists.

"Though I'm sure there won't be any hard feelings, for my choosing your mother to take along with me... right, Carter?" He made his way towards the end of the bed and began to tear the tape away from her ankles, "I don't want there to be. I think that your mother and I, we just need some along time, you understand that,"

He spoke of taking Olivia and that angered Carter, he spoke as if he was enjoying the idea of kidnapping Olivia, who was still unconscious in the living room. He mentioned alone time and with her causing her anger to grow, because he knew what he planning in the back of his mind. As he threw the tape aside and bent down to tie her ankles to the bed posts, Carter quickly saw a chance to get back at him, she gave one harsh kick to his face that caused him to stumble back away from the bed.

Lewis didn't expect that kind of fight in her, but he stumbled back from the blow to his face and he tasted blood in his mouth immediately from the hit. He was angered that he allowed her to do that, but he also enjoyed the fight she gave him. He was bracing himself against the dresser lined along the wall and he laughed running his fingers over his lip, causing the blood to smear along his thumb and bottom lip.

"Did I hit a nerve? Talking of your mother... judging by that standpoint I'd say it's pretty obvious." He stepped towards the end of the bed and ran his fingers along the bottom bed sheets, "Struck a nerve, of course. You wouldn't want to hear about what I long to do with your mother. Oh... you don't want to know, sweetie. You're still protective, even though she didn't raise you at all, did she?"

Carter immediately regretted her choice of defense and she found herself shocked when hearing him mention her not being raised by Olivia, she froze. How could he have known that? It wasn't possible for him to know that, only those who had known her from the beginning would know the truth. Carter found herself not fighting the cuffs around her wrists, not fighting any of it. He had her full attention.

Her facial expression said it all, which made Lewis laugh as he tilted his head to the side and eyed her carefully, he knew just how to get under her skin and get into the back of her mind. He was thriving off of it. He could still taste the blood on his inner lip and he licked the blood away before he began to speak.

"Mommy gave you up when you were just a baby. You grew up in foster care ever since you were born, I can only imagine what that was like growing up in foster care. No mom, no dad, to tell you what is right and wrong. My old man... he taught me how to do something right." He reached out and grabbed her by the ankles dragging her towards the end of the bed, "However, little Carter she didn't have anyone growing up, but herself."

Lewis let got of her ankles as he then bent down grabbing the rope on the floor by his feet, "I'm sure you have some interesting stories to tell... stories with foster dads." Lewis stood at the foot of her bed and watched her carefully.

He took notice the moment her eyes avoided his gaze and now the apartment became silent, he had hit a nerve. This exactly what he longed for, he knew exactly how to get under her skin now and he continued on seeing her facial expression, the fear in her eyes.

"That's who did it, huh?" He began to laugh seeing her body language change, she began push herself further back towards the headboard using her legs as her arms were restricted being cuffed to the bed post.

"I bet you didn't see that coming, so young, just wanting to please. In foster care I'm sure that's all you want to do, to get one chance of getting adopted, to get that family. Or maybe by pleasing a foster dad you could get in the family. Then your mother... birth mother might I add. She's helping other children, all the while you were locked up in foster care being abused. Isn't that fascinating, I don't know, but that sounds like a lifetime movie waiting to happen. Too bad it was never reported, you could've met your mother sooner."

Carter was curled up against the headboard starring at the wall, avoiding his soulless eyes that seemed to be looking right through her. She found it difficult to block him out, but instead she focused on every word he said, it frightened her just how much he could tell about her. It could've been simple guessing, but he new more than she thought. She fought back the tears that were hidden in the corner of her eyes, not wanting him to see her shed a tear.

"How'd it start, huh? Was it... the kind of attention that you thought was genuine from your foster dad and then it turned different in a matter of months, I'm sure you thought he cared. Cared in such a fatherly way that it gave you hope, hope that someone cared for you and was giving you love and affection, type of affection no one had given you. Then... it turned, different. He would find his way in your room at night, convince you that what he was doing was because he cared... and loved you. Must've had some interesting dinners. Tell me... did the wife ever find out her husband was screwing the foster kid?"

It was enough for Carter to handle, he was bringing up bad memories of the past and he knew far too much about her, none of this was in her file, so she knew he couldn't have known any of this from there. Yet, how could he have seen all of that from just getting to know Carter in that short amount of time. Her past was coming back in a taunting way, as if he was wanting her to snap, which in this case she did.

"Shut up!" Carter quickly followed his gaze and as soon as her tear filled eyes met his, Carter saw the grin that formed on his mouth as she did, "Shut up, you monster." Her voice cracked as tears now began to fall and she found herself struggling to speak. She had been doing her best to keep her emotions hidden the entire time, but now Lewis had Carter exactly where he wanted her, broken.

The tears were enough to make him smile as he saw what he had caused, he stepped towards her beside and reached out to stroke her cheek.

"Shhh," He hushed the young girl in front of him, he could feel her tears against the palm of his hand and it made him laugh. "We don't want to wake your mother..." Lewis taunted before he ran his thumb along her cheek wiping her tears away.

Lewis could feel her attempting to jerk away from him touch, but he grabbed her by the chin and held her there, starring deeply into her eyes before he grabbed the bottle of pills by her bedside.

"I didn't want to say goodbye like this Carter, but it looks like I have get your mother ready to leave, I hate leaving the party so soon, especially when it was getting far too good." Lewis popped open the cap of the pill bottles before he shrugged his shoulders. "But I promise you one thing Carter... this will take care of everything."

Carter saw the pill bottle in his hand and once he pressed the bottle against her lips, she knew what he had planned all along. She refused to open her mouth for the pills, though when he pinched her nose and allowing less than half a minute go by Carter couldn't take it. Her lips parted for a deep breath, but once she did that the pills immediately entered her mouth and he then forced the bottle of vodka to allowing her to swallow.

Lewis stepped back away from the bed and dropped the empty bottle of pills and empty vodka bottle on the ground, he smirked seeing her cough at the burning in her throat. However, once realizing what he had done Carter looked up at him and began to pull at the cuffs with everything she had, he had given her a death sentence mixing pills with alcohol.

"It was only four sleeping pills little Benson," He stepped out of the bedroom and made his way into the living room. "sweet dreams."

Carter laid on her bed and immediately she was pulling at the cuffs doing her best to fight, she couldn't believe what he had given her and the more she let her mind race, she knew the fear would take over. It was all settling in, this was it. Lewis had gotten under her skin and gotten what he wanted out of her, now he had to take care of her in the best way possible. Mix the sleeping pills with vodka. Starring down at the bottles on the floor Carter took a few deep breaths attempting to calm herself down, though it wasn't working.

She could hear Lewis moving Olivia around the apartment and it made her sick to her stomach, not knowing what he was planning for her or even where he was taking her. Carter wanted nothing more than to help Olivia in that moment, even if it meant killing Lewis she would do it, Olivia was her mother and she would protect her with her life.

Her life seemed to be flashing before her eyes and in that moment Carter wanted to scream, but her throat felt far too raw to do so. She rested her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths she could feel herself slipping in and out of consciousness. It was all ending here. Lewis had won and he was taking Olivia with him as a prize.

Looking out the doorway of her bedroom Carter could faintly see Lewis with Olivia over his shoulder, she tried her best to focus on what he was doing, but he vision was getting worse by the minute. She was twisting her hands in hopes of breaking the cuffs in anyway, but her arms went limp and she immediately began to panic. Yet, there was no way she could panic when she wanted nothing more than to sleep, her body was getting weak and the more she tried to do anything physical it was getting stronger.

"M..." She tried speaking, but the burning sensation only grew worse as her throat felt more raw as she spoke. "Mo..." Carter began to cough in hopes that it would clear her throat, she could hear his heavy footsteps in her mothers bedroom and the sound of her window opening opening from the sound of the lock.

"_Mom_!" She exclaimed.

However, the only response Carter received was the sound of the window slamming before everything went completely black.

* * *

_**A/N: I went there... I went there. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in over... three months, I'm horrible. I know, but please don't be mad at me. I'm working on the next update. Please, please review and tell me your thoughts. Thank you everyone! **_


	14. Chapter 14

"Okay... well, either she didn't come home or she hasn't left her apartment in two days, but she wouldn't leave Carter here on her own."

Amanda Rollins glanced down at the papers and mail gathered on the doormat, before she looked down at her phone to see if Liv had texted her back earlier this morning. It had been two days since anyone had heard from Olivia Benson and it wasn't until the next day that Captain Cragen ordered for Fin and Rollins to go check in on her. Fin had already pounded on the door twice calling out to Liv and Carter, but neither of them answered. It didn't make sense to Fin nor Amanda, it wasn't like Olivia to not answer her phone, they also had Carter's number and she wasn't answer either.

"Liv!"

Fin called out once more before glancing back at Amanda, he had a gut feeling in that moment something wasn't right. He took a step back and as did Amanda, then within seconds Fin kicked down the door and they were allowed inside to see the havoc.

To both detectives it was clear to them what had happened here, but as detectives they didn't want to step foot inside the apartment, knowing this was a crime scene and that they could contaminate evidence.

However, for the both of them they feared the worst of knowing a body could be inside of the apartment. A body of their dear friend and colleague. They both shared the sick feeling in the pit of their stomach as the smell of burnt flesh hit them, they both knew what could be caused by this knowing Lewis's history.

Fin was the first to step inside and see the damage that had been done here, he quickly and carefully stepped over everything on the floor before making his way to see the mess left on the coffee table, cigarette buds, liquor bottles and bent coat hangers. Shattered picture frames on were lying on the ground shattered, the bloodstained carpet was what Fin found himself starring at. He couldn't stop looking around at the mess that was surrounding the apartment, everywhere Fin looked, there was a mess.

He glanced over in the kitchen and saw the bag of takeout on the counter, along with the crushed Five Crazy's.

He could hear Amanda on the phone to the precinct in the background as he stood in the living room in complete shock, he had dealt with his fair share of crime scenes, but now he stood in Liv's apartment and he knew what had been done here. He went and checked Olivia's room and once seeing no sign of her, he stepped out and shook his head seeing her bedsheets had been stripped from her bed.

He heard the sound of the cracking from the glass, he knew Amanda had made her way inside now. Amanda made her way passed the living room to Carter's bedroom, the door was closed and when noticed it was locked. Amanda feared the worse, within seconds Amanda stepped back and slammed her shoulder into the door causing the door to fly open.

Amanda didn't know what to expect from opening up the door, but once she saw Carter handcuffed to her bed and unconscious, Amanda's eyes widened and she quickly ran into the bedroom without hesitation.

"Fin!" Amanda exclaimed running to Carter's bedside and immediately began to help her, "Call a bus!"

Amanda Rollins pressed two fingers gently against Carter's pulse point on her neck and let out a sigh of relief once she felt a response, though Amanda knew that it was quite weak. She quickly took her cuff keys and unlocked the cuffs around Carter's wrists, allowing Carter's arms to fall to her side and Amanda placed the cuffs on the bedside table, where she saw the pill bottles. She gently shook Carter's shoulders and began to call her name, in hopes that it would wake her up, but there was response.

"Carter, Carter wake up. Carter, we're here, we need you to wake up." She raised her voice in hopes that Carter would open her eyes, but it was very obvious that her light complexion and weak pulse she wasn't going to get a response.

Fin heard his partner yelling for him to call a ambulance and immediately he did so, but he ran inside the bedroom and saw what Amanda had found. He yelled into the phone the address and the apartment number, before he saw the pill bottle on the nightstand. He quickly looked down the bottles, once reading the type of pill Fin realized what Lewis had done, the vodka bottle by his feet showed that Lewis mixed both.

"Son of a bitch," Fin snapped before stepping back and looking down at the young girl, he could see the injuries she had endured and judging by the bruises on her face she took a beating. It sent chills down his spine not knowing what could've been done to cause those, he didn't want to think about what had happened, but his mind was racing.

"Fin, we need that bus here, **now**!"

* * *

Her whole body was in pain, with every simple bump in the road that caused any simple movement in Liv's body, it caused the pain only to travel. The injuries covering her body, from the burns, cuts, to her sore muscles. It didn't help that her hands were handcuffed to the side door, causing only more sores to form along her wrist. Her head was spinning from dehydration and the blow she received from Lewis's hands before everything went black. She could feel the movement from the car and the music on the radio, as she began to blink a few times gaining her eyesight back, Liv could see the sunlight shinning through the windows, but it was an immediate regret as it made her growing headache worse.

His voice sang along to the music playing on the radio and Liv glanced up at the driver seat, seeing Lewis smiling as he sang along. She hated that sickening smile and she could still taste the vodka in her mouth from the stop he made earlier that night. Olivia was craving the taste of water, but her stomach turned at the thought of eating or moving her head, then the thought of the cop that was murdered by Lewis's hands for a traffic stop. The gunshot still ringing in her ears as the car came to a stop, the young cop's voice haunting Liv.

As the car went into park, the driver side door slammed shut causing Liv saw that he was missing from the driver seat, the few seconds went by before the van door opened up and Lewis quickly laughed as he removed the cuffs from the door handle. He then dragged Olivia from out of the van floor, she immediately felt the pain as she was forced to stand up in her weakened state and the heat on her skin made it worse.

It was difficult for her to take a few steps forward, causing her only brace herself against his body as he dragged her inside the beach house. She couldn't get a good look on her surroundings before the door was slammed shut, it was difficult to hold her eyes open let alone keep her legs from wobbling. He helped her step into the bedroom, before shoving her onto the bed.

"I gotta lose the car," He asked, the sound of tape in his hands tearing as he ripped it apart. "You gonna miss me?" Lewis asked before he leaned over looking Olivia in the eyes, a smirking growing as he saw the fear in her eyes, however he thought back to the familiar eyes that belonged to her daughter as well.

"Like mother, like daughter..." He told Olivia before laughing as he saw the look in Olivia's eyes. "We haven't spoken about her, have we? Little Benson, she's got your eyes. Pretty little brown eyes."

The moment he spoke of her daughter, Olivia narrowed her eyes at Lewis and she hated the way he spoke of her, but she didn't know what he had done with her daughter and the panic was growing. He was going to play off her emotions, which made it worse for Olivia who's emotions were growing at not knowing where her daughter was. Her hands balled into fists as she saw his smile, knowing that her anger was growing.

"I bet you're wondering, just what I did with your daughter. Must say though, she certainly is a feisty one." He gestured to the his bruised nose, "You didn't raise her, but she's got some fight in her. I loved the struggle."

Olivia's heart raced as he mentioned Carter struggling, then she noticed the broken nose that he had and it made her question her daughter's actions. However, she didn't understand where he was going with this, it confused her which is exactly what he wanted. The moment he reached down and ripped off the tape from across her face, Olivia took a deep breath and began to cough.

"Where is she, Lewis?"

Lewis heard the panic in her voice and he was thriving off it. He looked at the tape in his hand before shrugging his shoulders, ripping the tape off the role before smiling, "You truly missed out, she told me everything about her past, though it was pretty easy to figure it out. Where do you want me to start?" Lewis tilted his head to the side as he stepped towards the edge of the bed, where Olivia laid. "How about when she cried for you to wake up, that just touched my heart. She even called you 'Mom', I noticed beforehand, she didn't. How touching."

Olivia's eyes widened hearing his torment before looking away from his gaze, she didn't want to show that her heart was breaking at hearing this, but the torture was only growing as he mentioned her calling her 'Mom.' She was just wanting Carter to be safe and healthy, but Lewis wasn't going to tell her, he was far to cruel for that. Tears couldn't form in her eyes from the dehydration, but Olivia could feel it and it wasn't showing as much.

"Or when I forced her down onto the bed, when she gave a struggle... I don't want to spoil it, nope. Not yet," Lewis licked his lips as he was getting off on telling Olivia all of the cruel things he did to her daughter. He wanted to wait before he continued on with his story. He wanted Olivia broken. Lewis was going to play off her emotions, though when he her eyes travel over to the bathroom door on the opposite side of the room, he smirked.

"Been a long time... all that vodka, right? Let's go."

* * *

"What did she take?"

The EMS were rushing Carter out of the apartment building and on the bus that was parked on the side of the street, she was still unconscious and her pulse was only growing weaker. However, now they could regulate just how low it was beginning to get by the second. Fin stayed at the doorsteps of the apartment waiting for the crime scene detectives to show up and cover over the apartment. He however hated leaving Carter, but aside from that, he was glad that Amanda could be by her side.

"Sleeping pills, they were forced fed and alcohol was mixed with them. It's unclear how many she took, but were certain that they were quite a few due to the fact she's been unresponsive."

Amanda explained, before she stood aside as they got Carter into the back of the ambulance, they gave Amanda a hand allowing her to be the ride along. It was then quick to take off towards Mery, while they were on the road and the sirens going off the EMS quickly began to tend to Carter, hooking her up to IV's wanting fluids in her before they started anything else. The sirens going off were far too loud for Amanda to hear her phone going off, she kept her eyes on Carter the entire time.

She ran her eyes over the burns, the bruises, the marks on her arms. It was difficult to see the pain that was caused on her fragile body, from one monster that now had Olivia in his grasps. The young girl laying on the gurney out in front of Amanda, her life was on the line and the thought of her life being taken away because of Lewis, burned a fire in Amanda. Her mind was racing and once she heard the heart monitor beep at a fast rate, her panic set in.

"No, no, what's happening?!"

"Her body is going into shock," The EMS explained, but before he could tend to her fast rate, it quickly descended and the heart monitor flatlined.

* * *

_**A/N: I'm leaving it there, because I've planned on how to write this part of the story out and I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger. So, what will happen with Carter? Leave a review if you like this so far or if you don't. Please. Love you all. Thank you for reading this and thank you for your support. **_


	15. Chapter 15

She wanted to speak, she wanted to scream on the top of her lungs, but she couldn't open her eyes, let alone find the stamina to speak. Her shallow breaths were craving sleep and the more she felt herself slipping from consciousness, the more Carter felt her own thoughts slipping away. However, she could hear voices, very faint voices yelling out to her, but she couldn't respond even if her mind told her to.

The yelling progressed and the voices were faint, she knew them, which made her question what could've possibly been going on in that moment. She wanted to cry from the pain in her body, but any form of energy seemed more exhausting then anything. She heard the yelling, telling her to wake up, but it was more of a longing to fall asleep.

Then, everything went black.

* * *

**_May 23, 2001_**

_It was entertainment to look out the window of Rivervale girls home, watching the other children outside playing while she was stuck upstairs, in timeout. For what, she didn't know, but she knew she wasn't allowed to leave the bedroom to which she shared with eight other young girls. She sat at the window sill bench, starring through the dusty windows. She luckily had her bear to talk to, a plain brown teddy bear that sat in her lap. Her bear happened to be her favorite thing, she kept it close to her at all times not wanting him to go missing. _

_She was the only one left upstairs, it was nice, the silence for that period of time, but Carter longed to play and she was being stuck up here. A small frown on her face, she turned away from the window and sat back among the pillows behind her, she continued holding the bear in her arms giving a small squeeze. She was five now, quite tiny for her age, but she didn't let it bother her. She was dressed in a pair of jeans that had been __repotted multiple times, her shirt stripped purple shirt, her shoes were a little big for her feet, but it was all she was given. _

_As she laid back on the bench, Carter stared up at the bear and sighed heavily, then spoke under her breath. _

_"Is it true?" She paused and shrugged her shoulders, "Is it true that my parents didn't want me? That's what the older kids said, they told me that. That's the reason why we were put here, when mommy's and daddy's don't want kids, they send them off, here."_

_Carter's brown eyes scanned around the large bedroom, four sets of bunkbeds bunkbeds filled the room and were each shared by girls her age, though a few older girls were placed in here as well. A few toys were sprawled out on the ground, books joined them, shoes and games. It was ways to pass the slow time when they weren't in school, but luckily for them in was almost summer and it wouldn't be long before they were stuck here for two long months. _

_"I don't think that... that my mommy and daddy didn't want me. They loved me, right?" She asked, hoping the bear would respond, but he was silent and simply stared back at her. "I know they did, which is why I want to find them, they'll come back for me. I know they will, I'm just waiting here. My mommy she loves me, I bet she's wonderful. Sweet and caring, I could look like her. Her hair, her eyes, even her nose, I hear that you can have your parents nose. That would be cool, wouldn't it?" _

_"I've... I've seen mommies. My friends have them in school, they're nice. They make these things called brownies, they're yummy. I can't have them here, they're not allowed, chocolate is bad." Carter rolled her eyes at the rule, before giving a small frown. "I don't see daddies very often, they're not around much. But... across the street, I see a dad and boy playing __baseball, that looks like fun."_

_Carter was playing with the bears ears and trying not to cry, she told herself time and time again that crying wasn't good. That's what she was brought up to believe, if she cried here she got in trouble, which is why she rarely shed a tear. Yet, here she was longing to cry for the loss she never truly received. _

_She sniffled and blinked away the tears before she could ever let more tears form, "My mommy, she loves me. I know she does, I think about her a lot. What would she look like? What she could be like? We could be like each other, like twins. That'd be funny. I... I wonder what she's doing. If she's she's thinking about me too."_

_She glanced over out the window once more, starring down at the kids playing on the playground, seeing them happy for that moment, laughing as they raced back inside to eat lunch. Carter was going to be called down, or so she hoped. She continued on with her desires and dreams, longing for her mother and father in her life, longing to live in a house just them three, with no going to be hungry or fear of another child's cries. _

_It was all she wanted and it was her dream every night. _

* * *

**_May 23, 2006_**

_She had grown almost four inches since she was five, she was the tallest in her class and was the __quietest, she learned to keep her mouth shut and it was all planned out for her. She was now ten and in and out of foster homes and left the Rivervale Girls home, to her joy she was just happy to be done with the girls home, but she soon learned what foster homes were like. Foster Moms, they could be nice if they liked you, then Foster Dads they could be... drunk. She learned to keep her mouth shut and hide in her bedroom, which she shared with three or more. _

_The teachers hadn't noticed her hidden bruises, however they did notice how quiet the young child was, that was more worrisome then most, because she simply did her work and would hardly speak. Her teacher thought of looking at the young girls art, but it had proven to be a little more of a loss. Carter simply drew what she longed for most, a family. Carter as a student was exceptional, behaved, smart and enjoyable. _

_It was noticed that she always kept a journal with her, she would hide it inside her pillow case that way no one would find it, she would write down what would happen that day among other things. Mostly, the beatings she had received while in the foster homes, the pages were dated and she wrote the families names. No one paid attention, until Carter accidentally left it behind one day at school, as the the teacher saw it and it became known to not only Carter._

_She ran into school that day hoping it would still be in her cubby, but the moment she saw it missing and the__ guidance counselor __was waiting for her, she knew what it meant. She was stuck in a room that had a few toys and books, but she didn't touch any of them, instead she found herself starring down at her shaking hands, knowing what this could lead to. __The trouble it could potentially turn into, she didn't want to imagine what could possibly happen, but now knowing what her actions had done, it all made sense to her. _

_The guidance counselor stepped inside with the notebook in hand, she had a gentle smile on her face as she sat down in front of Carter, she then placed the notebook down in front of her. _

_"Hi Carter, I'm Mrs Caldwell, I'm the guidance counselor. Do you know what that means?" _

_Carter kept her eyes down on her hands, which now began to pick at the bottom of her shirt and didn't reply, she knew saying one word could get her in more trouble then she was in. _

_The counselor noticed the way Carter was avoiding all eye contact and kept her shaking hands in her lap, it was a sign of nervousness and stress. She tilted her head to the side and said, "It means that I help kids in this school, whether it be with class, bullying or... if they simply want someone to talk to. Do... Do you know why you're here Carter?" _

_She told herself not to cry, she knew better not to cry, it was how she was supposed to act, but it was all unraveling in front of her which made it worse. Her eyes watered as small tears formed in the corner of her eyes, telling herself not to say a word, she had heard stories of kids who report their foster parents, she wasn't going to be one of them. Luckily for her, the bruises healed up._

_"Carter, it's okay. You can talk to me, you don't have to be scared if someone is going to hurt you," Mrs Caldwell paused, now seeing the young girls eyes shift downward onto the notebook, "Is that what you're afraid of, that someone will hurt you. Because, you don't have to worry. Mrs Brown, she found your notebook and we want to make sure you're okay. What... what's written in here, is quite worrisome."_

_"... It's not true," Carter told her, breaking her gaze, knowing it would have to be a good act, just like she would use when the social workers would come to visit. "I made it up and it never happened. It was an accident, I know I'm not supposed to write something down that isn't true, but really. I'll throw it away and get back to class." She went to grab the notebook and make her way out, but the counselor stopped her. _

_"Carter, you can't go back to class just yet." Mrs Caldwell paused the young girls thoughts and stared back into her dark brown eyes, "I wanted to talk to you about this," She pushed the notebook forward and opened it to a few pages, now showing off the pages, the notebook was almost filled, but it only had a few more blank pages left. "This is serious Carter, these stories, they're very serious and we want to make sure that you're okay, if they aren't we will get you help."_

_Carter Benson stood up from her seat, shaking her head as small tears now rolled down her cheeks, "I... I like where I live, they're nice. They wouldn't ever harm me, no one has ever harmed me. I promise, none of this happened, it was a stupid joke." She snapped. _

_"Carter, the things written in here... they can't be made up, I know that and I know you're scared, but you don't have to be afraid." She got up to grab the box of tissues off of her desk, "We will make sure you're safe, the police-"_

_"Police?" Carter's panic set in as she heard her mention police, knowing very well what could happen to her if the police got involved. She heard the counselor speak to her, trying to get her to see the side of the positive, but to her, none of it seemed positive and she knew that now. The moment she saw the counselor get up, Carter grabbed the notebook and dashed out of the classroom. She knew the only way to make this go away, would be to get rid of the journal. _

_She could hear the teacher yelling her name as she chased her, but Carter was too fast and she turned to make her way down the other hallway. The notebook in her hand was the reason she was in this position and she was going to get rid of it. She ran into the bathroom and locked the stall door, before long, the young ten year old began to rip up the pages and flush everyone down the toilet, making sure the evidence was gone. The click of Mrs Caldwell's heels were a sign for her to hurry, then the pounding on the door was enough for her to start to cry. _

_Once she got to the last page, Carter stared down at the empty notebook that only had a few pages left and slid it under the door, she wiped away her fallen tears before unlocking the stall and stepping out, "I'm sorry. I promise not to make a joke like that again," She saw the face Mrs Caldwell gave her, almost as if she felt sorry for her, but she couldn't allow any of what was written in that notebook to be seen. _

_That day, Carter swore not to have a journal again._

* * *

**_May 23, 2012_**

_"Can I please just get her name? All I need is a signature and I will be able to get out of this, please." Fifteen year old Carter stood in her social workers office, now standing with a messenger bag on one shoulder and her small file in her hands. She seemed rather frustrated at the fact that her social worker didn't seem to help her, but Carter was going to find a way to her her mothers name. "I understand, it was a closed adoption, but please. I've been begging you for months now to get her name, can't you just ask your boss if I can at least know her name?" _

_The social worker sighed heavily, looking down at the thick file that sat on her table, she knew now that Carter had been attempting to get her mothers name and address for a while now, however she wasn't allowed to give it to her. She got up from her desk chair and made her way over to the doorway, "I can ask once again, Carter. But, you already know the answer to that. For the fourth time. Give me a minute, I'll be back." _

_Once the social worker left the small cubical office, Carter turned to look over her shoulder and smirked, "And I'm counting on that," She got up from the chair and grabbed her thick file that laid across her desk, she worked fast and opened up the file. It wasn't long before Carter got the name and address and wrote it down on the palm of her hand in pen, she had under a minute to finish and she immediately closed up the file and put it back together. _

_Before the social worker stepped back in her office, Carter was making her way out into the hallway and looked up to meet her gaze. _

_"If I don't get home by five to babysit, I'll be in trouble. Thanks anyway," She mumbled under her breath, making it seem as if she was still upset that she didn't receive her wishes. However, secretly Carter was immediately making her way to the address that was written in marker on the palm of her hand. _

_She watched as the cops were making their way in and out of the building, Carter couldn't believe it, her mother was a cop. After all the imaginations she had built up as her mother, she was shocked to be standing in front of a police station. Her mind racing at knowing her mother was inside, she nervously made her way inside and once stepping into the elevator she pressed the button and waited, humming along to the elevator music. _

_It wasn't until the doors opened and Carter stepped out and heard the doors shut behind, that she realized her mother was now standing somewhere in the precinct. The busy atmosphere of the precinct was immediately what she noticed, the telephones overlapping each other and the sound of the coffeemaker going off repeatedly, then the detectives that seemed to be going through paperwork at their desk. She nervously looked down at the name on her hand, saying it over and over again in her mind. _

_"Olivia Benson..." She whispered, now making her way into the precinct and looking around the precinct, she was hoping to see someone who may've resembled her. She didn't know what Olivia looked like, but she knew that as her mother they would have to share some similarities, right? _

_She stepped in the small precinct and eyed each desk, it wasn't until she found a small plaque sitting on the edge of one desk that read her mothers name. She stared down at the name and found herself in shock, knowing now the address was lying, it brought her here and there it was. Her heart raced in her desk as she stared down at the desk, knowing birth mother was working here, she had been here and could possibly be here. _

_Carter told herself she was mentally prepared for this. For this exact moment where she would simply tell her birth mother what she needed her help and get her signature, then be on her way. However, here she stood telling herself she had been ready for this moment, but Carter knew she wasn't prepared for this moment, her mindset wasn't ready nor was she. _

_From a very young age, Carter knew she longed for a mother and the connection to her mother was strong, but when Carter woke up from the dream she longed for, she realized it wasn't going to come true. She told herself, the connection to her birth mother was simply birth and nothing else, she wouldn't allow herself to create a bond with a woman she never knew, it was just her imagination and that was it. Yet, here she stood in the precinct, tears in her eyes as she stared down at the photos that rested on the corner of the desk. _

_Her eyes widened as she noticed the woman in the photos, that must've been her mother, Olivia Benson. _

_She's beautiful, that was Carters immediate thought as she saw her familiar smile and her eyes, it was true. She did look like her birth mother, a lot like her. Her hair color was almost identical, the only difference was Carter's hair was slightly shorter then hers in the photo. She looked quite a bit like her, in fact for years Carter thought of what her birth mother looked like, now she got a glimpse of her and Carter could see the resemblance which only broke her heart. It was her mother. _

_She noticed a gentleman in the photo next to her, she immediately thought it could've been her husband, then a few drawings were scattered among her desk, kid's drawings. __Her own mind was racing, Olivia could've been married after she had Carter, she could have children who she adored, who she kept. Herself, being a mistake that she had in high school or college. An easy choice to give up, without any attachments. _

_Carter stood there in the middle of the precinct, frozen in front of Olivia Bensons desk, starring at every little detail she could take in for that moment. A mental photo of that desk would turn to haunt her for years, she knew it would, because all the questions that would run through her head would not be answered. Or at least, she thought. _

_"Liv..."_

_Carter quickly looked up as she heard the voice behind her, the fear running through her was hitting her at that moment, but when she turned to see the gentleman that was in the photos with Olivia, her heart sunk. He stood now directly behind her with a small box in his hands and a few files that rested on top, a tattoo rested on his forearm that Carter couldn't quite make out, but his blue eyes seemed to be studying her as well. _

_This was her husband, she felt her stomach turn and she stepped back away form him, however he raised an eyebrow as he realized it wasn't the person he was looking for, not at all. _

_"Oh, I'm sorry... I thought you were..." He didn't finish his sentence as Carter now began to feel anxious from her nerves that were growing stronger. "You look a lot like someone, I knew," He noticed she was standing in front of Liv's desk, but not only that, she looked quite like Olivia which made it more confusing. _

_Carter stayed quiet as he spoke, avoiding eye contact as tears now streamed down her cheeks, she quickly nodded her head and wiped away her tears feeling rather weak that she was crying. She watched him carefully as he placed the box down by his feet, she noticed the badge that rested on his hip and that's when she feared the questions. _

_"Sweetie, are you okay?" He asked, he was patient now seeing the tears that were in her eyes and he saw the fear that was striking her, "I'm Detective Stabler, do you need to talk to someone?" Elliot was patient, knowing he was no longer a detective here, but he could lead her to one that would be helpful, but seeing the resemblance to his last partner, it made him question who was this young girl, standing in the precinct in tears starring at Olivia's desk. "Are you looking for someone?"_

_The questions were swarming her mind, what to properly say without it all coming out as a sounding crazy, but she knew she couldn't tell him, he could've been her husband and Carter wasn't ready for this. She knew she wasn't. _

_"I... I'm fine, I just... needed to come and see someone, but it looks like I must've just missed them." Carter replied, looking down at the file that was resting in her messenger bag. She knew very well that the paper was inside, but it made her fear the future. "I should be going," She told him, now going to walk away. _

_Elliot watched her carefully, studying her as her wandering eyes and cracked voice were telling the truth, but she was far too nervous to be crying and in shock. He could see that this young girl was hiding something, but it wasn't his job anymore, he put his papers in and it was over here in SVU, but he also knew that he could help her if she ever needed anything and if she ever needed to come back, he could lead her to someone. _

_"Wait..." He called out to the young girl, once she paused and turned back around to face him, Elliot grabbed a card from his pocket and then turned to Liv's desk, then he grabbed the card that was on the edge of her desk. "Here," Elliot turned to the young girl and held out his card first, "My name is Detective Stabler, if you ever need help or need someone to talk to, just contact me at this number. I know quite a few people who could help you here," He explained before holding out Liv's, "This is a Detective here, her name is Olivia Benson. She can help you as well, her number is on the card and you can contact her at anytime, she... she always answers." _

_Carter found herself starring down at both cards that he handed to her, she couldn't help but stare at the cards and distinctly at Olivia's number, she knew now that she held all the answers to her questions were on that card. However, she looked at Elliot's and smiled a little, he was quite a kind detective to offer these to her and she nodded slowly. _

_"Thank you, Detective." She took the two cards and slipped them in her messanger bag and looked back up in his blue eyes, she could tell he was still trying to figure her out as she was trying to do the same with him. "I should get going, I have to be home at five." She whispered, making her way out towards the elevators, when she stepped inside, she noticed Elliot stepped inside behind her. _

_Elliot raced to follow the young girl out and box in hand he did so, he couldn't help but feel as if this young girl was here for a reason, which is why he was hoping to understand in the short elevator ride. He watched her reach out to press the lobby button and gave a small nod as a thank you,' he then noticed a file hanging out of her bag and couldn't help but wonder what it was to. _

_It was silent, the only silence that loomed over them seemed to be rather awkward and they both stood, avoiding his gaze Carter stared at the buttons across from her, she didn't want him to ask any questions, especially because he knew Olivia. She instead, would wait patiently until the elevator doors opened and they would make their way out to leave and go separate ways. _

_Elliot knew there was something about the young girl standing next to him, he could put his finger on it, between her familiar looks to Olivia and between her broken tears that fell from her eyes. The fear in her eyes would be something Elliot would never forget, he thought back to the young girl Jenna and he quickly pushed it away from his mind, knowing very well that he couldn't allow himself to think of that. He wanted to know her name, he wanted to know if she was okay and was safe. _

_"What's your name?" Elliot found himself asking, before he could even question himself for his question. _

_"Carter," She replied, not mentioning her last name knowing it could've been even a simple slip if she allowed him to know her name. Luckily, before he could ask, she was saved by the elevator ding. _

_Carter raced out of the elevator and once she stepped out of the building, Carter didn't look back, fearing that Detective Stabler could be following her and she didn't want to face him, not after all the emotions that seemed to be swallowing her were growing worse. However, once she stepped inside her foster home and made her way to her room, she placed the file on her bed and stared down at both business cards. _

_She knew now that both numbers she co__uld call and receive help, but one number was her mother was going to answer one phone and a detective who knew her mother, would answer the other. The real question was, would she ever have the guts to go back to the precinct? _

* * *

A purple bruise ran along her cheek, her lip was busted causing dry blood to gather, more bruising formed around her wrists and arms, burns were left on the back of her hand in a circular formation almost mimicking a flower. Judging by the shape of the burn, most likely done by cigarettes that Lewis left behind in the apartment. She was now dressed in a hospital gown and her clothes were bagged, her eyes were closed indicating she was asleep, but she would occasionally twitch or attempt to roll over onto her side.

It had been now almost two days since Carter had arrived to the hospital and now she lay rested in a hospital, a oxygen tube resting in her nose and a IV drip in her arm. She had her stomach pumped when she arrived to the hospital, but the damage was done by the pills and alcohol. The only thing doctors could do, was give her an IV drip and hope that she would fight through it, the nurses watched her throughout the night and made sure her tox screens were clearing up and slowly but surely they were.

However, Carter wasn't waking up and the doctors could only wait until the young girl did.

Amanda Rollins stood there by her bedside and watched Carter carefully, she could see the damage left on her body, but she couldn't help but wonder if Lewis had raped her as he usually did. It was her job as a detective to figure questions out, but here she stood asking the questions she was used to answering. She didn't know when Carter would fully gain consciousness, but she wasn't going to leave her if it meant Carter would be alone during this time.

She didn't leave Carter's side throughout her time in the hospital, even when she longed to help find Olivia, she knew that this is where she belonged, by Carter's side while her mother was missing.

The cup of coffee was turning cold as Amanda was reading through a magazine she found in the waiting room, that's what she had been doing for the past few hours in hopes to calm her nerves and coffee actually calmed her at moments like this. It wasn't less then an hour ago that Amanda got the call that they found Liv and before long, Amanda was waiting patiently for her arrival, but debated on whether or not to leave Carter for that time.

She sighed heavily looking up from the magazine in her hand and threw it back on the nightstand, it was her third magazine within the hour and Amanda had grown tired of celebrity drama. It wasn't until her phone rang that Amanda found her mind on something else.

"Rollins."

_"... Is she awake?"_

Captain Cragen's voice came over the line and immediately he sounded worried and she knew exactly why, Carter was apart of their family at the precinct.

"No, not yet. The doc said she's still stable and they gave her an IV of fluids to stabilize her about an hour ago, I'm just hoping she wakes up soon. Liv, is she okay?"

_"She's as good as she can be. She's pretty calm for everything she's been through, Amaro said... she's been pretty beaten up, but he should be there with Liv soon, just... just stay by Carter and Amaro will be there soon, he will stay with Carter and you can go in and check on Liv." _

Amanda knew Olivia's life was on the line, which made her realize the young girl's life in the background behind her, could've easily been changed.

"That son of a bitch is going down."

"... Amanda?"

Amanda turned to see the young girl starring back at her, slight confusion as her eyes scanned over her new surroundings. Amanda didn't know what the young girl last remembered before she lost consciousness, but she knew she wanted to protect the her. She didn't know what to say to the young girl, other than comfort her and make sure she was mentally safe.

Amanda turned to see the young girl starring back at her, slight confusion as her eyes scanned over her new surroundings. Amanda didn't know what the young girl last remembered before she lost consciousness, but she knew she wanted to protect the young girl. She didn't know what to say to the young girl, other than comfort her and make sure she was mentally safe.

"Captain, she's awake, call me when you can." Amanda whispered under her breath, hanging up she slipping her cell phone into her back pocket.

Carter's eyesight was foggy and unclear, she couldn't see anything clearly until she began to blink causing them to water, when her vision cleared her eyes widened. She now laid in a hospital room, her arm hooked up to a IV fluid, her throat still raw from the dry from last nights events, her head throbbing from even the slightest movement. The sight of a familiar face was comforting as she spotted Amanda Rollins in the doorway.

"... If this is what a hangover feels like, I'm never touching a bottle." Carter said though her voice cracked from her dry throat, "I feel like throwing up, I can smell the hospital food down the hall." Her stomach turned at the fresh food trays being handed out by the nurses along the hallways.

Amanda couldn't help but chuckle at the young girls humor and she nodded slowly, stepping closer to her bedside and taking a seat in the love seat seated along the wall. She was just happy to see Carter was awake, but she had a feeling Carter didn't know of Lewis taking her mother.

"I should get one of the nurses, they need to know you're awake." Amanda made her way out into the hall to call one of the nurses, when they knew Carter was awake, they quickly got a hold of the doctor to check in on Carter.

Amanda stepped back into the hospital room and saw Carter picking at the IV in her arm, she didn't like the needle, not one bit. "You need to keep that in your arm, it's... it's really the only thing that's been keeping you hydrated. And don't pick at the oxygen either, I know it's uncomfortable, but until a nurse comes in and removes it, no fidgeting." She chuckled, watching as the young girl then placed her hands in her lap.

"Yes ma'am." Carter muttered under her breath, however her throat was very dry and she could barely find herself to speak clearly. She pushed herself up from the bed and felt her head only grow heavy as she wasn't laying down, Carter glanced at the cold coffee sitting on the arm of the love seat and chuckled, "That looks good, could I get coffee?"

"No, no you cannot have coffee when you just woke up," Amanda said, with a slight sarcastic tone to her voice, it was just a relief to see that Carter was awake from her two day coma. "Carter... do you know how long you've been asleep?"

"..." The question was clearly confusing to Carter and she didn't understand why she was asking this, "Well, it would be... Saturday, right?" She asked, but by the look on Amanda's face, it was clearly not Saturday. "Amanda, why are you looking at me like that? Where... where is my Mom? She's okay, right? She's fine and she's here, right?"

Amanda didn't know which question to answer first, between all of them Carter didn't know the truth to every last question. "Carter... you've been in a coma for the past couple of days, two to be exact. The doctors have been waiting for you to wake up," She explained, "As for your mom... before I got into that Carter, I need for you to understand what happened..."

"Amanda. She's asking for you."

Nick Amaro stood in the doorway to Carter's hospital room, he had a little blood on his shirt and he was careful, knowing Carter must've woken up from the coma. He saw Amanda's eyes follow up to him and he waited patiently to find the words to say, but he didn't want to frighten Carter. He sighed heavily, stepping closer and gesturing for her to step out.

It was now quiet in the small hospital room, but Carter was looking back and forth between Amanda and Nick, she saw the blood on his shirt which made her heart race. She hadn't gotten the answers as to where her mother was, but she was assuming the worse due tot he blood on Nick's shirt and the look in his eyes, she didn't understand why they were acting this way, but she wanted answers as to where her mother was.

"Where's my mom? Will someone please answer me?!"

* * *

**_A/N: Review if you think I did good, I'm quite in love with this chapter, I would like to know you are as well. Get back to me! please, I love you all. _**


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